is cracking your nuckles bad?

[Mighty Favog]

- On the other hand there was a wart.

- Young boy looks up at the sky when a big jet plane went over. He said "Look at that motherf***er!!" His mom snapps back with "I told you never to point!!"

- (clean joke) Young driver pulls into a gas station to fill up his tank and revs the engine pretty high before he shuts it off. An old man slowly walks out of the building to service the car. The young driver starts braggin' about haw fast his car is but the old man wasn't impressed. The old man says "Eh- Got a 32' Plymouth that'll bow yer doors off..." and takes the nozzel out and hangs it back on the pump. The now angry young man pays his bill, hopps back in and tears off down the road as fast as he could. The young man looks in his rear view mirror to see a little cloud of dust closing in on him quickly. The young man stops just in time to have the cloud of dust pass him doin' at least 170mph. It goes about a mile up the road, turns around and comes back to pass him again at about 150mph. The cloud goes back to the gas station, turns around and passes the young man AGAIN doin' 120mph. This happened three more times. By this time the young man is jumpin' up and down yelling " I gotta have the Plymouth!!! I gotta have it!!" The old man stumbles up the young man and says "Ya damn fool!! Ya took off so quick ya got my suspender caught in yer bumper."

[mike stehr]

'by the way mike, thats crazy that anyone would want kickback. think of the damage you'd take from a rotating blade with 20 pounds behind it flying into your face.'

That's what I thought when I was watching the guy do it.

But he could do it in a controlled manner.

We even watched a film which showed a guy that got nailed in the face.

Nasty!

[arfz28]

A man comes home from work and walks into the bathroom and sees has wife bare chested and looking into the mirror. She says to here husband, I wish I new a sure way of making my breasts bigger. He lookes at her and says why thats no problem at all,all you have to do is rub some towlet paper between them. She says to him how in the hell is that going to work.He says to her you been using towlet paper between the cheeks of your butt all your life and look how big they have gotten.LOL

[sj993]

LOL that was a good one. Prodj, you really just need to lighten up. Sometimes a joke is just a joke and I'm sure he meant it as just that.

[RangerSix]

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On 1/9/2003 6:10:49 PM sj993 wrote:

Prodj, you really just need to lighten up. Sometimes a joke is just a joke and I'm sure he meant it as just that.

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Prod suffers from double-negative syndrome. He's a joke, therefore does not recognize a joke when he see's it.

God bless you guys for tolerating this foul mouth punk longer than he deserves.

[sj993]

Well I would'nt say that, I think he's just a bit overly defensive is all.

[GooseChaser]

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On 1/9/2003 1:32:21 AM prodj101 wrote:

"Really, you couldn't cut any if you didn't start it???

Maybe, THAT was the point of the joke"

in your joke you said that they walked into the hardware and said they only managed to cut 5 cords of wood. last time I checked, 5 chordes of wood was more than 0 cords. if you're going to make a joke, and than say someone is slow because they din't understand it, you should at least make it so the joke makes a little sense. I don't have to lighten up when he's here calling me slow. I never have problems with other people, it's just idiots like yourself that bother me. by the way mike, thats crazy that anyone would want kickback. think of the damage you'd take from a rotating blade with 20 pounds behind it flying into your face.

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proDJ, proDJ... HE DID NOT CALL YOU SLOW.

he wrote,

"ProDJ- Actually the joke is usually told by starting "a polish guy walks in to the hardware store...."

Really, you couldn't cut any if you didn't start it???

Maybe, THAT was the point of the joke......that some slow individuals or polish people might try and use the chain saw like a regular saw and cut wood manually with it. Man you are WAY TOO TENSE. Lighten up.

I have nothing against the polish, insert your favorite ethnic group or friends name for good fun."

am I missing something here, are u polish?

if not, u did just call him an idiot though.

[prodj101]

nah, I'm not polish. I'm half jamaican, half american. sorry bloomis for the negative comment.

[jt1stcav]

Crackin' yer knuckles ain't no joke, but this is:

There's this lil' fury koala bear high up in a eucalyptus tree eating leaves and berries, and he's bored to death of the Outback! He thinks it's high time he needs to get away and explore the countryside, and just then a tour bus comes his way, heading back to Sydney to drop off its load of dusty, tired tourists. The koala bear says to himself, "Self, I've never been to a big city before...should be lots o' fun to go and explore Sydney." As the bus slowly passes his tree down the dusty trail, he hops on top and becomes a stowaway to experience the many new adventures that await him in Sidney.

Once in the big city, the lil' koala is dumbfounded by the strange sights and sounds. As the bus comes to a stop signal, he decides to jump off the bus into a small tree beside the road. Once down from the tree, he's standing right in front of a brothel. He's never experienced one of these before, and decides that it's time to let his hair down and have some fun, so he ventures inside!

The Madam behind the front desk does not see the small koala enter the room as she prepares her girls for a profitable night. The lil' bear climbs up the stairway and into the first room he finds with an open door. Inside is the most beautiful naked woman he's ever seen (big difference from the women of the local Aborigine tribe)! He jumps up onto the bed and announces, "G'day Miss, 'ow about a roll in the hay with a lil' 'orney koala"? His presence startles the ***** at first, but seeing how cute and cuddly he is, plus she never thought about getting her freak on with a koala bear before..."Oh bloody hell, why not!", she replies, and the ***** and the koala have the most insane, most unnatural, and definately the most unmoral sex imaginable!

When it's all over, and they're both relaxing and smoking their ***s in utter content, the ***** gets up from the bed and announces to the well spent koala bear, "Well, mate...time to pay up". Our friend the lil' koala has a puzzled look on his face and responds, "What you mean, Miss? I'm a lil' koala who lives down under. I 'ave no money, an' besides, we never pay for what comes natural". Dissatisfied by his response, the ***** picks up a dictionary and hands it to the koala and retorts, "Look up the definition to the word 'Prostitute'!" The koala bear opens the book and thumbs through its pages, and comes to the very word:

pros*ti*tute (pros'ti-tyoot') n. 1. One who solicits and demands payment for sexual intercourse.

"Blimey..." says the little koala in amazement. He then hands the dictionary back to the now smug ***** and tells her, "Now open the dictionary an' look up the meanin' to the word 'Koala'". Bewildered, the ***** reaches for the book, opens it and searches for the word. Upon finding it, she begins to read:

ko*a*la (ko-a'la) n. An Australian arboreal marsupial that has dense grayish fur, is found living in eucalyptus trees, and primarily eats bush and leaves.