cluless Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 BLONDES FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!!!! A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger." He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, . . . . . "let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsear Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Sorry. Can't resist. 2 blondes on either side of a river. Blonde #1 to blonde #2: "Can you help me? How do I get to the other side? I can't get to the other side!" Blonde #2, in response: "You're already on the other side!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Both very funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndyKlipschFan Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 and here I thought you were going to say the BF said.. "OK.. Maybe this might help, but lets put the picture side up first." hahahahahahah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scp53 Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neo33 Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 I still don't get either jokes. And I am not blonde! . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stan krajewski Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 ---------------- On 11/15/2004 10:48:16 AM oscarsear wrote: Sorry. Can't resist. 2 blondes on either side of a river. Blonde #1 to blonde #2: "Can you help me? How do I get to the other side? I can't get to the other side!" Blonde #2, in response: "You're already on the other side!!" ---------------- Very funny and very Zen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boomac Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!" A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out," he says. She looks down and shouts, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebes Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Can't leave out the blonde guys! The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait! An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time, I'm jumping too. The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He always made his own lunch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike stehr Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 Know what a smart blonde is? A Golden Retriever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sivadselim Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 A red head goes to the doctor explaining that everywhere she touched herself there was pain. She touched her arm, it hurt. She touched her nose, it hurt. She touched her head, her ankle, her ribs, all caused pain when touched. The doctor performed a short exam. When he was finished he stepped back and asked, "Is red your natural color?" "Why no," she replied, "I'm actually a blonde." To this the doctor replied, "You have a broken finger." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boomac Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, We were the first in space! The American said, We were the first on the moon! The Blonde said, So what? Were going to be the first on the sun! The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. You cant land on the sun, you idiot! Youll burn up! said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, Were not stupid, you know. Were going at night! IN A VACUUM A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?She thought for a time and then asked, Is it on or off? FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? HelOOOooo, answered the blonde. Theyre watch dogs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scp53 Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 keep bringin the jokes. there all dam good scp53 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tankhokie Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 blonde joke: tara reid what a joke indeed new meaning to "dumb blonde" (if you don't get this, just do a google search on "tara reid p-diddy" it is PG-13 rated though) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky Leeroy Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 Hilarious mp3 file - worth the time to open it. Enjoy BlondeStar.zip Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scp53 Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 lol, thanks for the song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BBB Posted November 17, 2004 Share Posted November 17, 2004 "Im willing to play the puzzle game. Just as long as they keep playing with my flakes and keep giving me a piece once in a while to hold me together I think blondes are GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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