thebes Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 RF7 has pointed out that some folks here are unaware of The Twins I keep metioning in various posts. So herein is a basic primer on The Twins and my somewhat interesting realtionship with them: Let's have a paaaaaaaaaaarrrtteee! Ah, but who will provide the music. Ok. I'm bringing a sixer of Pabst Blue Ribbon, the Carlucci twins (the one on the left of my arm is named Tawny, the on the other side is named Tickles, and for the music I'm packing a little of The Boss, a dose of Eric Clapton and a whole lotta Hendrix. ************* …. I are off to the Catskills in the morning. Going to to a hotel in the heart of the Borscht Belt to see Rodney Dangerfield. Borrowed a friend’s ‘62 coupe de Ville convertible. Fully restored but with a modern sound system. To get in the mood, Tickles has bleached and teased her hair into a bob and is decked out in an amply filled cashmere sweater, a flared skirt, wild scarf, bobby socks and two-tone shoes. Tawny’s gone a little more urban with an “Agent 99” hairdo, white blouse, red scarf, Toreador pants, and spiked heels. I’ve bought a can of Instant Hair, and managed to shape it into a ducktail haircut. With white t-shirt complete with rolled up Lucky Strikes, pegged black pants and leather boots with two inch “Cuban” heels, I’m ready to roll. ************** Well Henry it didn’t start out so well. I did my usual heavy date preparations: showered, pomenaded all three of my hairs, slapped on a little ode de colonie then slipped into my middle age bald man try’s to look cool duds: silk black t-shirt, linen/nylon black pants, black penny loafers and a medium charcoal gray Armani jacket. Rejected the gold neck chain at the last minute but I did slip on the rolex and pinky ring for just a dash of color. Collected the girls and headed out to a wonderful little French restaurant with excellent service and warm ambience. Now this was a bold choice on my part since the gal’s favorite restaurant is something called “Pappy’s Polka House and Sausage Emporium”. It worked out ok though. With my guidance we went light on the dishes with heavy sauces and, of course, I kept them from ordering the escargot. The usual cocktails, and only one bottle of Dom to keep them from getting too frisky too quickly. I didn’t even grimace when Tickles exclaimed, “Oh, the bubbles tickle my nose”. (Fellow gourmands, just how often must we listen to that insipid line!) Our next stop was for a movie and here is where I made a serious tactical error. I took them to an art house cinema playing a French movie (I think it was called” Les Glories de Pomes Frits”). Well Tickle’s reading skills are minimal at best and the subtitles gave her no amount of trouble. Tawny, on the other hand is like a cat and needs to stretch and found the seats confining and the pacing of the movie entirely too slow. Sensing this I tried out the old yawn and end up with my arms around their shoulder trick, and they didn’t seem to mind this at all. But, then I got a little carried away and tried the old popcorn bag trick and this turned out to be a very bad idea. After the movie ended I could tell they were upset because of the way they speeded up when we walked back to the car and the furious staccato of their stiletto heals on the pavement. I went into full damage control mode and started telling them every hoary old joke I could think of. You know: the old “Bear Walks Into a Bar”, A Three’-egged Dog Walks into a Bar and my best shot: “Pat the Postman’s Last Day on the Job”. I throw in a few funny faces and the mood lightens enough that they agree to go back to my place for a nightcap. So, we settle in I pour them up some sweet concoction that masks industrial strength liquor. Armed with all the suggestions from our fellow members I could gather up at short notice I head over to the changer. First up Metallica. The ladies immediately slap their hands to their ears, and although I like the interesting view this creates I can see I’m in trouble again. “Sorry, wrong record” I say and flip on Zappa. Their hands never leave their ears. I cover with “must be the candlelight” and slip on some Samba. Oh yeah, now we’re getting somewhere. They start to sway. Pretty soon I’ve got some tango on and we’re doing a little dirty dancing. Foreigner, Prince and Annie Lennox make brief appearances but don’t do the trick. The Police do just fine and we’re now getting a little hot and sweaty so it’s time for my big move. Using a little “Sugar Daddy” as a transition I pull out the really big guns and drop the really big guy, oh yeah, Barry White on the player. A few beats in and they start to get that dreamy light in their eyes, you know the one, so I …… So here it is Monday afternoon, the vitamins, aspirin and soaks in the tub have helped a little but I’m still really beat up. At least the blue tint is gone from my vision. Now if I can only get that smirk off of my face. *************** I need your help. So, I pick up the twins from the airport when they return from the manicurists convention. Take ‘em to my place and give them a present-new bikinis I’d ordered from Rio de Janeiro. They put them on and I take them out to the backyard where I’d set up a brand new trampoline. Tickles gets this wonderfully exuberant smile on her face and starts heading over to the trampoline when Tawny stops her. Appears she’d noticed the camcorder I’d set up on its stand next to my chair. Tawny whispers something in Tickles ear, they both turn towards me staring daggers. They grab up their clothes, don’t even bother to change, strut off with heads held high, and sped off in their convertible. So I go into full damage mode and show up outside their balcony with a Mariachi Band. Apparently they are amused by the giant sombrero I’m wearing and so they relent enough to let me them take them dancing on Saturday. Now it’s summer in DC and the club scene is a little slow. Got a good friend who’s a DJ at a downtown club and he says he’ll play anything I want and the crowd will go along. Ok the shooters will be lined up and I’m ready to bust some moves. Need some dance music here! Let’s get going the gals are waiting! *********** After a lot of cajolery the twins have agreed to say a few words. First up is Tickles. “Whooooeeee, whooooeeee!” Tickles please get off the trampoline and come over here. Thanks. Ok Tickles, say hello to the nice folks “Oh like where did all the creepy looking rockers, geeks and old guys come from!” Now these are the nice fellows who help us out with music every week “Ohhh, I LIKE music! It sorta like champagne you know like the bubbles make my nose tickle.” So what do you think of Thebes? “He’s funny, I like rubbing his head, an he buys us stuff, takes us dancin and even took us to see that Randy Dangerfield guy, whose, you know, even older then Thebes.” “Can I go back to the trampoline now, I like the way my ponytails jump up and down when I’m going really high” Sure you can Tickles but can you get Tawny to come over here she looks a little cross and I think I[‘m in trouble again. “OK, bye guys!” Er, Tawny say hello to the fellas. “Talk to this bunch of maroons. Sure stare, in your dreams, look that one guy’s got drool running down his chin.” Um, Slammin do something about that would you. So Tawny, what do you think about Thebes? “He’s a worm, and a very, very bad boy. Aren’t you Thebes.” Tawny please could we talk about that later. What else should they know about Thebes? “Well he’s got nice stereo gear, but it’s waste on him. He’s got a 3db spread between his left and right channels, poor room placement, a ground loop hum and ignored Leo’s suggestion for a line conditioner. Can we go to a club now?” Sure we can but don’t you want the fellas to help us out with some music for the weekend? “Yeah these guys do know something about music. Ok clowns, listen up I’m only going to say this once. I want the favorite three records in your collection. Well what are standing around for, I’m waiting.” (sound of stiletto heals rapidly receeding) Oh boy, you guys better really help me out now, or I won’t be able to sit down for a week. Hurry up will you she’s coming back! ***************** I may be in a little trouble again. We’re having a hoedown at a friend’s barn in the Shenandoah Valley this weekend. There’s plenty of hay to sit on, a buckboard for a stage, the pig hass been cleaned and racked, and will be roasting on an open pit all day under a hardwood fire. One problem though, the band, called the Hoboken Hillbillies got into some corn likker, took a wrong turn and now they’re down a holler somewhere. I think they’ve fallen and can’t get up. I've thrown a couple of KG rockers and an old Pioneer amp in the back of the ’49 Ford flatbed and I was already to head out when the twins got a look at my country and blue grass collection. Tickles is pouting and Tawny is frowning. Until they saw the cd’s they were bubbling and frolicking with anticipation. Tickles looks really great in her daisy may outfit with her blond braids set of with little daisies, and Tawny’s wearing a real Dale Evan’s cowgirl outfit. Just threw a keg in next to the speakers. Don’t let me down folks. Mosey on down and throw me a lifeline with some foot stompin, legs a–twirlin country corn. Let’s go! **************** It's the weekend, the Twins are not mad at me (for the momment) so we've decided to throw a PARTEEEEY. The tubes are warmned up the changer turned on, and oh, did I mention the Twins brought some friends with them? I didn't. Well here's the story. Last weekend the Twins were at the first annual international Doublemint Chewing Gum Convention, right here in good old Washington, DC. They made some friends and brought them with them. Over there in the corner chatting away are the Colorado Twins, Heather and Bubbles. In the kitchen, pouring out the Pernod are our overseas friends from the world's major source of beautiful women: Paris, France. "Colette, Francois una Pettite por favor, merci? Seavo plait, una word mit le membre de la Klipsh Forum cest plait." "We We mon Thebes. 'Allo americans!!! Que'est le musik?" It's raining outside so I can't grill, I'm low on booze and I have no snacks. Got some Burning Spear on right now but the Twins have heard most of my music so what are you bringing to the party? Oh, OH, Fini's acting strange around Bubbles. Got to go. Don't bother knocking just come on in! ***************** A Halloween Parteeeey! It’s an overnighter next weekend at a friends house in Salem, Mass. Also, their younger sister, Bubbles, is joining us. Now Tawny is going as Vampira, and Tickles will be smashing as a 1950’s sci-fi rocket girl complete with bullet bra, really short skirt, mid-thigh boots and cape. Not sure exactly what Bubbles costume is, but I’m given to understand it involves feathers, a large bird’s cage and a swing. Not decided yet what to wear, thinking “Blue” as in color of leather jacket, name of gang leader played by Pete Fonda in a 60’s Hell’s Angel movie. Although, I’ll be passing through Baltimore on the way up, so that leads me to Rocky Horror Picture Show. Maybe Divine in a white suit. Anyways, shot my mouth off, said I know some people that know music inside out so, all of a sudden, I’m in charge of the tunes. Hey it’s Halloween. Need strange, scary, novelty, weird, spooky, dangerous, you name it. Help me out and I’ll PM you directions so you can crash the Paaaaaaaaaaaarteeeeeeee and meet the gals. *************** Ok let's get the gang together. The Twins are home from their holiday part-time gig as Santa's Bad Little Helpers and wearing their working clothes. Supposedly cute clothes, all in red,cute little red cone hats, white frills etc. with really short skirts and somehow they look filled out in all the right places. I've never seen the Twins in the same outfits before, Of course they do have slight differences. Tickles is wearing those low-cut furry boots with medium heels and Tawny's wearing mid-calf high-heeled boots that perfectly reflect the shape of her wonderful gams. We've got mulled wine and spiced beer, a big fire is blazing, the lights are at medium right now so people can dance and the changere is opened and ready to be filled. Right now I've got "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree" playing and the Twins are starting to groove. People are starting to trickle in so........ They left just before Christmas to visit their parents in the Mid-west and to "swing by Uncle Donald's" I'm a little suspicous because they were wearing bikinis under their mukluks, down jackets and winter mid-thigh black calf hugger boots. Despite my best efforts I hadn't gotten into any trouble with them prior to the holidays, which I just considered a normal reaction to the good will and good cheer of the season. There's more but you get the idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ben. Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Primer? I hardly know her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analogman Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 ---------------- On 1/24/2005 11:19:41 PM bclarke421 wrote: Primer? I hardly know her! ---------------- Have you EVER had an original thought? Don't degrade fini's domain by crowding it with your own mediocrity. Thanks for your cooperation, Analogman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analogman Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 thebes, Pictures of THE twins, PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!! It's OK if you have to obscure their faces. Thank you in advance, Analogman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analogman Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 THE CARLUCCI TWINS! Thanks again, Analogman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicholtl Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Thebes, you make me thank God I'm only 24, because having a 3-some, much less LIVING with a pair of ultra-hot twins, is something every guy has to cross off on his "To Do" list in life. At least I still have plenty of time to get to your level. I bow down to you, your Highness... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tkot Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 ---------------- On 1/25/2005 12:40:14 AM nicholtl wrote: Thebes, you make me thank God I'm only 24, because having a 3-some, much less LIVING with a pair of ultra-hot twins, is something every guy has to cross off on his "To Do" list in life. At least I still have plenty of time to get to your level. I bow down to you, your Highness... ---------------- hey, nicholtl.... ever think it has anything to do with all thoes chopping, scraping and sniffing sounds i was talking about?? j/k jay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nicholtl Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 LOL! Thebes is still The Man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt1stcav Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 A man with a very vivid imagination indeed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edwinr Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 thebes, you're a legend. I bow down to your perverse sense of humour... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tillmbil Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I thought the twins were a pair of mono amps? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebes Posted April 22, 2009 Author Share Posted April 22, 2009 At the request of some of our newer members I bumping this up to help explain the origin of all these Twin rcomments they keep coming across in reference to yours truly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Dude Posted April 25, 2009 Share Posted April 25, 2009 At the request of some of our newer members I bumping this up to help explain the origin of all these Twin rcomments they keep coming across in reference to yours truly. Thanks Thebes. Now I feel up to speed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauln Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 Frank's daughters? Frank Carlucci, fomer deputy CIA director and chairman of The Carlyle Group? Better be nice to them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Professor Thump Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 Ah... now I am up to date on the twins. Thanks Thebes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebes Posted May 2, 2014 Author Share Posted May 2, 2014 Do to popular requests I'm bumping up a few tales of The Twins. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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