Most esoteric joke...

[Ray Garrison]

I would have posted this in two channel to go along with the "Best TV Show" thread after Fini's support, but I thought why antagonize them...

Anyway, what's the best example of an esoteric joke you've ever heard? Should be both really funny and really obscure... you know, something George Bush would never get...

My fav -

Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Godel and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg looks around the bar and says, "Because there are three of us

and we're in a bar, it must be a joke. But the question remains,

is it funny or not?"

Godel thinks for a moment and says, "Well, because we're inside

the joke, we can't tell whether it's funny. We'd have to be outside

looking at it."

And Chomsky looks at both of them and says, "Of course it's funny.

You're just not telling it right."

[Amy]

Hmm... I guess you can lump me in the same company with GW! [*-)]

[oldtimer]

I have never heard that one. I think it is hilarious.

[oldtimer]

This one is one of my favorites. An arbitrageur and an economist were walking down a sidewalk. The arbitrageur sees a $20 bill. He points it out to the economist. "Hey look! It's a $20 bill! The economist replies: "Of course it can't be a $20 bill. If it were, someone would have already picked it up."

[colterphoto1]

damn, this is a cerebral bunch, isn't it? Good stuff there guys! []

[jt1stcav]

A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza.

When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter get it. There a clerk asks him: "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?"

The central banker replies: "I'm feeling rather hungry right now. You'd better cut it into eight pieces."

[psg]

Don't waste your time reading this if you're not into math...

Two poles escape from captivity during the second world war. Since one of them is a pilot, they run to an nearby airfield to steal an airplane and fly away. But as they climb aboard, the pilot realizes that this is no rergular airplane; it's one of those experiemntal jets! He looks at the controls but doesn't recognize them. The other guy yells "Quick, quick! Do something!" and the pilot replies "What can I do? I'm just a pole in a complex plane!".

No offense to the Polish, the wording is just a good way to get the double meaning.

[PhilMays]

Man walks into his house with a goat under his arm into the room where his wife is sitting on the couch. The man says "see..that's the pig I've been making love to for 5 years now". His wife says "dummy that's not a pig that's a goat". Man say "SHUT UP! I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU!"

OK...that's not esoteric nor is it appropiate in this forum of upwardly mobile ladies and gentlemen....I am giving myself a self imposed ban ....So Sorry

[jacksonbart]

A dog walks into the bar and orders a glass of whiskey and says makes it neat. The bartender delivers a whiskey on the rocks with a starched napkin. The dog growls and says listen I said neat, meaning no ice, I thought you were a bartender?. At this point the internal voice in my head says Hey Ahole, dogs cant walk.

[efzauner]

"What can I do? I'm just a pole in a complex plane!".

he should have been looking for zero on the left hand quadrant?

[psg]

"What can I do? I'm just a pole in a complex plane!".

he should have been looking for zero on the left hand quadrant?

[]

[efzauner]

an engineer, physicist and mathematician are sharing a hotel room.. all of a sudden a fire starts in the garbage pail...

the engineer gets up fast, gets the fire extinguisher and empties most of it, putting out the fire....everyone is happy and goes back to sleep..

A while later.. the fire start again. This time the physicist gets up.. studies the fire... calculates the burn rate.. gets the extiquisher and aims a short calculated burst with great accuracy.. putting out the fire... All go back to sleep..

Of course not 10 minutes later the fire starts again... This time the Mathematician pokes his head from under the pillow...sees the fire... then sees the extinguisher...whispers... "There is a solution" and goes back to sleep..

[filmboydoug]

I am, therefore, I think. Or is that putting Descartes before the horse?

(Disclaimer: Joke stolen from Woodog.)

[oldtimer]

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, "Lets smash the can open with a rock." The chemist says, "Lets build a fire and heat the can first." The economist says, "Lets assume that we have a can-opener..."

[pauln]

---

A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, 'How much for a beer?' The bartender looks at him, and says 'For you, no charge.'

---

Two fermions walk into a bar. One orders a drink. The other says 'I'll have what he's having.'

---

Two atoms bump into each other. One says 'I think I lost an electron!' The other asks, 'Are you sure?', to which the first replies, 'I'm positive.'

True story:

Niels Bohr was being interviewed by the newpaperman. Upon entering Bohr's front door he noticed a horseshoe nailed over the door and asked why it was there. Bohr said it was a common beleif that it brings good luck. The newspaperman said, "You are one of the greatest scientific minds in the world today - surely you don't really beleive that putting a horseshoe over your door brings you good luck?

Bohr said, "Of course not, but I am told it works even for those who don't beleive in it".

[DrWho]

Here's one of my faves that only shows up on quite a few shirts - usually around the engineering side of campus:

[rplace]

Way back when there was a caveman named Og. He was a perfectly normal sort of caveman - he'd go out and hunt all day while his wife, Ogette, kept the cave clean and gathered vegetables and took care of the kids. One day, Og went out to hunt the sabertooth tiger. He had a pretty successful day - didn't get eaten, which was always a plus - but when he came back with the spoils of his hunt he discovered a large boulder had fallen off the mountain and was blocking Ogette and their two kids, Ogling and Betty, inside the cave. Og tried with all of his might to move the boulder, able all the while to hear Ogette calling for help, but it wouldn't budge.

Then, Og had a thought (something of a rare occurrence for him). Og's neighbor a few caves down, name of Gart, was a clever guy. He spoke in full sentences and everything. Gart was really good, particularly, at moving heavy stuff around. So Og called to Ogette and Ogling and Betty that he was going to get help, and rushed off to find Gart.

Og and Gart came back, and Gart considered the situation, then nodded, quite sure he knew what to do. Hunting in the forest he found a big tree branch and a large rock, wedged the branch under the boulder and heaved. And heaved. And heaved some more. But the boulder didn't move. But Gart was not to be deterred. Heading off into the forest again he found a bigger tree branch and a larger rock, came back, wedged the bigger branch under the boulder and once more he heaved. And heaved. And he and Og heaved together. And still the boulder didn't move.

Og's other neighbors were starting to gather around at this point, and one at the back, name of Nate, came forward and asked what was going on. Then, when Og explained that Ogette and Ogling and Betty were trapped inside the cave, and that he and Gart had tried everything they could think of to move the boulder, Nate nodded wisely. "Oh, ok, I see," he said, and then stepped forward and simply pushed the boulder out of the way as though it was the easiest thing in the world. Ogette and Ogling and Betty were saved, and there was much rejoicing.

And the moral of the story is, better Nate than Lever.

[Coytee]

This one in fond memory of a high school girlfriends mother:

A sadist and masochist were together. The masochist kept asking the sadist to "beat me, beat me"

To which, the sadist kept answering, "No"

[Ray Garrison]

So how do you keep a pervert in suspense?

[Champagne taste beer budget]

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

He'd lie awake in bed at night wondering if there really was a dog.