twistedcrankcammer Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Big Stew, Thanks for sharring, I'll try to give my own mother an extra special hug, and say a prayer on your behalf. Roger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fini Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Big Stew, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, but so happy that you and your siblings were there for her. It was almost 4 years ago that I and my family spent a similar night with my Mom. Like you, I shared the experience here on the forum, and that helped me a lot. This has the potential to be a hectic week for you. Remember to take time out, and breathe. You are a good son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobRiff Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Big Stew, My deepest sympathies to you and your families on your loss. Remember, she will always be alive in your hearts. Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Adams Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I too would like to express my sorrow about your mom passing away. Like a couple others here, I have a fear that my mom may pass away before I get there. Lately when I close my eyes at night I see her face and it scares me to think that those images might be a fore-telling of something. Anyhow, I think it's good that you guys were with her. Again....... I'm sorry. Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaryO75 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Hey Stew, I understand what you've been through. My Mom passed away about 5 years ago. She had congestive heart failure, and had been in a slow decline for years. She lived in Omaha where my sis and her family live. I got a call from the hospital saying she was critical and if I wanted to have any chance to be with her, I should get going. I live in Miineapolis, and its a 400 mile drive. Yes, I broke every speed law in Iowa on the way down, but I got there and had a chance to tell her goodbye, how much we loved her, and the it was time to go and be with Dad (he'd passed away in '95). And in the next few minutes, her heart slowed and then stopped. She was gone. So I've been there and done that but don't let anybody kid you; with a loving family the hurt never really goes away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Stew, Sorry to hear about your loss. Your presence there at the moment surely meant the world to her as she passed. My family and I said a prayer for you and hopefully you and your familiy will cherish the moments of the past. With regards, Marshall, Katrina, Rachel and Michael. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebes Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Please extend my sympathy to your siblings and know that you have my deepest regard in this sad hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hifi jim Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Sorry for your loss Stew, please accept my sincere condolences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saturn5 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm sorry for your loss, Stew. I was there when my Father passed, but I was a few minutes late getting to the hospital when my Mother passed. You're right, it doesn't get any easier. In a way, I think that's a good thing. Interesting you mentioned the song on the radio. I had a similar experience when my Mom passed. After leaving the hospital, still in a state of shock, I got in my car and the song playing on the radio when I started the car was "Don't Fear the Reaper." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Me Loves Khorns Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I am so sorry about your loss. God be with you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigStewMan Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 You folks are totally awesome...and I have yet to meet any of you face-to-face. It is very heartwarming to read such good wishes for me and my family. In many ways, I feel like such a heel. In the final hours of her life, I stood there remembering all the sacrifices she made for me (adopting me when I was Nine-years-old) being young herself and having a family already. We had many rough years because I discovered drugs at a young age and was quite rebellious. She did the right things that a Mom should do and I did the typical things that a person does when they are doing wrong and don't want anyone pointing it out. But my stubborness and anger, didn't intimidate her a bit and she continued doing what a mom should do. For years, i felt that I was an "obligation," meaning that she was raising me because she was married to my father's brother and when my biological parents died--they asked him to raise me and my brother. Those confrontational years are LONG gone and I'm a totally different man today. The other night, I looked at Mom and realized that I wasn't ever an obligation to her--I was her son and she loved me. I thank God that my mind has cleared and I realize all the wonderful ways that she has made me a better man, and a better parent. Like many, i live with the regret of time lost. All the visits that I popped in for only a few minutes and then headed to my brother's for beer and music. After she passed away, now I wanted to talk to her. We were "good" for many years after I wised up; but, I just wish that I would have done more for her. i took her to Vegas last year and that is all she talked about for months--how much fun she had. Thank you all for listening, being an encouragement. For a bunch of strangers--you're an okay bunch. Hope to meet you folks someday. If you're ever in Southern California--contact me. Best regards and God Bless You and your families. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colterphoto1 Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 Thanks for writing this Steve. If it's any help to you, you are not alone in these feelings you're recently experienced. This last paragraph is exactly how I felt after my little Mom passed away after suffering COPD for three years. I wasn't the best son I could be and didn't spend enough time with her. My living amend to my Mom was to encourage others to TAKE THE TIME with them because one set of parents is all we get. Even if you can't do anything with them just be there. I learned through my recently departed friend Dale that you don't even have to say a word, just being in the room is comforting to someone trapped in a hospital bed. Yes I 'wised up' like you but only after I had lost both parents. So for those of you who have parents or other loved ones, take some time with them and treat them right, especially if they're hurting or in their final years. Do it now so you won't have to live with the pain of guilt that some of us carry. We know we'd be forgiven if our loved ones were here but it still aches a bit. Steve, the pain will diminish with time and you'll be able to remember probably more fond memories than you ever thought possible. It's grand that you turned the corner on the obligation issue there at her bedside. She gave you a lasting gift in her last hour. That moment will serve you well as you grieve. Keep posting and stay in touch buddy, yes we're all family here on the Forum. Michael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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