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A country fellow is in line to see the magistrate for theft. As he's sitting in line for his turn he is struggling to figure how he can convince the judge of his innocence. As he gets closer to the front he listens to the two fellows in front of him:
First defendant: "Your honor, I didn't steal this cow. I've had her since she was a calf, and she's my best milk cow."
Judge: "Sounds reasonable, not guilty."
Second defendant: "Your honor, I didn't steal this hunting dog. I've had her since she was a pup and she's my best friend and guard dog."
Judge: "Sounds reasonable, not guilty."

Our friend gets his turn: "Your honor, I didn't steal this wagon. I've had it since it was a wheelbarrow."

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A magician was working on a cruise ship.

Since the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" Or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the Captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank.

The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it ... With the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally, on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said...

"Okay, I give up. Where's the ship??

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