joessportster Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 2 WEEKS AGO I HAD ONE OF THE WORST WEEKS OF MY LIFE, AT AGE 40, I WAS CALLED BY MY ASTRANGED FAMILY BACK TO KY SEEMS MY MOTHER WAS DECLINEING FAST (LUNG CANCER), I WAS ABLE TO GET THERE AND SEE HER AND TELL HER HOW MUCH I LOVED HER AND THAT ALL WAS GOOD BETWEEN US I HELD HER HAND AS SHE PASSED AWAY, A COUPLE NIGHTS LATER MY FIANCEE AND I WERE EXPECTING OUR FIRST CHILD WE WERE 4 MONTHS ALONG AND ALL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD, ABOUT 1am SHE COMPLAINS OF PAIN AND GOES TO THE RESTROOM , NEEDLESS TO SAY WE HAVE A MISCARRIAGE AND SPEND THE REST OF THE EVENING IN THE HOSPITAL, TIMES LIKE THESE MAKE A PERSON WONDER WHAT IS THE SINCE IN BELEIVEING IN GOD AND SUCH. I MEAN WHY WOULD A GOD ALLOW A PERSON TO SUFFER WITH LUNG CANCER ( A SIGHT NONE OF YOU WANT TO SEE, IS A PERSON, LET ALONE A LOVED ONE SLOWLY SUFFOCATING ) AND WHAT PURPOSE COULD BE FILLED BY TAKING A CHILD NOT EVEN BORN YET. I DONT UNDERSTAND THIS, BUT I TRY TO KEEP SOME FAITH ALTHOUGH I WILL ADMIT IT IS HARD, AFTER THE FUNERAL I GET BACK HOME AND FIND I HAVE BEEN OFFERED THE BEST JOB OF MY LIFE A UNION JOB WITH AMTRACK 21.00 AN HOUR, SEEMS I PASSED ALL THE TESTS AND MEET ALL THE QUALIFICATIONS, RECEIVED A CALL TODAY ASKING WHEN I CAN START, I SAID NEXT WEEK IF YOU LIKE THEY HAVE TO CHECK AND SEE WHEN THEY CAN GET ME IN TO START TRAINING, SO NOW I GUESS IM JUST WAITING ON A CALL FOR THE START DATE, I WONDER WHY IT IS THAT WE HAVE TO BE HIT SO HARD IN LIFE BEFORE WE CAN BE LIFTED UP AGAIN, I HAVE ALSO BEEN ABLE TO AMASS SOME AWSOME GEAR LATELY THAT BEFORE WAS JUST TOTALLY OUT OF MY REACH, NO WAY I COULD HOPE TO GET DYNACO MARK 3'S AND A BLUEBERRY, BUT I WAS ABLE TO SELL OFF MY EXISTING GEAR AND GET A GOOD ENOUGH PRICE TO PAY 90 PERCENT OF THE NEW GEAR AND WORK REQUIRED TO HAVE THEM UP AND RUNNING, i am glad to have a place like this to express these feelings and get responses thanks to all of you for everything. Joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Champagne taste beer budget Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 I'm sorry to hear of your tragidies, Joe. A prayer to you, your fiance and your family. Also, congrats on the new job and new equipment. Seems a lot of times when things seem the worst, something happens to try and keep things in balance. Best of luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSport Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 ...closes a door and opens a window seems to fit...prayers for your losses... Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garymd Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Joe, So sorry to hear of your losses, especially two so close together. I'm sure it was a comfort to your mother to have you by her side. Faith will help you get through the tough times but you also must not forget the blessings God bestows upon us every day. You'll get through this and become a stronger person in doing so. Please convey my condolences to Priscilla also. BTW - Congratulations on your new job and don't hesitate to give me a call if you want to talk. - Gary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joessportster Posted April 20, 2005 Author Share Posted April 20, 2005 thank you all for the kind words, and gary we truly appreciate your sentiment priscilla is close to tears again and says thank you as well, i beleive the more we talk about this between ourselves and the more emotions that come out the easier it is to deal with tragedy joe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fini Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 I'm very sorry to hear of your losses, Joe. Wow, talk about intensity! Hang in there, make sure you take care of yourself and Priscilla health-wise (lots of rest, good diet, companionship with family and friends. I sure have found this place a good spot to receive support in these times! All the best to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.4knee Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Joe, I am kind of dumbfounded as to how to respond so I'll just give it a try and see where I end up. First my deepest and sincere condolences on your losses. Getting back to make amends and let your Mother know how you feel and be with her when she moves on is very difficult but I believe you will count your blessings that you were there in the long run. Next you and your wife have our prayers and sympathies. Suffering such losses in such a short time span (not that stretching it out would have been more palatable) is undoubtedly exhausting and painful. Questioning your faith is not unusual given what you just went through. My wife went through a similar faith experience when her father passed from lymphoma. But your faith will keep you strong as you grieve. Again you and your family have our deepest heartfelt condolences. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> Now on the job congrats, it is very odd how things transpire. But as quoted before a door closes and a window opens seems normal is a very good observation of your trials and triumphs. I wish you success and a brighter sky in your future. Remember whenever you have to let off steam or look for support we are here. God Bless R/Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arthurs Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 Joe, I sincerely hope you find sunnier skies ahead, sounds like the new job is a warm ray anyway....wishing you fond and consoling memories of your Mom, and the brightest hopes for all those you will love who have yet to come into your life...keep the faith brother! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacksonbart Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Hi Joe I am sorry to hear about your mom, god bless her. Keep trying on the child front it will work out. No doubt in 5 years from now you and now your wife will have a beautiful daughter named after your mom (first or middle name, etc). Good luck on your new job, hope you get to drive the Acela etc.(assuming its working). Life is strange Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timbley Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I'm very sorry to hear of your losses. I totally understand the title you gave this thread. Life IS weird! I have no idea what God is up to. The good and the bad is all mixed together in our lives. We may not know what life is ultimately about, but despite all the pain and heartbreak, we seem to have an innate sense that it's all worth it. Good luck in your new job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endover Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I'll throw in a word of encouragement.... I know where your coming from and it's difficult. My wife and I lost two kids before they were born over the past couple of years. It was difficult to say the least because those would have been our first.....but the story doesn't end there..... 4 weeks ago we got back from China with the sweetest 12 month old boy you ever saw. (...and yes...I said "boy" which adopting a healthy boy from China is incredibly rare). Did God know what He was doing from the beginning? Without a doubt He knew! I wouldn't trade our experiences for anything nor would I trade this cute little kid that I now have the priviledge of bringing up in a Godly home! We are now more compassionate and understanding people than we were before. ALWAYS stand with God and you'll ALWAYS win..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dodger Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 I am sorry to hear of your losses. You have my sympathies. Remember to keep talking when needed. Don't hold it in. Congratulations on the job, maybe it's one way of fully preparing . I don't know. Life is strange, there are reasons, it just takes time to find them. But always stand together. dodger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Dee Posted April 21, 2005 Share Posted April 21, 2005 Joe, I'm sorry to hear of your losses. That is alot to bear... the death of your mother, her last season with lung cancer. And then the loss of the baby. That is alot of loss. I've never heard anyone give me an explanation for losses such as untimely death or suffering that made enough sense for me to say, "oh, O.K. that makes sense now." I guess such loss is always going to be ragged. What I have come to be deeply thankful for is the caring of others that I've not had to bear grief alone. It has been through those time of deep care from others that I've also come to think that God cares even more deeply than they. It's not the explanation to make sense of things that I'd wanted at first, but something else for which I've come to be thankful. And peace can come after that. Congrats on the job. Best wishes for you and your fiancee. You've got support and caring in this place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joessportster Posted April 21, 2005 Author Share Posted April 21, 2005 thank you all for your kind words they are truly appreciated Joe & priscilla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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