Cal Blacksmith Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I am starting a new company, I thought I would offer the chance for the forum member to get first chance at this product as supplies are VERY limited. For centuries, whale oil was the finest oil available but whales are in short supply and we will not support their slaughter but now; Nature Only Is proud to offer to the discerning audiophile for the first time EVER, SNAKE OIL Now you can have for the first time, the finest lubricant EVER refined! The scales on snakes must move freely over each other for a LIFETIME! Not only do they need to move freely for a lifetime, they need to do it in the dirtiest conditions possible! As snakes grow, they need to shed their skin as it is composed entirely of these scales. We have perfected a way to extract this oil from our domestically raised snakes FRESHLY shed skins, freshness is important as the oil will dry up within a few hours of shedding. We have added a special polymer to the extracted oil to keep it from drying and being wasted! As you can see, this oil is very rare and thus it is only for those audiophiles who are TRULY interested in the most advanced lubrication possible for their turntable bearings. This oil is guaranteed to reduce rumble, repel dirt and provide the smoothest possible surface for your platter to run on! You will hear extended high frequencies that you never knew were on the record! The width and depth of the sound stage will more than double while adding smoothness to the music that you must hear to appreciate! The cost is ONLY $98.99 for a 1/10 oz bottle! A true bargain indeed when you remember how rare this oil is and how many snake skins are needed to produce it! But dont take our word for it, read what our customers have to say; NEW UNBELEAVIBLE! This oil really works! I have never felt any oil so slick! Bob R, 7/06 NEW I never would have believed it but it is TRUE! I ordered a bottle just to try and the improvement in my Turntables reproduction has CHANGED MY MIND on upgrading to a Clear Audio table, I dont need it anymore! Harold G. 6/06 NEW While on vacation to the U.S. I heard the difference this oil made in my friends turntable and I bought a bottle right then and there as it can not be imported to my country, this is truly an INCREADIBLE OIL! Yellioan H. 6/06 Get it hot, Hit it hard! System in profile Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Dee Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Best wishes for your new enterprise. I would like to sign on to the effort and offer my services as a tester for prototype interconnects of which their performance can be enhanced (only golden ears will be able to appreciate these improvements) with light applications of snake oil on conductive surfaces. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrot Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Count me in. Are you looking for regional distributors? Could you also make snake grease for early Garrards? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I have connections in China. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fini Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I have connections in China. Wow! You're sure to pick up some RF with patch cords that long! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colterphoto1 Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Is there a European variety that would work well for my Thornes turntable? I'd hate to use domestic snake oil when only the finest imported oil is required by the owners manual. M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrot Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I have connections in China. Wow! You're sure to pick up some RF with patch cords that long! And think of the hassle of flipping sides. You'd have to turn back practically immediately if you wanted to be there before the stylus got to the end. Maybe this is why some people still use changers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hardhead Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 "This stuff is so good I can hear a difference even while my stereo is turned off!!!" --Satisfied Coustomer with Golden Ears Beware of counterfeits! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I have connections in China. Wow! You're sure to pick up some RF with patch cords that long! And think of the hassle of flipping sides. You'd have to turn back practically immediately if you wanted to be there before the stylus got to the end. Maybe this is why some people still use changers. Hah! No RF problems at all but then I only use very long cryogenically treated, irradiated, pure Brazilian silver patch cords fully immersed in a constant counter-current flow of concentrated Cal's Snake Oil. The physicists are stumped but then again they're only scientists. The soundstage is wide yet focused and very musical yet detailed. I have a live Ferrante and Teicher album on which you can actually hear a guy in the audience (10th row) clipping his finger nails after you treat it with Cal's Snake Oil (I swear, it blows my golden eared friends away when they hear it). Flipping was outsourced a long time ago. Do you have any idea what you have to pay union flippers in the US anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Blacksmith Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 Michael, the snakes were imported but the offspring are now domestic. The imported oil is on discount at $ 499 / 1/10oz in cut glass decanters with pure silver dippers in the lid. The grease is in development but the darn stuff is so slick that it won't stay where you put it on the TT. I tried Chinese snakes but they looked too much like dragons, perhaps there oil will be ok on the knock off TTs that are sure to come. Distrubition is currently by mail order but regional distrubitors seem like a good idea. For those of you who have tried the oil and are happy, thank you for the kind words, Yes it does improve the connections when used IN SMALL AMOUNTS because if you use too much, the plugs won't stay in the jacks, they just fall out. A little goes a long way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacksonbart Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I am calling PETA, how could one take the oil from the snake, so cruel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted August 2, 2006 Moderators Share Posted August 2, 2006 It' about time someone came up with such a oil. Just to prove how good it is ,you could send a fraction of a drop for people to try. They could be instructed how to put it on their credit cards so it slides through the machine with ease for the purchase. Only the best for people that have this quality of equipment and knowledge the average person just can't understand ! Just a question though, do you have to have that super hearing that i read so much about or regular ears slightly abused work to hear the improvements? Also is it safe to use if you have the magic pebbles and other products from that company? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Blacksmith Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 Jacksonbart, you are clearly not the client we are after.You must first READ the whole advert. If you did, you would find that we onlyuse the DISCARDED SKINS of the snakes, no snakes are actually harmed in theprocess, JESH SOME PEOPLE! The free sample sounds like a good idea but the oil is sopowerful that even a fraction of a drop is enough to do a single TT and I cantrisk the possibility that it would be used that way. If you cant hear thedifference with the use of my product, then you have such inferior hearing thatyou should get a VTD for your telephone, like the DEAF have. Our product is fully compatable with the audiophile grade outlet covers, magic pebels and the wonder clock. Other products in their line have not been tested but for those that were, there was a marked improvement in the combined use over their product alone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted August 2, 2006 Moderators Share Posted August 2, 2006 Like Joe Dirt would say, DANG that's some good stuff ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfandbark Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Hey Cal! Seeings you're out there on the west coast I was wondering if you could track me down another bottle of Sasquatch Urine Tube and Tuner Cleaner. The midwest distributor of this product is currently being held by the law under charges of retail fraud and therefore local supplies have dried up. I only have a few dribbles left so if you run across some next day air or overnight express is fine with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnyholiday Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Eicosapentaenic acid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 ......I tried Chinese snakes but they looked too much like dragons, perhaps there oil will be ok on the knock off TTs that are sure to come..... You shouldn't dismiss the Chinese snake oil knock-off idea so quickly. My friends there could put out faux snake oil (or call it "tribute snake oil") for next to nothing. I swear that even an expert couldn't tell it from genuine snake oil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt1stcav Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 Great idea! You'll make a killing with this stuff in Singapore, the land of amber pebbles and other precious gemstones for CD transports. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockbobmel Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I want a partner and you may be just the ticket! I have a patent on "Brilliant Pins" and am working on "Brilliant Dimes". Checkem out. You can stick them anywhere to enhance HF clarity and reduce sibilance. $199. + $29.99 S&H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockbobmel Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I want a partner and you may be just the ticket! I have a patent on "Brilliant Pins" and am working on "Brilliant Dimes". Checkem out. You can stick them anywhere to enhance HF clarity and reduce sibilance. $199. + $29.99 S&H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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