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OT: My year in (candid) review...............


Tom Adams

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Well......it's finally here. Friday - my last work day of the year. Sitting here and reflecting back on the year, I can't help but wonder where the year went. I recall entering this year thinking that soon my radiation treatment would be over, Laura & I's relationship seemed to be ok, and there was some recovery ahead for us financially just as we had planned. In addition to that we would become parents to a beautiful little boy that was gonna get a life he would otherwise never have. And then there were the motorcycle trips we talked about taking and vacations with the family and creating the coolest motorsport themed little boys bedroom for our soon to be adopted son. As 2006 moved along I began struggling with the radiation effects, but felt I could deal with it. And then the adoption falls through. Then our relationship becomes strained and I grow more irritable, irrational, impatient which drives Laura further away. Finally.......my world crumbles as she moves out. The low point? Sitting in the corner of a bedroom, thinking you have nothing to live for, with several bottles of pain pills in front of you. Fortunately, I knew that killing myself was not the answer.

To this day I still don't understand how that couple that had so much fun on a motorcycle trip or went around delivering copies of the DVD "Polar Express" to neighbors & friends last Christmas was the same couple that sat across from each other last night at dinner and no longer looked into each other's eyes and sighed from the emotional warmth that caressed their hearts. Deep down I know that God will take care of us and that he has a plan for us. At this moment, I'm not sure what that plan is, but I am willing to accept his bidding.

This year is not the year that I expected to have, but in hindsight, it's not been so terribly bad. I've met some wonderful people that I'm sure I would never have met had my life continued on it's previous course. My cancer is in complete remission and I've become a bit more self-sufficient. I had my elbow bone spur removed and got back to playing tennis with renewed vigor. I took some excellent motorcycle trips and re-established the relationship between my parents and I. My separation resulted in me reconnecting with friends, making new ones, and discovering the wonderful power that comes from people who reach out to you because they truly care. But the highlight of the year for me was my refusal to no longer ignore the voice of God and become born again. Although baptized as an infant, I made the choice to be baptized again and it has been the most powerful thing I've done spiritually in my 50 years on this planet. And it's opened new doors for new experiences that I can't wait to avail myself to. Wow.....amazing how one can go from such depths of despair to a place where even though all might not be perfect, there's that wonderful light beginning to peak through the forrest hinting that awesome times are just around the corner. And more than ever, I'm humbled by the fact that not only did God send his son to save man, but that he gave me a chance to be saved as well.

It is my sincerest wish that no matter who your God is, that he speaks to your heart this season and fills your life with peace and happiness. If you're alone, seek him for comfort. Your sadness might not go away completely, but the hope you feel will diminish the despair. And to every one I wish a very Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year. I know I'm looking forward to my New Year - I hope you will as well.

Tom

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That's quite a year Tom,glad you made it and hope you see many more with renewed love of life.I've had quite a year myself,not great but I'm still livin' so it could be worse.My mother inlaw of 31 years died(great sorrow for my wife,makes me sad).,my dog of 15 years also expired about a month ago and a good friend past a few days ago.We'll hope the new year brings better fortune for all of us,have a good one!.

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Tom,

Best wishes to you as you sort this one out. My hope for you is that your sense of humor gets a big boost from all this heavy stuff you're going through. Please let me know when you're ready for those subtle gym sock references...

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Tom considering everything you sound good. Everything happens for a reason, that's what they say anyway. Thanks for being so honest, it's good that you can talk about it like this. Good luck, things will improve, have faith. Merry Christmas

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I'm certainly glad you didn't opt out of life there in the corner of your bedroom! Although you obviously had a trying year, to see things turn around, you have to be around. Life threw you more trials in one year than anyone should have to endure, but I'm glad you found the strength to face and overcome them.

I guess I was struck by your post since I turned the big five-0 this year too. Shoot, that in itself is enough to make the hardiest soul take stock of where they are, where they've been and especially, where they're going.

Hang in there. And merry Christmas!

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Thanks Tom.

Know that not only is God with you, but you are not alone here on the Big Blue Marble called Earth. There are many individuals who have been through incidents such as yours, or nearly so devastating. You may have helped a few of them by opening up and writing this. Good that in retrospect you were able to get some good from so much pain.

Peace my Brother,

Michael

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Tom, I too am glad to hear you are getting your ship turned around. I have something to offer and I hope that I'm not out of place in doing such. I offer it because it helped me with my own relationship with my wife several years ago. Ignore the title of the site, for it's much, much more. Look through it and you will find a wealth of articles, cause for self relection, and a road map out of relationship hell. Really, what I gained was a new out look on how to treat people. Not just your loved one, but everyone you meet, or even work with. I hope going to this site helps you and Laura as much as it helped us.

http://www.divorceasfriends.com/

Good luck

TC

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[Y]

Ditto the thumbs up!

I am sitting here far too late in the evening, weeping over your post Tom. I am just days away from the anniversary of Barbara's passing due to cancer, and thinking of how much she loved God. Perhaps more importantly, how much He loved her, loves her, and loves us. And I, well, I haven't reached such a point of despair that you did, but I do have struggled through this past year. I now have a girlfriend of sorts. She is teaching in China at the moment, and I have a trip to be with her in February. Just got the plane tickets today, and will meet up with her in the Philippines. Life takes funny turns sometimes. It is an expensive trip but it is, in a way, only money.

Have a great Christmas, Tom. God is a God who loves us as His own children, for that is what we are. Some day we shall see Him face to face. What a Glorious day that will be.

Bruce

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Wasn't it Tom Chapin (Harry's Brother) who hosted this Sunday morning show for kids that talked about cool stuff on our planet? I'll look it up.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blue_Marble

Based on a very impressive photo taken my Apollo astronauts with Hassleblad camera and 80mm lens (which I own, well not the actual ones used...)

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Wasn't it Tom Chapin (Harry's Brother) who hosted this Sunday morning show for kids that talked about cool stuff on our planet? I'll look it up.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Blue_Marble

Based on a very impressive photo taken my Apollo astronauts with Hassleblad camera and 80mm lens (which I own, well not the actual ones used...)

the 500 c/m ahhhhhh

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Wow Tom... I had no idea.... as we have messaged briefly before, I too am going through similair problems. On the brighter side though you are right... we both are in remission & God is always there for us.

I hope your new year comes with new joy & happiness!

Your friend - Joe

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