Come on you Panty Waist...

[thebes]

...prancing, hirsute ballarenas, weak-kneed, limp-wristed,
tight-wearing , lisping, degenerate, fudge-loving, corn -loving,
nancy-boy, girly men. It's time to unlatch that corset, kick off
those over-sized heels, lose the support hose, grow some chestnuts
and......

open up a sealed lp.

Don't bat those fake eylashes at me,
none of those coquettish false smiles, wipe off the mascara and lose
the Diana Ross rug because I'm not buying it.

Everybody whose got records has at least one sealed lp tucked
away in a secret spot like some spinsters hope chest. Look, I'm a
modern guy. I understand your pain, your reluctance to part with a
secret link to your sordid past but prancing around in tights only
masks your real need for closure.

Sure, I'm the same way but I've grown some cajones,
I've stepped up to the plate, I've bit the bullet. In the last
three weeks I've popped the cherry on not just one, but 4 sealed lps
and I'm feeling good about myself. I've started drinkng beer
again, occassionally when walking down the street I let loose with a
massive hawker, started watching sports on tv, and every now and then I
give the "boys" a good scratch just because I can.

Tonight it was
the Cowboy Junkies, "The Trinity Session" sealed since 1988.
Never heard them before and I just love this album. I think Margo
Timmins been carrying a torch for me all these years. At the end
of "Sweet Jane' if you listen really closely she actually singing
"sweet Thebes".

Look guys your wives and girfriends are understanding up
to a point, after all they lost their virginity a long time ago and more than
likely not with you. It's time to give it up and toss 'er on the
changer. It'll make a man outya.

Now I know who the record players are around here, and I'd
better start hearing from them very soon. I want to know what lp
you cracked and what you thought of it. After all it's a small
forum, you wouldn't want word to get around that you are one of those
would you?

[Allan Songer]

The most "valuable" sealed record I ever opened (thereby halving it's value) was a mono 6-eye "Kind of Blue." I still have it--I've probably played it a couple of hundred times since that day (about 15 years ago) and it still sounds fantastic.

[Chicago_Pete]

...Prancing, hirsute ballerinas, weak-kneed, limp-wristed, tight-wearing , lisping, degenerate, fudge-loving, corn -loving, nancy-boy, girly men.

Pardon me?

[Audio Flynn]

The most "valuable" sealed record I ever

opened (thereby halving it's value) was a mono 6-eye "Kind of

Blue." I still have it--I've probably played it a couple of

hundred times since that day (about 15 years ago) and it still sounds

fantastic.

YIKES that is impressive.

A

recent unsealing Eric Clapton "Backless" a non descipt

blues LP from 1978. Side 2 closes with "Tulsa Time" a rather infectous

riff that has been getting my toes tapping for darn near 30 years.

Rockpile "Seconds of Pleasure" will get defrocked tonight.

then

This

wierd live LP with Dave Brubeck, Pat Metheny and BB King live from

Cannes, France would be the next victim. Not sure where it came from.

I pick up some darn weird and diverse software!

[TBrennan]

You forgot to call us kneescraping lickspittles. And headnodding milksops.

[Parrot]

Interesting idea, Thebes. I've been saving this sealed LP for some years now. It just doesn't seem right not to share its opening with a Lithuanian, though, or a kankles fan. I'm not worried about halving its value--I can afford to lose 15 cents--but it just seems selfish somehow.

[oldenough]

AAWW!! Go for it Mr Parrot, i for one would just love to hear a review .[]

[Parrot]

I can tell you this much without even hearing it, that it would be the finest kankle playing I'd ever heard.

[seti]

I have been trying to talk my friend into breaking the seal on one of his Throat Singer s Of Tuva LPs. Very strange sounds.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?articleID=00080AA2-BA32-1C73-9B81809EC588EF21

[thebes]

Poor Pete, could he be making it any clearer. You'll probably have
to trade in the Triumph for a Vespa. Enjoy it while wearing your
white go-go boots.

Alan, that's what I'm talking about, what's money compared to sonic pleasure.

The
flynn is the "Man-of-the Hour". Fully in the spirit of the
moment. He's so manly he'll probably be pouring beer in his cheerios
come morning.

Cheez Paul, you Kankel. go ahead and give it a whirl. Besides, I
think the second chick in from the left in the back row is really,
really hot. Wonder if she still has her teeth.

[Audio Flynn]

I can tell you this much without even hearing it, that it would be the finest kankle playing I'd ever heard.

LMAO

I almost swallowed my tongue reading that.

[scott0527]

I opened this tonight, exposed the cover to intense halogen lights causing severe yellowing, ripped the spine, tore the edges, peeled the banana (thereby thousandthing it's value). It's good though, sounds like a lot of stuff that bands will say they were influenced by so we know how cool they are.

[Audio Flynn]

Poor Pete, could he be making it any clearer. You'll probably have

to trade in the Triumph for a Vespa. Enjoy it while wearing your

white go-go boots.

Alan, that's what I'm talking about, what's money compared to sonic pleasure.

The

flynn is the "Man-of-the Hour". Fully in the spirit of the

moment. He's so manly he'll probably be pouring beer in his cheerios

come morning.

Cheez Paul, you Kankel. go ahead and give it a whirl. Besides, I

think the second chick in from the left in the back row is really,

really hot. Wonder if she still has her teeth.

Actually "pouring" a beer and sipping on a Herradura Reposado.

[Chicago_Pete]

Poor Pete, could he be making it any clearer. You'll probably have to trade in the Triumph for a Vespa.  Enjoy it while wearing your white go-go boots.

You are truly a knucklehead.

Haven't had one of those hurting belly laughs in a while. Thanks!

[ben.]

Silly me. All this time I've been listening to my sealed records without opening them. I was wondering why so many bands sound like Nine Inch Nails sans Lithium.

[thebes]

"You are truly a knucklehead."

It's Thebes on a Friday night what were you expecting, a discourse on DesCartes?

Poor Ben, bet your needle sounds a bit shrink-wraped at present.

right now I hve a barely broken in lp of Root Boy Slim rockin the house. So who else will pop a cherry tonight?

[maxg]

I have to hang my head in shame here - I am sorry to say I own no sealed records - except one which I have 2 copies of and opening it would be churlish. If the other ones dies however - it will remained sealed until such time as I want to hear it and then - poof - there goes the virginity.....

Thing of it is - I made a decision a long time ago that I bought records to listen to - and not to collect. In other words I dont care what it's worth - how does it play. I have ripped open $600 lps before now to listen to them (my Amused to Death cost Tony that much - sealed) along with a Cantate Domino (original Proprius run on thin vinyl - amazingly making it worth more than the thick vinyl version) of similar money. Now they are worth 20% or so of the original cost I guess.

Some time ago Fini had come across a box of operas and such which he was kind enough to send to me. There were 25 box sets in all of which 2 were sealed. I had planned to keep the Norma/Callas sealed - but that lasted a week. Sadly it was a dreadful condition record (despite being sealed) of a poor recording of a not great performance. Can't win em all.

So - having got all that off my chest - am I OK to continue rummaging through my wife's drawers for lacey underwear?

Thebes? Thebes? Why are you running away.....?

[PhilMays]

Alas, all of my LP's were opened years ago...In order to loose my Garter Belt I am willing to open a Sounds of Nature CD which I'm not sure will sound like nature on the TT.

[capo72]

Thebes, you inspired me to zip the shrink-wrap on the Nirvana "Bleach" album i've been saving for about 12 years. I've listened to the CD about 100 times, but this virgin vinyl has a more gritty, emotional sound. Thanx for pushing me to the edge!

Jeremy

[M.A.N.D.I.]

I have several Beatles albums that are sealed, but they are duplicates so I will keep them sealed.