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Thebesis Pontificatus


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Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage

Ya can't go a-swimmin' in a baseball pool

Ya can't change film with a kid on your back

Ya can't drive around with a tiger in your car

Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd

Ya can't go fishin' in a watermelon patch

-Roger Miller

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If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

I gotta start learning more about this from you guys....


You definitely need to be hanging out more. Good news, this type of survival knowledge base and skills are not hard to pick up.

Don't worry Michael every female has all the rules memorized, and they are very willing to teach/force you to get them correct even if it takes 1000 lessons !

I think i am WAY PAST 1000 lessons, don't really ever expect to get out of class.

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