It Can Now Be Revealed-A Tale of The Twins

[thebes]

The hooplah is over, the yard signs are being taken down,
the winners are ecstatic and the losers are sore. But The Twins, those glorious, vivacious, babe-alicious Twins are
back home again.

It all started a few months ago when I picked up the phone
only to hear the distinctive voice of Uncle John on the other end of the line.
He was asking for Tickles. After she hung up with him, she gave me a strange,
sort of excited smile but no information was forthcoming. Shrugging it off, a
day or two later she had packed some clothes and was off to the airport.

Nothing unusual there. The Twins have a seemingly endless
amount of relatives, most of them Uncles (I’m suspicious) and they are always
off to various exotic locals to spend time with far-flung family. What was
unusual, however, was that Tawny was not accompanying her sister. I thought little of it and figured Tawny
would fill me in when she got home that night.
Well Tawny was late in getting home and exhausted by a day spent
advising a working group inside the US Treasury on the latest Wall Street
developments, oh and a fashion shoot.
We were soon slipping under the freshly laundered and pressed silk
sheets I had prepared for her. Sadly, but predictably, there was a small
contretemps. “Thebes, you maroon, what’s this pea under the mattress!” Mad
scramble. “Oh sorry Tawny, it it’s a wasabi nut from some trail mix I was
eating earlier. I’ll have it out in a jiffy.”

With a gentle breeze blowing through the window we were soon
in slumberland.

All was well until the next morning when I turned on the
morning news and there’s Tickles standing next to none other than John McCain!
Well I immediately ducked behind the largest speaker I could find, knowing full
well that Tawny was about to erupt and start throwing various things. Let me
tell you the strength on that woman is amazing. I once saw her toss a 60lb amp
15 feet. Luckily it was a grazing shot, and I only required a few stitches.

For you see, like most twins, The Twins are eerily in sync,
except for politics, where they are total opposites. They had a solemn pact to never engage in political discussions
nor participate in political contests.
Muttering to herself, “she’s broken her word the little bubble-head, I’ll
fix her wagon, etc.” She threw some clothes together and headed out on the next
shuttle for New York City.

Almost two months go buy and I’m getting very lonely
indeed. I’m desperate, so I call an old
friend on Capitol Hill with a scheme to deal myself into the campaign and at
least get to see the girls for a few brief moments. Or so I thought.

The next day I don my painting duds, (paint splattered white
shirt, white-t shirt, white painters pants, white sneakers, white painter cap)
and thanks to my friends assistance get special access to an Obama rally to
launch my plan. I sidle up to the front
of the line just feet from where Obama’s working the crowd. While I’m waiting for him to approach I
start chatting up this cute young thing in a well filled out Obama t-shirt and
blue jeans. I’m not paying enough attention, though, and I’m suddenly startled
by that whiny voice of my arch-nemesis, that scumbag Joe the Plumber!

For you see Marty the Painter and Joe The Plumber go back a
ways. For those of you who don’t work
with their hands, the plumbers are the top of the blue collar feeding
chain. They make gobs of money, never
break a sweat and like to flaunt their status by pulling up next to the our
rusty contractor vans on a job site in late model sports cars.

Joe was one of the more odious members of this trade, had no
license and when his pipes sprung a leak he’d blame it on the other
jobbers. Not only that, his plan was
the same as mine.

Dejected and foiled I headed back to my lonely house and empty
bed. I unplugged the TV for the duration of the contest and took to listening
to obscure Japanese punk artists and rebuilding, unassisted, a complicated
integrated tube amp.

Finally, the election was over and The Twins returned
home. They were tired but had
reconciled. Last night was our first
time back together. We slid beneath fresh sheets lovingly placed by me over a down featherbed a with a down comforter for extra warmth. There was
still some lingering resentment, however, for each was clad in identical see
through teddies, but Tickles was in red and Tawny’s was in blue. I was in the
middle and moments later the lights were turned off. That’s when I heard it, a series of crunches and crackles. It seems I forgot to pick up the crackers I
had been eating. Lights were turned back on and a bit of yelling ensued.
Shortly things were smoothed over and as our 31 toes lay curled together.
(Tawny has six toes on one foot, still can’t figure out how she gets them all
in those tight stiletto heels)

Today all is bliss and tonight we are celebrating. Champagne, (Tickles: Oooh it makes my
nose…), caviar and plenty of tunes to be played through the rebuilt amp. Sure I didn’t use the Forum’s electronic
brain trust to help in rebuilding this monster, but, hey, what could possibly
go wrong.

So what tunes should we queue up for the ladies?

Oh and here’s a picture of us as I fire up the new amp.

[oldtimer]

How about this one from "White Christmas?"

Sisters

Sisters, sisters,
never were there such devoted sisters.
Never had to have a chaperone, no sir
I'm here to keep my eye on her.

Caring, sharing, every little thing that we are wearing.
When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome,
she wore the dress and I stayed home.

All kinds of weather, we stick together.
The same in the rain and sun.
Two different faces, but in tight places
we think and we act like one.

Those who've seen us,
know that not a thing can come between us.
Many men have tried to split us up, but no one can.

Lord help the mister who comes between me and my sister.
And lord help the sister who comes between me and my man.

[seti]

Amy, Thebe's is freaking me out again.

John Denver Take Me Home Country Road.

[oldtimer]

I have the 45 of that if anyone wants it. Plus, you freak out easy!

[thebes]

OT have you observed these young lads ones freak out pretty easily. They just don't have the staying power to keep up with high maintenance gals, take a kicking and still come up licking.

It would appear that I was a trifle optimistic in my rebuilding skills, but since starting this hobby I've invested in Top Notch fire control systems and little damage was done. My trusty old 8b's back in action and playing a batch of singles sounds like just the ticket. Following your advice I've nipped next door to a friends house. She has a small pink suitcase (I think it was a Barbie doll clothing suitcase) which is chock full of hits and tunes from the late 50's on into the early 70's.

Next up Smoky Robinson and the Miracles, "Going to A Go-Go".

[thebes]

I'm shocked! The first pictures of The Twins posted on the forum and they are greeted with a yawn.

Spent the entire night playing my own selections. Didn't go over to well, I can tell you. They both departed the next day for various meetings, transition stuff etc..

However they are back tonight, I've broken out the Single Malt and the 70's vinyl and I'm determined to rock their world. So step up to the bar, toss me a song and let's boogie on down!

[SilverSport]

You sir...are an animal...I tip my hat to you and the ladies...

Bill

[Bill H.]

I think Tina Fey should Sue. Being Compaired with "What's her face".................is an Insult. Tina knows her Geography...................

[thebes]

I think Tina Fey should Sue. Being Compaired with "What's her face".................is an Insult. Tina knows her Geography...................

Please, no mention of the non de plumes they use as they travel through life. These are but shallow aspects , mere chimeras of the gals I know. (they made me say that-Slap!-I mean I really meant it.)

Gotta go, I'm taking them out on the floor for little Texas Two Step.

[twistedcrankcammer]

thebes,

Have you been sniffing interconects again??

Roger

[oldtimer]

Genius is always under appreciated in it's day. Thebes will back me up on this.

[sputnik]

I'm shocked! The first pictures of The Twins posted on the forum and they are greeted with a yawn...................

Thebes, I'm not buying it. Shame on you for teasing the lower class with a specious glimpse of ersatz twins as if we're mere playthings put here for your upper crust amusement. I realize, to a man of your sophistication and moving in the elite social circles that you do, that we might appear to be just a bunch of working class shlubs without access to the internets. But to some of us pawns of the idle rich, that picture you posted appears to be Photoshopped.

All it takes is a quick Google search using the key words "Thebes, jet set, bon vivant" to find this obscure paparazzi photo apparently taken a few years ago during an oil sheik's pool party at an undisclosed location on Capri. I'm thinking that these young ladies must be the real Tawny and Tickles.

[Groomlakearea51]

The six toes..... The stiletto heels.... That's important information there.... Very important.... Heh! Heh!!![6]

[oldtimer]

I'm shocked! The first pictures of The Twins posted on the forum and they are greeted with a yawn...................

Thebes, I'm not buying it. Shame on you for teasing the lower class with a specious glimpse of ersatz twins as if we're mere playthings put here for your upper crust amusement. I realize, to a man of your sophistication and moving in the elite social circles that you do, that we might appear to be just a bunch of working class shlubs without access to the internets. But to some of us pawns of the idle rich, that picture you posted appears to be Photoshopped.

All it takes is a quick Google search using the key words "Thebes, jet set, bon vivant" to find this obscure paparazzi photo apparently taken a few years ago during an oil sheik's pool party at an undisclosed location on Capri. I'm thinking that these young ladies must be the real Tawny and Tickles.

You might be thinking it sput but thebes is dreaming it...

[thebes]

Pissants! Unwashed parvenus. Obviously mid-level white collar suburban breeders, bored with their hum-drum lives trying to tug on the coattails of a genuine working class hero.

To recap, I am a struggling house painter, that's as blue collar as you can get. (Oh sure we wear white, but that's just cause we're the good guys).

Granted, my humble occupation aside, I do move from time-to-time in certain elevated circles, and yes I am sophistiocated bon vivant at home discussing subjects ranging from Kant to "dem damn Yankees". At heart, though, I'm just a struggling sclub, working my brains out to satisy the very expensive whims of that greatest of American dreams, The Twins.

Indeed, I consider it my patriotic calling, to keep the dream alive, lift up the downtrodden masses, spend my seed in defense of this great land and blather on, and on, and on.....

But yes, I do feel privileged, and so my fellow Americans I leave you with these words from another famous America, Louis Armstrong:

I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin......i love you.

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
Theyll learn much more.....than Ill never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world

(instrumental break)

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin...*spoken*(I ....love....you).

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
*spoken*(you know their gonna learn
A whole lot more than Ill never know)
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself .......what a wonderful world.

[twistedcrankcammer]

Pissants! Unwashed parvenus. Obviously mid-level white collar suburban breeders, bored with their hum-drum lives trying to tug on the coattails of a genuine working class hero.

To recap, I am a struggling house painter, that's as blue collar as you can get. (Oh sure we wear white, but that's just cause we're the good guys).

Granted, my humble occupation aside, I do move from time-to-time in certain elevated circles, and yes I am sophistiocated bon vivant at home discussing subjects ranging from Kant to "dem *** Yankees". At heart, though, I'm just a struggling sclub, working my brains out to satisy the very expensive whims of that greatest of American dreams, The Twins.

Indeed, I consider it my patriotic calling, to keep the dream alive, lift up the downtrodden masses, spend my seed in defense of this great land and blather on, and on, and on.....

But yes, I do feel privileged, and so my fellow Americans I leave you with these words from another famous America, Louis Armstrong:

I see trees of green........ red roses too
I see em bloom..... for me and for you
And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white
Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin......i love you.

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
Theyll learn much more.....than Ill never know
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world

(instrumental break)

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky
Are there on the faces.....of people ..going by
I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do
Theyre really sayin...*spoken*(I ....love....you).

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow
*spoken*(you know their gonna learn
A whole lot more than Ill never know)
And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself .......what a wonderful world.

Thebes,

Let it not be untold, that ye best friends also wear white, and carry butterfly nets!!

Roger

[jacksonbart]

Top Notch!

[oldtimer]

Yeah right. People thought Van Gogh was crazy too. Oh yeah , he was.

[sputnik]

My genius is wasted on the sane.

[thebes]

Such skepticism for such a true tale.