eth2 Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 (edited) OK.. So there was an space engineers convention and three engineers (one from NASA, one from the Russian Space program and one from Klipsch) were talking. The NASA engineer was bragging about America being the only country that had a manned landing on the moon and rovers on Mars. The Russian countered with the fact that the Americans now have to hitch a ride with them to go to the Space Station. As the American and the Russia were arguing back and forth, the Klipsch engineer was just smirking. Finally, the NASA engineer said, "What the hell are you smirking about? We didn't even know Klipsch was involved in space exploration." Not missing a beat the Klipsch engineer said, "We are going to land on the sun!" The American and the Russian just laughed saying, "You will burn up before getting half way there!" Still smirking, the Klipsch engineer said, "We figured that out...we are going at night!" And now you know why they stopped making the Forte II. Edited June 2, 2014 by eth2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derrickdj1 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 A man got married in West Virginia and after the wedding night he was furious and took the girl back to her family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 The question to be answered is: Who keeps fish? The German? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 (edited) The question to be answered is: Who keeps fish? The German? Edit for fear of a warning post. Edited June 2, 2014 by CECAA850 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beeker Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 As long as it(fish) dont smell like an armpit i can deal with fish 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fjd Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 (edited) The question to be answered is: Who keeps fish? The German? I ended up populating an excel worksheet until one block was blank and got the same answer. Edited June 2, 2014 by Fjd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 (edited) My wife and I did the same thing only with pen and paper. Wait a minute. Sport? Was not given a sport in tigerwoods post. Edited June 2, 2014 by oldtimer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 (edited) The bartender pulls out a shotgun. The man thanks him and walks out. Why did the bartender pull out a gun and why did the man thank him? I never understood these riddles because there can be any answer. The bartender could have been holding the guy's shotgun. The guy could have been being followed by a guy who previosuly robbed the guy and slept with the bartender's wife. No certainty here. Here is one that I really like, Einstein's puzzle: Let us assume that there are five houses of different colors next to each other on the same road. In each house lives a man of a different nationality. Every man has his favorite drink, his favorite brand of cigarettes, and keeps pets of a particular kind. The Englishman lives in the red house. The Swede keeps dogs. The Dane drinks tea. The green house is just to the left of the white one. The owner of the green house drinks coffee. The Pall Mall smoker keeps birds. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhills. The man in the center house drinks milk. The Norwegian lives in the first house. The Blend smoker has a neighbor who keeps cats. The man who smokes Blue Masters drinks bier. The man who keeps horses lives next to the Dunhill smoker. The German smokes Prince. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house. The Blend smoker has a neighbor who drinks water. The question to be answered is: Who keeps fish? I have a game on my computer that generates these puzzles as a 6 x 6 matrix. I am hooked. No sport here chief. Time to come clean FJD. Edited June 2, 2014 by oldtimer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fjd Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 No sport here chief. Time to come clean FJD. Good eye. I already had a version set up in excel, but was set up differently. Just typed extra line to see answer for the new smoking category and clipped to a jpg to post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 It's all good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fjd Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 What is the difference between hearing a K-400 and being tortured? How many people does it take to modify a Klipschorn? How many people does it take to re-build a network/crossover? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fjd Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 What is the difference between hearing a K-400 and being tortured? A: One is far more painful to your ears. How many people does it take to modify a Klipschorn? A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better.” How many people does it take to re-build a network/crossover? A: Fifty. DeanG to actually re-build it and the others to stand around and say, "since there is no difference in sound, I would have used capacitor ‘X’ rather than those.....” or “why waste time on the re-build, just go active…...” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigerwoodKhorns Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 The question to be answered is: Who keeps fish? The German? I don't remember. I did this a while ago. If you get an answer then it should be correct. The game that I have generates 6 x 6 matricies and gives just enough clues to solve (different clues and matrix every time). It is addictive. If you have Linux just go to the repository and download it. Here is another one. Mystery of Time and Space (MOTAS). Starts out simple and seems kind of boring and childlike. But it gets much more difficult in a hurry. Once you make it through a few levels you will be hooked (don't say I didn't warn you). And don't cheat!! That takes away all of the fun. http://www.albartus.com/motas/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jason str Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 (edited) Frail old man walks into a bar sits down and orders a beer, a drunken rowdy marine walks over and hassles the old man about being small and weak. The old man tells the marine to buzz off and the big man delivers a kick knocking the frail old man off his stool, the big marine says roundhouse kick, Karate. The old man hobbles off to lick his wounds. The next day the old man returns to the bar only to get hassled again by the big man and this time gets hit on his neck, the marine says Knife hand, Tai quan do. The old man once again hobbles off home to recover. Once again a few days later the old man returns to the crowded bar, the marine is once again starting trouble and walks over to the old man to give him another beatdown, the marine loads up and swings but before he knows it he ends up on the floor bleeding from his head, still dazed looks up at the old man hovering over him, the old man says crowbar, ace hardware. Edited June 3, 2014 by jason str Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvu80 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 (edited) A man got married in West Virginia and after the wedding night he was furious and took the girl back to her family? Hey! I'm from West Virginia you know!!! So, what is the definition of a West Virginia virgin? +++ Edit: And I might as well give you a two fer one, free for nothing: Why does a West Virginian have a toothbrush? Edited June 3, 2014 by wvu80 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sancho Panza Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 A girl with 1 tooth who can out-run her brothers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvu80 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 A girl with 1 tooth who can out-run her brothers... What is this, answering both questions with one answer? A WV virgin is a 14 year-old girl who can run faster than her older brother. A WV'ian has a toothbrush so he can brush his tooth. Sheesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 A WV'ian has a toothbrush so he can brush his tooth. Otherwise he'd have a teeth brush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvu80 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 A WV'ian has a toothbrush so he can brush his tooth. Otherwise he'd have a teeth brush. Exactly! +++ Keep West Virginia clean; throw your trash in Ohio. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boxx Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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