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A best insult competition?


Colin

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Speaking of insulting cheers, when playing LSU we'd have a 2-part chant:

L S U......C K S !

"Your momma's so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs."

"I heard the weather was like this when your momma swam out to meet troup ships."

"My Ex wife is responsible for the cold in refrigerators."

Tom

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Ahh Yesss

That boy is so stupid he can raise the overall IQ in a room by leaving. He was so ugly that the doctor smacked his mother when he was born.

Suh I did not say you are an S.O.B.............. I merely pointed out that your mamma was raised on Alpo!

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"Don't get your panties all bunched up!"

"Don't get your panties in a twist!"

"Just, hang onto your Jockey shorts!"

"Geez, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?"

"Is that your face, or did your neck throw up?"

"You're as useless as t*ts on a nun!"

"You're as useless as a screen door on a submarine!"

"You're lower than whale sh*t, and THAT'S on the bottom of the ocean!"

"If my dog had a face like yours, I'd shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards!" -from Klinger on 'M*A*S*H'

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Audio insults:

Youve got the ears of an artillery squad

You know as much about electronics as a ballerina

Your music taste came off a cereal box

Your ears are so shot, if you were a bat, you would starve to death

Your horns are so bright, the dog listens from across the street

Nobody designs their HT with a disco ball:

Your style of stereo went out in the seventies

Polka rotted your brain

Youre so dumb you think classical music is played with cowboy boots and a fiddle

Whenever you think, your VU needles go past tilt

When the lights goes out, your brain shuts down automatically

The dog knows more about singing

Your watch has more RAM than you do

For years, you thought dB meant dis a ball

If you listen real careful, some day you might graduate to tin ear

Youve got so little balls, your wife makes you listen to Bose in the bedroom

Your school was so backward, you played the brown jug for the marching band

When your son mastered Brahms at age five, you made him go out for boxing instead, just in case he was a sissy boy

Youre so cultured, you think line dancing is a formal affair

Youre so poor, your stereo system has a steering wheel, a dashboard and a second row of theater seats in the rear!

Youre such a redneck, you play along with the 1812 Overture with an over/under shotgun

I hope you bias your hot tubes with your tongue!

Youre so dumb, youre soundproofing your HT room with empty Budweiser bottles, a case a day

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Hey Colin. Great idea. I think you`ve inadvertently started another thread. Talk about cutting down an audiophiles manhood. Or womanhood for that matter.

MY Top 10 AUDIO INSULTS:

(1) Those speakers sound like something you stole from a McDonald's drive-thru.

(2) You`re using that for speaker wire? I thought it was connected to the phone.

(3) If you like the sound of your speakers, you should hear my answering machine.

(4) The first time I heard your stereo, I couldn`t keep a straight face.

(5) You have what kind of cartridge? Oh, darn. I forgot to put my records you wanted to hear in my car.

(6) Your amp reminds me of an old girlfriend I use to have. Really heavy, harsh, with no feeling what so ever.

(7) We`re listening to your CD player? I could have swore it was an AM station.

(8) Do we really have to listen to your system? I brought my boom-box.

(9) The last time I heard a sound system like that, I was put on hold.

(10) Is there dust on your needle? Seriously!

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