Heaviest element known to science

[Tom Adams]

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has made a startling discovery in finding
the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,
88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic
mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4
years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but
instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass deposits.
The location of Governmentium deposits is found in every state
capital, with a mother lode in Washington, D.C.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons, but twice as many morons.

[Guest " "]

It appears this new element has much in common with a black hole and a newtron bomb, it consumes mass like a black hole, but like the newtron bomb it's effect is limited, in this case to just consuming money.

[JJkizak]

Outstanding!

JJK

[BigStewMan]

...and i thought the answer was rosie o'donnell.

[Shodrewken]

That's so awesome! Put a smile on my face, funny stuff!

[Groomlakearea51]

[Y][Y][Y]

[dtel]

And I had been telling my kids it was lead there butts were made of.

[fenderbender]

...and i thought the answer was rosie o'donnell.

You just ain't right.....[][][]

I was going to say my ex's arse........

[J.4knee]

One property of Governmentium that was neglected to be mentioned, which also contributes to it immense mass collection characteristic, is the Hoover factor. This characteristic allows Governmentium to suck the energy and productive growth capacity of surrounding elements and components and then it converts it into mass.

The Hoover factor is actually a sophisticated calculation used to determine how many Hoover vacuum cleaners it would take to suck as much as Governmentium.

[Speedball]

I like it![]

[Marvel]

Reminds me of what an engineer friend of mine, Chad Cox, wrote in th emid '90s:

Cox’s Law of Morons

A fundamental particle of nature with
a very short half-life, except when in proximity to a large number
of other morons. Then the wave-nature of the moron is exhibited in a
mutual reinforcement which is destructive to surrounding matter.

While the half-life of a substantial
mass of morons is long, exposure to a highly energetic environment
speeds the decay into more fundamental particles, the bum quark and
the unemployon. Some of these particles recombine with other
particles, some continue to exist in this state for a very long time,
while others disappear from the universe completely. The Fundamental
Law of Conservation of Incompetence assures us though, that new
morons will appear spontaneously elsewhere in the universe.

[winchester21]

Rosie??? LMAO- GREAT!!!!!!!

You guys all missed it

It is the iron in the frying pan which wifey uses on your head when you roll a set of heritage speakers in the front door.

[Groomlakearea51]

You guys all missed it; It is the iron in the frying pan which wifey uses on your head when you roll a set of heritage speakers in the front door.

[Y]