J.4knee Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Sorry to hear of your trials, please vent at will. My Father in-law passed away from Lymphoma- actually the chemo was worse for him in the end the cancer used it as a "host" to feed off of. You mothers decision is a absolute impossibility for anyone to understand who does not have to make the decision themselves. She has to choose her way to go out. I cannot fathom the weight of such a decision to make but she has to make her own journey. All you can do is love and support her. Know this though you are not alone. You an y our family are in our prayers God Bless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxg Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Heartfelt bestwishes from me too. You are going through hell at the moment but all I can tell you is that it will pass and the pain will subside. Stick with it and make sure you get to spend as much time with your mother as you can - not to mention your wife of course. Here's hoping an upturn in your fortunes is around the corner... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Dee Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, I am so sorry to hear this news of your mother's illness. That is alot to bear in the midst of other things, too. I'm glad you have brought your concern to the forum, and from reading the posts above, you have got alot of support and caring in this place. Putting one foot in front of the other right now and in the season ahead will be, no doubt, something that will happen with a power that exceeds your own. That's not something I'm telling you, it's what you already know to be true. You're doing that right now. It is also, however, rugged and ragged. Keeping your mother and your family before the Lord. thoughts from another Survivor of the $h!t Creek Canoe Club: Up the creek and back...no paddle! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LonestarBlues Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, my prayers go out to you and your family. Remain strong and be there for your mom and family through this trying time. Respect your mom's wishes if she chooses not to go through chemo, radiation etc. Get yourself down to Florida muey pronto and tell your mom that you love her. Alot of us men are reluctant to express our feelings verbally with our family and loved ones. I empathize with what you are feeling and going through right now. I lost both of my parents to cancer-my mom in 1985 to terminal stomach cancer. And my dad in 1995 to terminal pancreatic cancer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ssh Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, That really sucks. I, too, relate from personal experience. My dad died of brain cancer, & it was hard to see a strong man weak.God bless. SSH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnalOg Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Steve, Sorry to hear the news, nothing I can say would make things all better. There is a plan for us all and we can only let it take its course, things always work out for the best. Stay strong, keep thinking about the joy you can give and receive today with the people you love and all else comes together. If you need to talk you got my number. Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Mobley Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Well, when the stuff is getting deep it is always a time to remember that ODAAT thing. Heavenly Father, I thank you today for being a good God of all understanding and mercy. I ask today for mercy for Smilin's mom, and I ask that You help him to find the strength and courage to to blow off the old "I must be strong " guy thing and just cry for a couple hours. Father, I remember your Word that promises comfort for those who mourn, And I remember it doesn't promise much to those who won't admit how much it hurts. Also Father I ask that You would help smilin choose not to use the things that are not good for him. Thank You Father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Mobley Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 siars, looking at your post I have to admit that words just fail me sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avman Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 smilin'-your 'extended family' wishes you find strength and comfort,as i have here. not much to add except my prayers to what has been already said. avman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Robinson Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, a lot of supportive people here and a lot of positive thoughts. I'm sure you're reading them, still amazed that this could possibly be a current topic for you. Like your mom, my dad's cancer two years ago had metasticized considerably as well, and he knew it before bringing it to the forefront or medical attention. No way did he want to go down the chemo road. His final weeks were without pain (some meds, but light) and he died peacefully. The chemo would have been hell on earth, according to his physician. This is really, really hard stuff, losing a parent. But it's also a final lesson that they teach us ... that is, how to do it with pride and grace. It's okay to be scared, but in the end, there will be peace. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of my parents (my mom died of ALS in 1990) ... I miss them and wish they were here to share life with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lshannon Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin Our prayers are with you and your family. - Lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai2000 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, very sorry to hear about your mother. May all of you find the necessary strength for the times ahead of you. Wolfram Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Speaker Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, 20 years ago this month, I was in a similar situation with my grandmother. She was (is) a very, very, very religious woman and refused medical treatment and instead relied on the almighty to take her on the right path. Being a young guy, I had a difficult time with this and insisted she get medical treatment until my older wiser brother told me the most important thing is to respect the wishes of the person involved. What do we have if not our convictions, thats who we are. I dont know if this will help but if you turn the pain away from yourself and realize this is about your mother, youll open yourself up to seeing the way things are meant to be. It still hurts. Hang in there buddy, have faith, youll make it, were all in the same boat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avman Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I have been banned Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Well i've been tossing around the idea, but strangely this little experience kind of helped me make up my mind on the new purchase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j-malotky Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Steve I can't add any more to what our other good friends here have already said... I too will keep your family in my familys prayers. JM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I have been banned Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 The sounds out of the horns has a loss of high frequencies with a coloured and uneven, forced quality. With well-recorded music the sound is shut in. the system as a hole is overly bright with severe colouration artefacts and a loss of homogeneity. Not good for music, not totally bad for movies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I have been banned Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 The sounds out of the horns has a loss of high frequencies with a coloured and uneven, forced quality. With well-recorded music the sound is shut in. the system as a hole is overly bright with severe colouration artefacts and a loss of homogeneity. Not good for music, not totally bad for movies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Landau Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Enjoy the B&W's. They'll sound great with that Denon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndyKlipschFan Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 In Jan 2003 my dad was walking the beautiful beaches of sunny Florida with my mom hand in hand. We had talked about the business continuation plan for the next five years to transfer it to me over Christmas, so he could spend more time with her and enjoy the grandkids. He had a pain in his side. He didn't think too much about it that day, but had it looked at the following day when he still felt it too. My Father had a very rare form of cancer. Gallbladder cancer. It strikes only 600 people a year...and only 10 protocols of treatment and a lousy 12% success rate to date. He was a non smoker, non drinker, and basically in good shape. I was floored. After a very risky but what was necessary surgery called a whipple... He was given 3 months max.. By the end of July of 2003 he was walking a mile a day, feeling good, and close to being off of Chemo in Aug. I thought with daily prayers maybe he was one of the lucky ones. By late Sept he had a clean bill of health down below. (Although still in recovery, it looked great!) By November he had a re occurrence of cancer in 2 places. Up till Dec 11th of last year I had great hope, but the results looked awful and he held on till Jan 4th, 2004. Looking back it is still fresh (As you can imagine my eyes are filled with tears writing this too, but you have to go on.) I did have a gift if I can say it from God... I was able to be with my dad till the end. I was able to have the "I really love you dad, and I am proud of you, and thank you for everything you have given me and taught me in life too" conversations. I have worked "with my dad" as I used to say rather than "for my dad" since Sept of 1989. He was my best friend, and mentor. I named my son, born Feb 19th, 2004, just weeks after he passed away after him. Sometimes, late at night when I have to change his diaper and feed him, I feel my dads presence somehow. (I am sure he is laughing with me and cheering me on too.) My point is Life ... goes on. You make the most of what you have on this planet, love so dear the ones your close to you, and pray for everyone else too. It still sounds like you have the time to also express your thanks to those in your family too, especially your wife and mom. (I can't imagine people who suffer a loss of a loved one from say a car accident when you just saw them that am for instance.) So I guess this is my gift for you too. Tell the ones you love them that are important in your life. Let them know you appreciate them, as well as the things they have done for you too. Trust me, it not only feels good, it also brings some closure whenever the time is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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