Guest Anonymous Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 The last 9 months have been so trying, filled with challenges that I have had to face in a different way than I used too. But today I just recieved the results of my Mothers biopsy report, and she has officially been diagnosed with Breast, Bone, and Liver cancer. She does not know it yet and will be told in the pm tomorrow. I am just sick about this, and just want a an avenue to vent vent. My mom said yesterday that if she tests positive for cancer, she will not take chemo, just let it take its course. Right now she is at my Brothers in Florida, and I do not trust the doctors there as much as at Nortwestern in chicago where my wife ran part of the hospital. My mind is going thru a lot of crap right now, and has been for a while. I really feel like I am being tested by my higher power. I am writing this on the forum to try to feel a bit better, and hopefully resolve some internal issues and conflicts I am having with myself. You guys have been like an extended family for quite a while now, seeing me thru times both good and bad. I thank you for that. I am so frigging hurt right now trying to balance my feeling with so many emotions, pain, fear, confusion, love, hate, but most of all trying to be strong for my mother, father, family, and myself. At the same time I am dealing with my wifes health issues, all the while trying to do it without the use of any mind altering substances(including alcahol)man oh man isn't life a *****. Any way thanks for letting me vent a bit, I gotta run and Talk to my dad who is in a state of shock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnA Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I'm sorry for you and your troubles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnysal Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I am very sorry to hear of your mother´s diagnosis. As you said, be strong. Try to keep positive, many of us have had to learn to live with cancer (I am sure others will chime in, I won´t bore anyone with my experiences) and the best advice anyone ever gave me and the best results I achieved personally came from maintaining a positive mental attitude. Fight the tendency to lament the hand that has been delt, appreciate life, and fight like the dickens to spend as much time together as possible. AND fight the cancer, it can be beaten, fight it any way you can, in your own way....but fight. warm regards, tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Champagne taste beer budget Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I'm sorry to hear of this, but will say a prayer for your mother, your wife, you, and all your extended family. Be strong, buddy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deang Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 O.K. Steve -- here we go. You're Mom is being called home, and she knows it. The cancer sounds like it has metastasized, and she probably already knows that she doesn't want to spend what time she has remaining here having her quality of life reduced to zero by aggressive chemo and surgery. You somehow have to come to terms with this, and respect whatever she ultimately decides. It hurts, but what you need to do right now is be there for her. So, you drop whatever in the hell you're doing, get on a plane, and get your *** to Florida. The time that is left is for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Disc Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Sorry to hear this. I lost my mother to Lung Cancer late last year. She decided to undergo the chemo and radiation treatment. Hard to say if it extended her life of not, but it did make her days pretty unbearable. My mother kept her cancer a secret from the family until the very end. She was in Flordia and we found out in the very late stages about it and though too that it was in remission. Next thing I know she is going fast and I had to hop on a flight to be with her. I got to spend about 4 hours with her before she went and in that time she was not able to speak and was barely conscious. My advice, spend what ever time you can with her while you can. tb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huhuru Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Steve Our family will keep you and your family in our prayers. Huhuru Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pierceb Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Very sorry to hear the bad news Steve. Yes, life is a *****. I have been dealing hell for the last week or so as well. The same day you and I were trying to work out a deal on your 272, my wife and I found out her younger brother drowned in a canoing accident. Her family is very close, so it hit very hard. It all seems like a nightmare that you just wake up to every day. There doesn't seem to be much that anyone can say to make it better, it is just something that time will have to heal. Best wishes to you and your family. -PB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skonopa Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 ---------------- On 4/20/2004 12:17:33 PM Huhuru wrote: Steve Our family will keep you and your family in our prayers. Huhuru ---------------- Same here. All I can do is just offer my prayers and support for you. Like somebody mentioned, sounds like a trip to Florida is in order for you to spend time with her. To be honost, I honostly don't know how I could handle this in the same situation. I love my parents dearly and the though of losing them is still a scary feeling to me, but I know it is something that I'll eventually have to face. Again, my prayers go out to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3dzapper Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Steve, I am sorry to hear this latest news in your continuing saga. Your job is to be there for her and your father as well as your wife and kids. It's tough. Feel free to vent to relieve some of your burdens. Godbless. Rick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheltie dave Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Steve, I grew up in a doctor's family, so I witnessed the full passage of life from an early age. It is a fragile and precious time we spend on Earth, so be free to tell your Mom you love her any chance you get. We will all be praying for a miracle, while we also pray for peace and pain free days for your Mom and Dad, and your extended family. It is a hard thing to face our mortality. Liam has no surviving grandparents, as my Dad passed two weeks after we received the news that Colleen was expecting. In our visit the day before Dad unexpectedly passed, he treated Colleen like a goddess, waiting on her hand and foot, making her take a nap and threatening to keep her in Peoria for the next nine months. To this day(and for the rest of her life,) Colleen will tell Liam how Gramps made her laugh and tried to be a father hen. Get a couple sheets of paper, and write down one of your favorite stories about your family and Mom, and bring it down to her. Find some of her favorite books, photo albums, and other favorites. Fill your folks time with the love that you and yours have basked in all your lives - let it reflect back to them with the warmth of the universe they have created for you. While you are at it, do more of the same for your wife. And realize that your struggles are because your life has been filled with wonderful people and love. You are a rich soul because of this love, so don't be afraid to spend it - it will bring preace and comfort. Make sure when you visit, take lots of photos when you can. You have let us share in some of your joys and passion, thanks for letting us share in praying in easing your pain, Steve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garymd Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 We're praying for you and your family Steve. Not much advice I can give that hasn't already been given. Call me anytime if you need someone to talk to. Take care and God bless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leok Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Steve, This is a very hard thing. If your mother is able to choose her path, it is right to let her take the lead. This is her final rite of passage. If you can, along with other family and friends, accompany her. My father died of cancer two years ago. Chemo and radiation bought him time to see family members for the last time. It became obvious the path was one way, and he stopped treatment. His wife I stayed with him for the remainder of his journey. It is a rite of passage for you too. There are people who are familiar with this process. Let them help you. Leo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ben. Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Steve, My best wishes to you and yours. You might consider contacting Hospice. They were a favorite charity of my Grandmother while she was still with us. They do great work helping people in your situation. Best regards, Ben Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boomac Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, It has been 29 years since my mother passed on. She had been diagnosed with complications very similar to your mother's. That was the hardest time in my life but I think that it prepared me for anything else that might come along. Dean's advice is good and I encourage you to take it. In the mean time, know that many thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark1101 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin', Sorry to hear this. Your family is in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny TN Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Sorry to hear that... I know the feeling all too well.. my mom has breast cancer as well and just finished chemo 2 weeks ago. All I can say is best of luck to you and your family. I will tell you my mom is 73 years old and did quite well after the surgury and chemo.. surprised me for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Landau Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Steve, Sorry to hear about your mom. Stay strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edster00 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Our prayers will go out to you and your family as well. IMHO, the best you can do for your mom is stay strong and support her wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cwm Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Though not really part of the group here I was touched by the pain and anguish in your post. Speaking as one who has literally watched two of my friends die (too young) and gently stroked my father's forehead until he slipped away, I know to a certain extent what you are feeling. I will say this, though far from a religious man, I cant help but believe that we are more than just "biochemical batteries". Additionally, the responses from your friends here have brought tears to my eyes................ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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