TheEAR Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 It was funny,but scaring the crap out of kids is not a great way to make them stronger. Scaring kids or any living being often is stupid and makes them dumb. One joke once is fine,repeat jokes just shows the joker is a limited person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobbyT Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 That was the tactics of a typical bully/punk father. Not a life lesson to toughen up a kid, just something to terrify him and ridicule him. If someone did this to my daughter they would spend the remainder of thier days in a vegetative state. For those who have resorted to name calling the people that think this is not funny(whiners comment comes to mind) you seem to be showing the same mentality as the person that made the tape. You've already lost the debate if all you have left is name calling. But if it makes you all sleep better at night then by all means continue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Anyone ever stop to think that maybe the camera quit rolling so the step father could console the child? This was mild compared to some of the stuff I suffered. I turned out fine. That's a matter of opinion, Rick...[] Tough guys: Call me a wuss. It's OK. But do that to a kid in my presence, and I'll kick your a$$. You'll be better for it, too.[] Oh CMon now fini, we all know that I'm the person we all strive to be. [] [] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 You know what would be really funny?? To watch the video of the kids real dad showing the jerk stepdad what it really feels like to terrified for his life. That would be hysterical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fini Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 I must temper my last post. I doubt I'd kick anyone's a$$, since I've never done that in my 50 years. I guess if I had to I would (after all, I have two teenage daughters, and boys come a-sniffin' around ;^), but it'd be a rare occurance. I have my ways of getting people to see my pov... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 I have my ways of getting people to see my pov... LOL... I'm lucky, I have boys. Non the less, I see the opposition's view to this. It was kind of cruel. But, on the other hand I see it a little differently than most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranjith Posted February 16, 2006 Author Share Posted February 16, 2006 Its quite interesting to see everybody argue over this. I do agree that it was probably a little over the top, but only slightly. But I don't think it will really affect this kid all that much in the long run. On another note, I do agree with Jeff that parents need to toughen up their kids. Is it just me or has the "sensivity" scale of society shot skyward in the recent years. When I was a kid, we kids fought over things all the time and it was purely our competitive nature. It never gave any of us an inferiority complex or made us insecure, it made us want to try harder and be better. I think kids need to be taught that when they're shot down, they need to get up with more intensity and passion and to accomplish what they were after. Not be comforted into accepting being the 2nd best at something. I'm a firm believer in the saying "No Pain, No Gain" Think about it, you've learnt your hardest and most valuable lessons when you've been in rough waters. Being happy-go-lucky is all fun and games, until the reality settles - the reality that the strongest survive. Theres so much competition in today's world... to make a sports team, to get admission into a univ, to get a job, etc etc and only the toughest will survive. Every single guy cousin of mine is older to me, I've been at the receiving end of many pranks, bullying around and such. It only made me wanna get back up everytime and show them they can't push me, I'm tougher than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 ................The old "reason-with-your 2-3 year-old" thing is what has resulted in tens of thousands of kids on Ritalin, claiming all their unruliness and slothful behavior is due to attention deficit disorder. A-D-D my a$$. I could fix that A-D-D in 10 minutes, and they'd pay real good attention from then on. It wouldn't take many beatings, either. That's the beauty of it. [] It's pure conjecture to say that "the old reason-with-your-2-3-year-old thing" is what screwed up so many kids. Couldn't the hyperactivity and unruliness also be caused by rotten parents who scare their kids for the fun of it, or just plug them into the TV or video games and never just play with them or read a book with them? These parents then have the gall to turn around and blame whatever school system they are in for the way the kids turn out. It's all about maturity, setting a good example, consistency, and personal responsibility with kids, you don't have to beat them or ridicule them. C'mon there's no question about it - that kid should never have been forced to see that. He's still young enough to believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. That was child abuse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Matthews Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 But think about it. We see that the "proper" way to teach kids is to be "open," to be their "friend," to not "get angry," to "work out the problem" with reason. Poppycock! No wonder we see all kinds of aimless 20-year-olds who should be making a life for themselves, living at home while doing nothing and saying "I don't know what I want to do. Boo hoo..." All the while, they find time to go play/party with their friends. And to think parents have patience with that. If, by the time a kid is 5 or 6, they don't have reason enough to solve these kinds of issues on their own, there's a problem. Yes, kids DO learn reason that young. They learn by serious consequences during age 2 or 3 - ones they respect but get over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 "It's all about maturity, setting a good example, consistency, and personal responsibility with kids, you don't have to beat them or ridicule them." Amen. For the time it really matters, these are the lessons that will have sunk in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Matthews Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 "It's all about maturity, setting a good example, consistency, and personal responsibility with kids, you don't have to beat them or ridicule them." Amen. .... except for when, despite all your maturity, consistency and responsibility, they still do something very bad. Then, you let 'em have it.... Sometimes, it's right a parent gets made enough to give the impression to the kid that they're "out of control." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Agreed Jeff, but that is simply an extension of the prior statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 But think about it. We see that the "proper" way to teach kids is to be "open," to be their "friend," to not "get angry," to "work out the problem" with reason. Poppycock! No wonder we see all kinds of aimless 20-year-olds who should be making a life for themselves, living at home while doing nothing and saying "I don't know what I want to do. Boo hoo..." All the while, they find time to go play/party with their friends. And to think parents have patience with that. If, by the time a kid is 5 or 6, they don't have reason enough to solve these kinds of issues on their own, there's a problem. Yes, kids DO learn reason that young. They learn by serious consequences during age 2 or 3 - ones they respect but get over. I agree with your points and we may just be arguing for the fun of it. Of course a kid needs to learn to respect the boundries set for him/her and there must be prompt consequences. But I think it's important to emphasize is that inflicting fear is not they way to teach personal responsibility, respect, and courage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Matthews Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 But think about it. We see that the "proper" way to teach kids is to be "open," to be their "friend," to not "get angry," to "work out the problem" with reason. Poppycock! No wonder we see all kinds of aimless 20-year-olds who should be making a life for themselves, living at home while doing nothing and saying "I don't know what I want to do. Boo hoo..." All the while, they find time to go play/party with their friends. And to think parents have patience with that. If, by the time a kid is 5 or 6, they don't have reason enough to solve these kinds of issues on their own, there's a problem. Yes, kids DO learn reason that young. They learn by serious consequences during age 2 or 3 - ones they respect but get over. I agree with your points and we may just be arguing for the fun of it. Of course a kid needs to learn to respect the boundries set for him/her and there must be prompt consequences. But I think it's important to emphasize is that inflicting fear is not they way to teach personal responsibility, respect, and courage. Yeah. How did we get from the video to this? Spooking the boy is certainly not going to be a main contributor to his developmental success in terms of responsibility. It will put a little "crust" on him, though, which is often helpful in trying/intimidating situations. Sure, there are many ways to put that crust on him, but what was done is not so horrid. I wouldn't make a habit of it, but if he was made scared enough in his young life to pee all over himself, he'll better be able to hold in the pee down the road. You know what I mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Either that or he will pee all down the road....what the hey, life is full of surprises. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theryugobuddy Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 I don't think this has anything to do with toughening up your kid. You toughen up your kid by teaching them how to deal with negative things that happen to them, and striving to do the right thing in the face of this often unfair world. You support them-- and you don't stop at 5 or 6 years old. This video is all about the stepdad--he was so desperate for attention that he used a trusting child for his kicks of being popular on the web. Selfish piece of dirt-- That's not tough love-its "look at me - I found a sucker"--what a jerk! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Yeah. How did we get from the video to this? Spooking the boy is certainly not going to be a main contributor to his developmental success in terms of responsibility. It will put a little "crust" on him, though, which is often helpful in trying/intimidating situations. Sure, there are many ways to put that crust on him, but what was done is not so horrid. I wouldn't make a habit of it, but if he was made scared enough in his young life to pee all over himself, he'll better be able to hold in the pee down the road. You know what I mean. Yeah, I know what you mean, but there's plenty of time for getting crusty as a kid grows older. Let them just be kids so they can explore and enjoy a stable world for awhile. The harsh lessons will come and if they are secure and happy, they'll cope just fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Matthews Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 I agree, but would caution to maybe be a little more assertive with them, even when young. We've all seen at least a few kids who were the panty-waste types, who couldn't handle pressure and were afraid of a challenge - stuff like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Yeah, the self confidence to take on a challenge comes from a sense of security, belief in your ability, and knowing that you can endure the consequences. I don't think that a screaming monster leaping out of a computer screen at an unsuspecting child teaches anything but fear and insecurity. I think that kid was just too young to know that it couldn't really hurt him. What kind of person is that stepdad for doing that and thinking it was funny. I doubt that he had any high motive for developing that kids confidence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 My son is practically 19 years old. Jeff, how old are your kids? Enquiring minds want to know, just so we all know where we are coming from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.