Tom Adams Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 As some of you might remember, about 10 months ago my wife & I separated. Since then we've had many conversations and saw each other often. However, she was still very torn about whether to reconcile or not. Ar first I developed a real "all about me" attitude and constantly pressed her for a decision as well as prayed only for me. Won't go into all the details but at some point I finally quit ignoring God's voice (he can yell pretty loud at times) and realized that I needed to be praying for her - not me. Afterall, I knew what I wanted and that was her happiness. And if that were true, then I should be asking God to help her decide what she wanted. So began many months of not only me, but friends as well, praying that God would help her make a decision. And finally He did - unfortunately it wasn't the decision I would've liked her to have made, but one I can accept. Don't get me wrong, I don't like it, but if she truly feels in her heart that getting a divorce is what she wants, then as much as it breaks my heart, I need to set the bird free. As an aside, I just want to say that dealing with this whole separation thing would not have been possible without two key components - the first and most important, was the deeper and closer relationship I've started to develop with God. I say started for I believe that my relationship with Him will be an on-going thing 'til the day I die. And oddly enough, it was because of the separation that made me get completely honest with myself and the significant deficiency in my spirituality. I know this is making no sense to probably most of you. The bottom line was that for me, I could no longer go on justifying how I was living knowing that at the end of the day, I knew what I was doing was wrong. So, one Sunday I finally gave in to God's persistant voice and was saved. Baptism, for me and on that day was the most powerful experience I've had in my 51 years on this planet. And since that day, the separation hasn't been so bad and my life has been a bit more orderly. And those things I did that I knew were wrong, I no longer do or have the urge to do. I share this with you not in an attempt to try and convert you, but there are some folks that will read this and understand - and there are some folks that will read this and hear a message that they have been ignoring for too long. The other component that has allowed me to deal with the separation are the many folks that have truly cared about me and been there when I needed support or a shoulder to cry on or offer advice and even when I needed a good swift kick in the ***. Some of these folks that cared are on this forum - and you know who you are and I thank you. Other folks are friends & family and, oddly enough, my Oncologist who was there for me at my lowest of lows when I wanted to check out. There's no way I could ever repay any of those who've been there for me. But I shall try as I move forward by being there for those who need someone to lean on. So, my house goes on the market and it's time to again refocus on the future. Sadly, my HT room must remain intact in order for us to realize any money out of the house. Which means the Heresy's (that have been with me since new in 1979) must go as well as my 1974 vertical horn Cornwalls and all the audio/video equipment. Yeah - it's a downer, but I built a HT room once, so I can do it again. So here's my question....... I'm thinking about replacing the Cornwalls with a pair of Synergy SF3's in order to at least be able to keep the Cornwalls. Is this a good idea or should I just forget the sentimental BS and buy a new pair of Cornwalls once I get back on my feet? Thanks for lsitening and thanks for any advice. Tom (hmmmmm......guess I need to change my avitar. [] ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldbuckster Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I have no comment on your stereo options, kinda' not important, what's important is You. I am very sorry about what has happened, and wish I could offer you an answer, but I can't. What I can do is wish you, Good Luck, and Best Wishes to help you through. I know I write this all the time, but Life is like a roller coaster ride, ups, downs, you just have to ride it out......Hang in there....your not alone............... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wrench722 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 No matter what happens now you have God on your side. What more can you ask for? [] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xdetroitx Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I have dealt with much adversity in my own life. And, 99% of it I have caused. That was what had to happen for me to ever regain a life worth living. I had to admit that my lifes decisions put me where I was. I then had to decide that since my lifes decision put me where I was, who was going to run my life. I have surrendered control of my life to police officers, judges, and corrections officers. I knew that was not the direction I wished to turn to for guidance. I had to have someone who was patient, kind, loving, and all powerful who would never do anything to harm me. That one was God. I cannot begin to list the things I have overcome since turning my will and life over to the care of God. It was not always easy, and at times I wondered if He was trying to kill me. But, I hung on in faith that He knew what was best for me. Every single time it has worked out better than I could have dreamed. It is not what the world teaches.....But true victory can only be achieved by complete surrender. Ill keep you in my prayers as will my wife. Feel free to email me anytime with any questions or if you just need someone to talk to. Sounds like you are on the right track. Mike xmikeharperx@gmail.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Blacksmith Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Tom, I know exactly what you are talking about. I have been saved for the last 33 or so years. There will be many ups and downs and you will have many moments of doubt as the wicked one tries to decieve you but have faith and trust in the Lord. It is AWESOME that you have made this decision and I will always be there for you to talk to when you need it. Just email me anytime. As to the speakers, for me personaly, If there was the money to do it, I would. Good Cornwalls are hard to come by. Hold whatever you have with an open hand though as we don't own anything, it all belongs to God and it hurts much less to loose something when it never was yours to begin with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Me Loves Khorns Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Best of luck to you. I have been thru many hard times in life, hit my own personal bottoms. But for my reliance on God, I can't imagine what life would look like now. I was raised in the church, knew faith in my heart, but it was not until I bottomed out that I truly met God on a personal basis and learned how to depend on Christ. When life was easy, didn't really need God, I thought. Went thru hell, refound God, trying now to hold on to that relationship. Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j-malotky Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Tom I am happy and sad for you as I too have gone through a divorce. You do learn who your real friends are..... It always bugs me when I see my friends make the same mistakes, not learning from their divorce. I know that you will be coming out of this a better, stronger man. For that, I am happy for you. I will pray that you remain strong in your faith as you head down this bumpy road. JM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I don't know anything about HT and it sounds like you're trying to stay on the high road here..........but why not keep the Cornwalls and Heresys and just replace them some Bose or some other such speaker. At this point, do you really care how good the system sounds? A more recognized brand might even be prefered by most home seekers. Good luck with everything. Things always seemed to work out better in the long run for my friends that have gone through separations and divorce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wstrickland1 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I have a pair of LaScalas, a receiver or amp/pre-amp and a dvd player you can use indefinitely, and I am local to you more or less. I have a couple of sites I look after down there. Let me know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrestonTom Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Tom, The HT stuff really does not matter.... The good news is that you are on a good path. I trust that things will work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael hurd Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Tom, sorry to hear that, in the last 15 months I myself have started over twice.... I can feel where you are coming from man. I also too went on a "me" kick, having done everything for someone that turned out to be never enough. If you want to chat, pm or e-mail me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arky Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Tom Really glad you have found the Lord. It shows a level of committment to make that post. We can all do better. Peace be with you brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arky Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 I have a pair of LaScalas, a receiver or amp/pre-amp and a dvd player you can use indefinitely, and I am local to you more or less. I have a couple of sites I look after down there. Let me know. That type gesture is one of the main reasons why my internet time is spent on this forum. Nice offer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuzzzer Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 My best friend and his wife separated last July and she recently started divorce proceedings. He really wants to get back with her, but after all that she's done to him since they've been separated its hard to understand why. I guess after being with someone over 11 years your heart grows a fondness that even extreme decisions and actions can't destroy. Its been very hard to see him getting more and more depressed, especially since she's restricted his visitation to his kids to 1 weekend every other week. They're about 8 and 13, both boys. They need their Dad. I'm very sorry that you're involved in a similar circumstance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Adams Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 I have a pair of LaScalas, a receiver or amp/pre-amp and a dvd player you can use indefinitely, and I am local to you more or less. I have a couple of sites I look after down there. Let me know. You know.....this incredible offer and all the other kinda words in response to my thread should not surprise me for since I've been on this forum (which has been some years now), I've seen this same kinda out-pouring of sincerity and help and concern and generousity. However, being the recipient of all this is a very humbling for I think to myself, "These folks don't know me from Adams' cat, yet they would do this for me! Wow....." Each of you with that type of giving/caring in your heart makes God happy and it should reaffirm that despite what we hear on TV every day, this world is filled with people who truly care. I'm so proud to be a part of this forum and your words have brought a tear of happiness to my eye. And for the record, I didn't start this thread looking for sympathy. I just felt comfortable in sharing what's happening in my life. Thank you seems awfully inadequate, but that's all I have to offer. As for the Cornwalls.....what the heck they're just a material possession. Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coytee Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Tom, I'm sorry things might not have worked out like you would have hoped in the best of worlds, however...whenever I've been in a 'bad situation' (however it may be defined), a passage of an old Moody Blues song always comes to my mind. "Every happy ending, needs to have a start" (Moody Blues: You can never go home, Every Good Boy Deserves Favour) With me remembering that specific line, regardless of what has befallen me, I've always been able to gather things up and get things rolling again. I DO think it's a very correct statement. It's only in hindsight that we might realize that we've had a happy ending and be able to reflect back as to where it might have started. For your Cornwalls and other goodies... You're not too far from me. C'mon up & give the Jubilees a listen. You just might not miss them Cornwalls much after you replace them with their bigger (plug ugly) brothers! If your avatar means you've got a streetbike, come along springtime weather, it might be a beautiful drive to come my way. As I'm sure you probably know by seeing it done for others... it's a sincere offer. [] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Adams Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 Tom, I'm sorry things might not have worked out like you would have hoped in the best of worlds, however...whenever I've been in a 'bad situation' (however it may be defined), a passage of an old Moody Blues song always comes to my mind. "Every happy ending, needs to have a start" (Moody Blues: You can never go home, Every Good Boy Deserves Favour) With me remembering that specific line, regardless of what has befallen me, I've always been able to gather things up and get things rolling again. I DO think it's a very correct statement. It's only in hindsight that we might realize that we've had a happy ending and be able to reflect back as to where it might have started. For your Cornwalls and other goodies... You're not too far from me. C'mon up & give the Jubilees a listen. You just might not miss them Cornwalls much after you replace them with their bigger (plug ugly) brothers! If your avatar means you've got a streetbike, come along springtime weather, it might be a beautiful drive to come my way. As I'm sure you probably know by seeing it done for others... it's a sincere offer. [] I agree with you Coytee....even with sadness in front of you it always helps to focus on the future and realize that there will many happier days ahead. And to that end, I've already made a "To Do" list for this year. And on that list is the goal - "Motorcycle Trips". There's been several "theme trips" (like visiting Civil War Battlefields) I've wanted to take for some years and this year some of those trips will happen. Can't promise a trip up your way, but I will definitely keep you in mind. If I recall about where you live in Tennessee, your place would make for a good one day ride. Hmmmm.......my brains gears are turning. [] Thanks Coytee. Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wstrickland1 Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 I have a pair of LaScalas, a receiver or amp/pre-amp and a dvd player you can use indefinitely, and I am local to you more or less. I have a couple of sites I look after down there. Let me know. You know.....this incredible offer and all the other kinda words in response to my thread should not surprise me for since I've been on this forum (which has been some years now), I've seen this same kinda out-pouring of sincerity and help and concern and generousity. However, being the recipient of all this is a very humbling for I think to myself, "These folks don't know me from Adams' cat, yet they would do this for me! Wow....." Each of you with that type of giving/caring in your heart makes God happy and it should reaffirm that despite what we hear on TV every day, this world is filled with people who truly care. I'm so proud to be a part of this forum and your words have brought a tear of happiness to my eye. And for the record, I didn't start this thread looking for sympathy. I just felt comfortable in sharing what's happening in my life. Thank you seems awfully inadequate, but that's all I have to offer. As for the Cornwalls.....what the heck they're just a material possession. Tom Tom, I know full well you didn't come looking for sympathy. You're down right now just like we all get at on point ot another. I feel sorta bad offering you material items when that's not exactly what you need. It's just that right now (and I emphasize "right now") I have more stuff than I need. I know speakers/gear is just "stuff" but it is something that brings you joy so if you find yourself needing it I will share my surplus for as long as you might need it. I do go to Ft Stewart, Savannah and Bluffton/HH/Beaufort quite a bit so just let me know....seriously. Billy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wstrickland1 Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coytee Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 I see you're a bit south of Savannah. My wife & I are heading to HH & Bluffton this week. While there I'm hoping/planning on meeting up with Chris Robinson & hearing his system. I'd love to see how that big Danley can put out. I guess you're about 7 hours from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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