colterphoto1 Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 10 years ago today my little Mom, Marilyn Kay Colter, passed away from this life. It was much too soon, she was only 59. Dad had preceded her by 13 years. I became a 40 year old orphan and the Earth wobbled on it's axis that day as her soul gently stepped off. Her funeral was Christmas Eve. It made the holidays very tough, nearly unbearable for a number of years, but I'm getting better. I miss you Mom, especially at the holidays. Thanks for all the fun Christmases. I've got some of your old ornaments on the tree and playing the Chipmunks right now. It makes me feel like I'm safe and sound in the house on 62nd street again, just a few blocks from where I live now. Brother Steve came by today to help me work on the Shop, it was good to be with some family and not feeling so all alone today. Rest in Peace and God Bless you Mom. Friends, if you have family you rarely see or that you're emotionally distant from,please tell them that you love them and give them a big hug this holiday season. You never know if you'll get another chance. Enjoy them while you can. Michael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSport Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 I'm right there with you buddy...Mom's been gone 26 years and Dad 13 years and I miss them every day...moreso when the Holdiays are here...people with big Families just don't understand...spent last night with my baby brother...just turned 40...saw my sis and big brother...it was nice...lil bro's wife...kids and his friends and inlaws...I always tell those who still have lots of Family around...Cherish these moments...I toast a glass of water to you my friend...you are never alone when you have family...be they blood relations or not...YOU have Family...Merry Christmas... Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigStewMan Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 This isn't the most enjoyable club to be a member of...my mom was killed on Thanksgiving Night (1968) by a drunk driver. She was only 33 years old. Dad died six months later at age 35. So, I can feel your pain having to have a usually joyous holiday sprinkled with horrible pain. I was only 8 years old...and in many ways it was easier back then. Perhaps, it's because I don't feel old (48) but, I know that I've already lived many years longer than my parents did. Hang in there my friend. God has blessed us with memories--and I'm sure that you have many. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tommyboy Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 First off, great post! Family is especially importantn to me around the holidays. I haven't been able to spend a single holiday season with family; of any kind, in 7 years. (military life sort of makes it hard to do) so this year, I'm making sure I spend as much time with family as possible! Luckily, my sister and her family of 6 live just 28 miles away. Sort of crazy how things just fall together. Her husbands in the Navy, so with both of us in the Armed Forces, it's been near impossible to "team up" for the holidays. She just moved here from Washington state, and I just moved here from England..................... So please everyone reading this thread, spend some time with your family! You may not always be ablle to. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone! What better place to post this? Christmas music sounds very nice on Klipsch speakers.................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deang Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 That's rough guys, I can't even imagine.[] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvel Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 I'm with ya, Michael. Next Sunday, the 28th, will be three years since I lost Barbara. The time passes quickly. The house is full of so many memories. I haven't wanted to turn it into a museum, but I also haven't wanted to wipe away all traces of our 30+ years together. Life was good then, but life is also good now. Family will all be together. It's sweet... Bruce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Adams Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 I'm with ya, Michael. Next Sunday, the 28th, will be three years since I lost Barbara. The time passes quickly. The house is full of so many memories. I haven't wanted to turn it into a museum, but I also haven't wanted to wipe away all traces of our 30+ years together. Life was good then, but life is also good now. Family will all be together. It's sweet... Bruce Wow Bruce. It's been 3 years already??? I remember when you told us of her passing. [] There's never a good time for someone to pass away, but when it happens around a holiday it just makes things just a little bit sadder IMHO. At 52 I feel incredibly fortunate that God has not asked for either of my parents who are 87 to come be with him. Call me selfish, but I still haven't experienced all that I want to with them, so if God can hold off a bit longer, I'll be very happy. Sadly, my Mom's kidneys have given up and her short term memory is going pretty fast. She's on dialysis and is in pretty good spirits but is in a nursing home due to the needed medical care. The good news is that she gets furlows (as she calls them) now which means she can spend the night at home for a day or two before having to go back to the nursing home. My wife & I along with my oldest sister and her husband will be with my folks for Christmas. Dad said that all Mom talks about is seeing all of us for Christmas and not being in the nursing home for a few days. Since my Mom initially rejected dialysis, I have this really strange feeling that she's just doing what she can to make it through the Holidays. And I'm pretty convinced this will be the last Christmas we get to be with her. Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fini Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Thanks for posting this, Michael. I know how tough it's been. My Mom's gone 3-1/2 years, and my Dad 21. I miss 'em every day. Thanks especially for the reminder to love and appreciate family still with us. I've been feeling sour about our Christmas Eve plans (I won't go into it), but you've genuinely helped me to appreciate and love who I'll be with. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colterphoto1 Posted December 22, 2008 Author Share Posted December 22, 2008 Thanks especially for the reminder to love and appreciate family still with us. You're welcome Gregg. This is my 'amends' to my Mother. She was in bad shape from COPD for three years, many months in hospital, rehab, or nursing home. I'll always carry guilt for not spending more time with her, taking her out, talking about the important things in life, not just 'how's the weather' stuff. I promised after her death to help others to not have the same feelings by counseling them to enjoy the family that was in their lives, to value them and spend quality time while they can. I don't want any of my friends to live with the guilt I feel every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvel Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 This book is excellent, and good to read, a long time before you think you will need it. Final Gifts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Dee Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Michael, Thanks for posting. You are offering wise counsel for folks to enjoy the time they do have with their families. Life is precious and short and it goes by so fast. We say, we don't know who will be here tomorrow. Truth be told, we don't know who will be home for dinner tonight. This is my 'amends' to my Mother. She was in bad shape from COPD for three years, many months in hospital, rehab, or nursing home. I'll always carry guilt for not spending more time with her, taking her out, talking about the important things in life, not just 'how's the weather' stuff. I promised after her death to help others to not have the same feelings by counseling them to enjoy the family that was in their lives, to value them and spend quality time while they can. I don't want any of my friends to live with the guilt I feel every day. My brother, I didn't know your mom. Carrying your message to others is a good and worthy thing. I do have a hard time imagining that she would wish this daily burden of guilt on you. I do know of your desire to forgive others and see others forgive to live reconciled with each other. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself. God, I believe, does not desire his children to carry a burden such as that. Let the Lord carry that one. In your history with your mom, you did the best you could with what you had at the time. With more life experience you realize you'd do something different now. OK, good to know. You have learned from the life experience you've had since then. That's making good use of the resources you've got now. Even after forgiving yourself, you can continue to offer the wise counsel you have acquired with considerable pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arky Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 Very nice thoughts Dee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colterphoto1 Posted December 22, 2008 Author Share Posted December 22, 2008 Thank you Dee. No wonder you're a minister. You truly know the right words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacksonbart Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 A prayer for those who can't be with us this holiday season for what ever reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted December 22, 2008 Moderators Share Posted December 22, 2008 Your a good man to have around Daddy Dee, you always know the right answer ! [W] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted December 22, 2008 Moderators Share Posted December 22, 2008 A prayer for those who can't be with us this holiday season for what ever reason. Good idea there JB..........I guess because it's the holiday season you had to post a serious post, well you picked a very good one [Y] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 It's a bad club to belong to but I'm there as well . Not only the hollidays but the month of December is hard for me and my family . On Dec 5th 1976 my 17 year old sister was killed in a car accident . I was only 11 at the time but remember it like it was yesterday . Really tore my family up , especially my mother who never recovered from it . Then , 4 years later on December 17th my mother was killed in a pedestrian accident ; 2 days before her 48th birthday . My dad waited an extra day just so we did not bury her on her birthday . We are a strong , tight family that still enjoys Christmas and remember those who are no longer with us . But as far as I am concerned January can't come soon enough . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkside Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 It's a sad time to remember when a loved one passes, especially in theholidays, when we're all supposed to be joyous and happy. My unclerecently passed in a car wreck about two weeks ago. He took care of my95 year old grandmother on a daily basis. She's still recovering, butit will be hard for her once she realizes he's no longer there. It washard for all of my family at our annual Christmas get together onSunday. No one wanted to talk about it, but the thought will foreverlinger whenever December inevitably comes around again. That's why it'salways nice have friends and family, to help each other through toughtimes...And thanks JB, you're absolutely right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gonzp Posted December 23, 2008 Share Posted December 23, 2008 Great thread Michael. My Pop's passed away 4 years ago on the 22nd of Dec. Mom passed 4 years before Pop on Good Friday. Both parents lost on major hollidays.... It keeps the hollidays in perspective for me. My Mother lived her life, to make good memories with her family and friends and my wife Rosalie has really imulated her well. I share everyones sorrow, prayers and good memories of those who have passed. Merry Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peshewah Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 I have a son I have not seen in a long long time. I can't tell you how much I miss him. Merry Christmas Jake, my son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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