oscarsear Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 When I was a teen I held 2 part time jobs, lettered in gymnastics and carried a low 'B' average in HS. I was still considered lacking by my parents. At 53 I remarried a wonderful woman in her late 40's and inherited her teenage son. Never have I known a more useless piece of humanity. Essentially, if he does not want to do it, he doesn't. He floated though HS graduating with an emphasis on basket weaving. At 18 he can't run a dishwasher. Let me be clear about that, He can put dishes in it and he can turn it on, he doesn't know it requires soap to work (seriously). He is not allowed to use the media room any more. He can't use the trash can (anywhere). He stuffs all of his trash into the couch (the $4K couch). He eats only what he wants which is limited. Thus my rant this morning. I cooked a whole package of bacon yesterday so that we could have some this morning (we get up around 4). This was a package from Costco so it was no small volume of bacon. He ate it all last night (he lives at night and sleeps all day). "Kevin like bacon, yummmm". He can't find work and jobs we've found him won't have him back. His room is a petri dish. His car is a petri dish. On the upside, he does not do drugs, smoke or drink. Girls do not waste their time with him. Best of all he enlisted in the Navy and will be gone by next Aug. He's gonna die in basic. Rant over... I feel a little better. Thanks for your patience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 "He's gonna die in basic"..... Just think. The revenge will be sooooooo sweet when you get the first letter or phone call telling you just how much he misses home..... and you tell him, "Thas' life brother" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Dee Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 well, his enlistment in the Navy is encouraging. August seems along way out for induction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macho Nacho Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I love bacon, hate doing dishes, love the ladies but they don't love me. Hey can I move in when he moves out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 well, his enlistment in the Navy is encouraging. August seems along way out for induction. He's a "DEP Dude"..... Delayed Entry Program. They have to go to the recruiting station once a month and do PT, etc. until their ship date. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.4knee Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Boot camp will wake him up some but it is not the harsh awakening it once was, with the advent of recruit training timeouts. When I went through it many a year ago within two days you did what your were told so the maniac in front of you would shut up or yell at someone else, you developed into a team within week. My understanding is the mental stress has been diminished quite a bit, a big move away from the make or break you approach. But still it ain't no picinic. In the Navy he will learn to clean for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsear Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 Yessiree, he is on the delayed entry program (DEP). Want to know why? Because he still has his braces on. They were supposed to come off late last year but he was ascared and blew off the appointments. His teeth over adjusted and now they have to repair that. Just another pathetic saga. His mom got overly protective of him in her divorce. Being the smart kid he is he figured out how to play her like a well tuned violin. After he graduated for HS she figured out that he was a waste. No great intelligence, no study skills, no street moxey, no physical abilities, lazy and a complete slob with picky eating habits. He was just coddled into a full blown moronish buffoon. We have had plenty of set-to's over this lad and I just gave up. Literally, this very day the young man would not know which way to turn a screw nor which screw driver would do the job. And he's going to be a machinist mate. I am really afraid that he may not survive basic. I know, I know... I am back to ranting. You have no idea what I've been through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macho Nacho Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 No great intelligence, no study skills, no street moxey, no physical abilities, lazy and a complete slob with picky eating habits. He was just coddled into a full blown moronish buffoon. Your quite the mother hen. No doubt your nurturing skills behind him how can't he succeed. Whoa dude you need to mellow out or just beat the $#@% out of him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndyKlipschFan Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Wooo hoooo can we have a kids gone party? "Time Outs" in the Navy sucks... (I hear less in the Marines) And your right... They grant them.. I am like WTF are you gonna do during war time experiences.. Ask the other side for a time out??? Anyways....... I have a nephew that went through it.. it is NOT the bootcamp we all know and understand. That said.. to him... It will be like hell and he might come around. I had a nephew like this as well. He found a best friend in the Navy and now has a respectible job in Chicago. Kids sometimes do turn into OK adults.. Give him time. Cause face it.. If he doesnt get it now... He will never change! And sorry to all you 18 year olds who feel your not a kid...YOU ARE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJkizak Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Only two things to worry about in the correspondence you receive---If you read the words "Mickey Mouse Platoon" or "AWOL" reply saying you have the wrong address. JJK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I feel sorry for him, he never had anyone around to beat his a$$ when he was growing up. Sounds like a severe lack of respect for himself as well as others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macho Nacho Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I feel bad for Oscar, he is one messed up dude. His own son did not fair much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsear Posted February 10, 2009 Author Share Posted February 10, 2009 Well Nacho... I've got 4 sons. They are all adopted. One decided to be a criminal, but he at least had gumption. 2 are exceptional. And then there's Kevin. But he played the divorce victim and mom fell for it hook line and sinker. I kept telling her that she was doing the kid no favors. Kids are a challenge. I hope the best for all of my boys but I can't force them into conduct. Kevin will figure it out or he won't. For now he just frustrates myself and his mother. What is really sad for Kevin is that he ruined a time in his life that should have been full of challenges, good times and memories. Now, like all of have had to do, he will head into adulthood and the grinder of life. I dunno maybe he will look back on his adolescence with joy? Anyway I don't discount him. If he does knuckle under, grow up and apply himself he's got what it takes mentally to make something of himself. I suppose when you become a parent you will do much better. I am humbled with your advice. I feel bad for Oscar, he is one messed up dude. His own son did not fair much better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rplace Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Give that kid a cigar or a pack of smokes[] <ducking> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merkin Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Hey Oscar I feel your pain. Like Clinton biting my lower lip and holding my thumb up. I have a Kevin also. Maybe it's the name. Mine isn't quite as bad as yours but has some of the same traits. Room was like a pit, car was trashed and couldn't think any farther ahead than the nest 15 minutes. The best thing he did was get a job at the local grocery store and learned to work a little. He is now in college and learning how to study and not party. Last semester was a mess. He dropped calculus since it was too hard and that just left him with 12 hrs. couldn't even pull a full load. We had a come to Jesus screaming session about 3 days before Christmas. I told him he could just as well take that tuition money throw it in the toilet and p**s on it. Then flush it away because that is what he was doing with his life. Problem is is that he is a smart kid and never had to study in HS. He actually scored the same on his ACT as his mother who is a physician and got straight A's through college. He did say he saw my side and was going to try better this semester. It's either that or back to home and work and community college. Hopefully he will find a goal or pursuit that motivates him. I don't believe my yelling at him will ever do it. I think the armed services wouldn't be such a bad idea, but his mother is a bleeding heart liberal and would go balistic if I ever suggested it. I never served, but I saw a lot of kids my age get straightened out on life by serving. Thoughts are with you, You do your best and toss them out there like a roll of the dice. Hopefully you don't get craps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Me Loves Khorns Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I have 4 great boys, but it can be very hard sometimes indeed! It is very difficult to know how hard to push kids at times. My oldest just turned 15. Some of you met him before. He is a great kid, very loving, fun to be around, etc. But, trying to get him to do his homework can be extremely hard sometimes. I don't want to come across as a hard a$$ with him about it all the time, but I don't know that it does him good just not to bring it up at all. To me, it is hard to find the balance. At times, I just want to be his buddy and be 'cool' about that stuff. other times I think, well, he needs to buckle down and work harder. I am lucky though, he is not drinking, smoking, drugging, sexing it up or anything. As an ob/gyn, I know good and well what other kids his age are up to. But, I know that since he is in the 9th grade now, his grades really count now. Harder sometimes to be a parent than I thought it would be.... Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 I used to beat myself up over the conduct of my children untill I realized that they weren't clones of my wife and myself. They are individuals with their own set of ideals, issues, IQ's, abilities and personalities. You can raise 3 children up identically and have 3 completely different adults come from it. The only thing you can do is show them right from wrong, set a good example, administer fair discipline, try to give them a good work ethic and love them unconditionally. At that point, you've done your job as a parent, the rest is up to them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hifi jim Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 he played the divorce victim and mom fell for it hook line and sinker. I kept telling her that she was doing the kid no favors. My neighbors kid (he's 34) still lives at home, mooching off mom and still playing the divorce card all these years later. She doesn't see it and continues to keep giving. When she heads south for the winter (with her current boyfriend), the house goes to shit and he quits his job (or gets fired for not showing up). I always know when his mom is about to come home in spring, lots of cleaning and suddenly he has a job. Some people just don't grow up. On the other hand, I had two friends from high school join the Marines and I was sure they'd be eatin' alive. Both survived and came back a couple of years later more on top of their game then I was. There is hope for Kevin yet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJkizak Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 The Marines have a knack for getting your attention and focus. JJK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Matthews Posted February 10, 2009 Share Posted February 10, 2009 Poor kid. Sounds like the coddling has been so bad that he has no concept of being thrown into a pool because there will always be a boat nearby. How can you change that at age 18 when it's gone on for 18 years? The best I can figure is no matter how you try, all that will do is alienate him and make him go hang with other lost birds of a feather. You're stuck, Oscar! And just when you think August can't come quick enough, wait 'til he gets discharged. It's back to mommy. It's a built-in character trait at this point, unless you get very, very lucky. If he's an instant leader in the military, bingo! Otherwise, if he's just another "middle-of-the-heap nobody cares to know" kind of guy when he gets there, I don't predict much change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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