eth2 Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) I have been reading many ads for audio equipment lately. I feel I am now qualified to develop a template for all to use as they struggle to write the "perfect" ad. Feel free to add to this template as appropriate. Hi - my name is (fill in the blank), I have a (fill in the blank) which I am (a) considering, (b ) rarely thinking about, (c ) reluctantly [pick one] placing up for sale. Normally, I would NEVER have even thought for a second about selling this, but I am (a) moving and my new place has no room for the (fill in the blank), (b ) retiring and planning on living in a small Airstream, (c ) planning on buying an integrated/separates (one only) system, (d) divorcing and want to stick it to my wife by selling this way below cost [pick one] This (fill in the blank) has seen almost no use as I am (a) deaf, (b ) a long distance truck driver who is never home,© hate music, (d) belonged to my grandmother who only used it on Sundays to play church music [pick one]. This (fill in the blank) is very rare and I am not sure I have seen more than 5 in my life, and certainly never in this condition (do not specify what "condition!") Due to the (a) size, (b ) weight, (c ) fragility of this item, I will not ship. Local pick-up only at (a) Walmart parking lot, (b ) under the 29th street bridge at midnight, (c ) at your house. [pick one] Payment must be made in advance by (a) cash, (b ) travelers check [pick one] signed to "bearer." You will never find another (fill in the blank) like this. Hurry up before I come to my senses and change my mind. NOTE: THIS IS NOT A SLAM AT ANYONE SO PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME HATE MAIL Edited May 6, 2014 by eth2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Youthman Posted May 6, 2014 Moderators Share Posted May 6, 2014 That's pretty stinking hilarious. Well said...and pretty accurate too 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Earl, you must write for c-list. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fjd Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) (fill in the blank) doesn't work, but it's an easy fix. (fill in the blank) is missing (blank) but you can find it on eBay. If you are reading this Add, then you already know what these are. (fill in the blank) will blow you away. No low ballers please. I've learned what (fill in the blank) go for on eBay, and you are getting a deal. (fill in the blank) is in mint condition but you can see some scratches and marks from normal using. (fill in the blank) is in good shape for its age. I'm asking (fill in the price), which is a bargain. (fill in the blank) is broken but still worth (fill in the price) though, because they are rare. I'm putting (fill in the blank) up for sell. Due to hardship, I'm saleing my (fill in the blank). Edited May 6, 2014 by Fjd 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
down_2_earth Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 this should probally be in the lounge or other general discussion area since you are actually not really selling anything in this thread. That's why we started the alerts area to keep non actual items for sale stuff by members out of here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackerboxpalace Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) That is too funny! I just read the following this afternoon on Craigslist: “I am not an audio salon and do not have time to let tire kickers sit in my living room to audition the speakers. The speakers are not in my current system, but I will hook each one up for you to see that they both work.…. I will also "consider" a trade for a two person Kayak in great condition. I am only interested in a trade for a kayak and will not consider any other items in trade." Something about the imagery of an audio salon combined with tire kickers.... I hope this thread persists, wherever it needs to be. Edited May 6, 2014 by crackerboxpalace 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Pics available on request. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eth2 Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 this should probally be in the lounge or other general discussion area since you are actually not really selling anything in this thread. That's why we started the alerts area to keep non actual items for sale stuff by members out of here. Thank you for your input. My response: If you are reading this Ad, then you already know where it belongs. It may be in the wrong place, but it's an easy fix Normally, I would NEVER have even thought for a second about putting it here, but I am moving and my new place has no room for the post, 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 That's why we started the alerts area to keep non actual items for sale stuff by members out of here. Define "we". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eth2 Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) Definition of "we." Tonto and the Lone Ranger were on a noble mission. For two days they held off a attacking horde of hostile Native Americans, but were hopelessly outnumbered. As the dawn of the third day broke, the Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Well. old friend we are down to our last five bullets and there are hundreds of hostiles out there gunning for us." Without a moments hesitation, Tonto looked the Lone Ranger in the eyes and said "What do you mean 'we' White Man?" Please! This is not meant as a demeaning or insulting comment towards Native Americans. As I am Irish, English, Italian, Dutch feel free to modify the joke to encompass one (or all) of those nationalities. I tried and it did not work out for me. Edited May 6, 2014 by eth2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sancho Panza Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 "I said a Posse." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sancho Panza Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 "Tonto. Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Boudreaux." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eth2 Posted May 6, 2014 Author Share Posted May 6, 2014 "Tonto. Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Boudreaux." Damn! Why didn't I think of that?? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvu80 Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 CL Reply Form: "do you still have your (blank). i can only offer (insert $200 less than you are asking). can you ship overseas?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Budman Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) 3 month member gets slammed by a 3 week member. doesn't get any better than that WEEEEEE Edited May 6, 2014 by Budman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hornmiester Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 (edited) 3 month member gets slammed by a 3 week member. doesn't get any better than that WEEEEEE Budman: Glad you are so easily amused. It makes for a simpler life. Hau ab! (Stickin with my new pal) Edited May 6, 2014 by Hornmiester Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boxx Posted May 6, 2014 Share Posted May 6, 2014 Perhaps... my friend... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigerwoodKhorns Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 That's why we started the alerts area to keep non actual items for sale stuff by members out of here. Define "we". Keep a mouse in your pocket. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USNRET Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 My new speakers: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boxx Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 My new speakers: I can still remember hearing John Wayne's voice on these speakers.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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