oldtimer Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillyBob Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 I enjoy life. it is difficult to regain that sense of discovery as a kid seeing things for the first time. that I do miss. I am still very easily entertained. ["simple" hahaha] SteveMartin said it "Let's get small!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceptorman Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 3 hours ago, twistedcrankcammer said: I've seen to many old ladies with late stage Alzheimer's role their poop into little balls and either stuff them up their who-ha or eat them to think that no memories is a good thing! One of the two worst ways to die from my personal perspective! Never wish that on anyone! This should cheer anyone up 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedcrankcammer Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 4 hours ago, Jeff Matthews said: In an Alzheimer's unit? Jeff, No, I am a Cardiac Nurse, but I have worked Alzheimer units in the past. Rog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedcrankcammer Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 8 hours ago, Ceptorman said: This should cheer anyone up It gets better! At the end stages of Alzheimer's, if you live that long, you can look forward to not only loosing the ability to speak, but also the ability to understand speach. They need turned and repositioned every 2 hours because they might not be able to turn and roll out of their own feces or urine, or roll over to brevent blanching all the blood out of an area, which can cause very nasty and deep pressure ulcers that can also become easily infected from fecal contamination, etc. They loose so much memory that not only do they not recognize you as their care giverr, but I personaly believe they don't even know what you are. When you try to turn and reposition them sometimes, since they cannot speak any more, they will let out a gutteral scream and will try to claw, bite or slap you. I truely believe this is back to the very basic instict for survival and self preservation and they are just in a terrified state. As previously stated, one of the two worst ways that I can personally think of slow death. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coytee Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 8 hours ago, twistedcrankcammer said: It's a depressing Disease. Most families don't come around towards the end of the disease, so most people have absolutely no idea what goes on then. (isn't directed at you Roger, just trying to take your comment about depressing (which it is) and show it can have some good memories) BigStewman, I mention the next only because it's a new memory for me. My mother passed away this past December 25th. She was in an Alzheimers unit but was probably one of the higher functioning people there (we could take her out to lunch although... for the last couple years, I kind of wanted to latch a retractable leash on her so I'd have positive knowledge of where she's scurrying off to (like a 6 year old might)) None the less... Kind of a bitter sweet memory for me: Mom loved to eat at Waffle House so that was a must stop any time I visited with her. We went there, ate and as I was standing at the register to pay, I had a foreign lady behind me. I was tapped on the shoulder. As I turned around, saw her and she said "thank you". I had no clue what she was talking about. She went on to say that I have inspired her. HUH???? She then explained that she had been watching me interact with my mother while we were eating and how patient I was with her. Said she had never seen someone so focused and involved their parent It renewed her faith in Americans that we weren't all a throw-away society. Frankly, it was a bit of an odd conversation but once I heard what she said and reflected on how I was acting, she was right. Mom was my whole focus (and I guess it showed). So now, Mom's gone... we have some funny memories of her calling the police, telling them she's being held captive. When the police arrived, she was standing at the curb with her lady friends that my sister had dropped off at Walmart (earlier in her disease). Here stood 4 ladies, shopping bags in hand and several police with blue lights on when my sister then arrived to pick them up and Mom pointed and said THERE SHE IS!!! Cops pulled sister to the side prepared to have a tough conversation with the Perp....but the picture didn't fit what they were expecting in a hostage situation (after all, would the perp leave the hostage alone with her girlfriends for an hour to shop??!) Oh, and all the gals were wearing their assisted living home's ID tag around their neck. We have the memories of the mother we all grew up with & loved, memories of the stranger (mom with alzheimers) we all knew and loved and I have what has turned out for me, to be a blessing memory from that stranger who noted and took to heart, how I was treating my mother. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coytee Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 4 hours ago, twistedcrankcammer said: It gets better! At the end stages of Alzheimer's, if you live that long, you can look forward to not only loosing the ability to speak, but also the ability to understand speach. They need turned and repositioned every 2 hours because they might not be able to turn and roll out of their own feces or urine, or roll over to brevent blanching all the blood out of an area, which can cause very nasty and deep pressure soars that can also become easily infected from fecal contamination, etc. They loose so much memory that not only do they not recognize you as their care giverr, but I personaly believe they don't even know what you are. When you try to turn and reposition them sometimes, since they cannot speak any more, they will let out a gutteral scream and will try to claw, bite or slap you. I truely believe this is back to the very basic instict for survival and self preservation and they are just in a terrified state. As previously stated, one of the two worst ways that I can personally think of slow death. Roger, it takes a special and caring person to do some of the things you do / have done, depressing as they may be. Thank you. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillyBob Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 I applaud your work, too. there is one point missed ... How much/what does the patient feel/know? If the patient is "blissfully ignorant", it is our personal feelings that are a problem. We see them as suffering and they know ... what? and since this is a "music" forum, why does music seem to spark life when so many other stimuli fail? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnJ Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 @BigStewMan You're prone to tangential philosophical thinking* sometimes That's way above my pay scale. Fresh air or smog? Too much time on your hands maybe? I can't seem to get enough and I'm on permanent vacation (shave when I feel like it). When I can't get my roommate (mom) to cook the good stuff I have to do that too! We butt heads because kids are supposed to leave before they're 20. I did and I'm back, had a partial-full life, earned my keep, bought expensive toys (two wheeled and four wheeled) for my other half (out of my league... should have listened to my gut!) then literally got ill and died then "kicked out of bed" for a new financial enabler. Life's any cliche you could think of and more! F `em if they can't take a joke. Life's a bit%#, then you die. Its all that but...we have to be integral to it We played kangaroo rummy for three hours last night listening to classical coming through the tv and we're only up to the eighth hand. Had some bread pudding and milk..... almost fun! Yep, when she goes home I WILL BE ALONE.... no question about it. Not sure I'm prepared, but gotta try. If you'd take something that I use from a special person I knew when I was a kid, I'll share it with you. It's a very simple premise for behavior, now you're a thinker and that's great but don't take it to the hilt. Don't mind-f___ yourself, can any good come from that? When I was little and told I had to be the "man of the house" and look after my mother, being bright I did worry about stuff sometimes. My great-grandma Short told me "Don't borrow trouble." when she saw a look on my face that did not belong on a ten year old. That's it. Peace be upon you bro! * I just made it up, thought added was "diverging from a previous course" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceptorman Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 6 hours ago, twistedcrankcammer said: It gets better! At the end stages of Alzheimer's, if you live that long, you can look forward to not only loosing the ability to speak, but also the ability to understand speach. They need turned and repositioned every 2 hours because they might not be able to turn and roll out of their own feces or urine, or roll over to brevent blanching all the blood out of an area, which can cause very nasty and deep pressure soars that can also become easily infected from fecal contamination, etc. They loose so much memory that not only do they not recognize you as their care giverr, but I personaly believe they don't even know what you are. When you try to turn and reposition them sometimes, since they cannot speak any more, they will let out a gutteral scream and will try to claw, bite or slap you. I truely believe this is back to the very basic instict for survival and self preservation and they are just in a terrified state. As previously stated, one of the two worst ways that I can personally think of slow death. I know all about it. My Mom survived Alzheimer's for 16 years, did remarkably well for about 14 of those years. I give the credit to my parents being extremely positive, likable people, they had a zest for life, that's why she lasted so long with it. My Dad was the strong one, he had 7 children pleading to him about putting her in a nursing home. He finally caved and admitted her on a Friday, took her out of there on the following Monday, he didn't like the care she received. When he said "I'll take care of you until the day I die"....he meant it. She spent the last year in a hospital bed in the home he built 65 years ago. She died with her whole family by her side, about 50 people were there. I was holding her hand when I heard the "death rattle". My parents were simple country folks that treated people nice their whole life. At her funeral, the director was counting how many people showed up, he stopped counting at 750! I still don't know what any of this has to do with Steve's thread....sorry about the hi-jacking BigStewMan. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedcrankcammer Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 2 hours ago, Coytee said: Roger, it takes a special and caring person to do some of the things you do / have done, depressing as they may be. Thank you. Richard, Thank you and I hope what I said wasn't to painful. I would love to see you again, is there any Danger of you showing up at Hope? Rog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedcrankcammer Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 1 hour ago, WillyBob said: I applaud your work, too. there is one point missed ... How much/what does the patient feel/know? If the patient is "blissfully ignorant", it is our personal feelings that are a problem. We see them as suffering and they know ... what? and since this is a "music" forum, why does music seem to spark life when so many other stimuli fail? Good point on music therapy. Think about before you become blissfully ignorant or even later when you are terrified. It has to be scary as hell when you are still with it well enough to know what is to come. I myself am to much of a coward as I would swallow a bullet in a heartbeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedcrankcammer Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 24 minutes ago, Ceptorman said: I know all about it. My Mom survived Alzheimer's for 16 years, did remarkably well for about 14 of those years. I give the credit to my parents being extremely positive, likable people, they had a zest for life, that's why she lasted so long with it. My Dad was the strong one, he had 7 children pleading to him about putting her in a nursing home. He finally caved and admitted her on a Friday, took her out of there on the following Monday, he didn't like the care she received. When he said "I'll take care of you until the day I die"....he meant it. She spent the last year in a hospital bed in the home he built 65 years ago. She died with her whole family by her side, about 50 people were there. I was holding her hand when I heard the "death rattle". My parents were simple country folks that treated people nice their whole life. At her funeral, the director was counting how many people showed up, he stopped counting at 750! I still don't know what any of this has to do with Steve's thread....sorry about the hi-jacking BigStewMan. So sorry about your fokes. Only thought that the reality of what loosing all memories is really about might shed some perspective on how selfish that notion might be to those that care about you. Kind of like suicide. Rog 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceptorman Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 15 minutes ago, twistedcrankcammer said: So sorry about your fokes. Only thought that the reality of what loosing all memories is really about might shed some perspective on how selfish that notion might be to those that care about you. Kind of like suicide. Rog Thanks.....my Dad is still here, but was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 3 years ago. He's 88, still in great shape physically, just gets confused. He still lives in their house, but we have a live in nurse 24/7. The sad part about all of this is I have a 66 year old brother that was recently diagnosed with it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedcrankcammer Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 Just now, Ceptorman said: Thanks.....my Dad is still here, but was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 3 years ago. He's 88, still in great shape physically, just gets confused. He still lives in their house, but we have a live in nurse 24/7. The sad part about all of this is I have a 66 year old brother that was recently diagnosed with it. My Moms sister has it, but trust me on this, there is nobody more deserving. My Mom is 83, and is taking care of her from 3 hours away as she has financial power of Attorney over her. Her only child, a Son, has medical power of attorney and by every way conceivable, is a real S.O.B.! There are so many factors that figure in, of course heredity is one, but there is also a sizeable increased risk in people who take the flu shot, especially the more times you take it. It isn't the virus, it is the preservatives and heavy metals in it. Love your family as much and often as long as you can, and don't be one of those who desert them when they no longer recognize you. Always remember that they didn't have a choice to stop remembering. Rog 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-js- Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 Rog - @twistedcrankcammer - I don't know that I've interacted with you in my short time 'round here. reading only this page - you are a caring, compassionate individual. we need more like you in all walks of life. so preceding credit to @Coytee but I agree with what he said. kindest regards to all of you who posted already - this page alone @Ceptorman @JohnJ and I have probably missed many others. getting old can be such an awful way to go. my Mom died in '15 after doing her best to deal with Alzheimer's for 4-5 yrs or so before that. it was hard on us, her children, to see what it did to her. she had always been a kind hearted soul and remained that way. so I know a little about what you folks describe. my heart goes out to all of you, having been there & done some of that. sometimes, it's really such a shame to reach the "golden years" of life only to then have something like that take hold of you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceptorman Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 21 minutes ago, twistedcrankcammer said: My Moms sister has it, but trust me on this, there is nobody more deserving. My Mom is 83, and is taking care of her from 3 hours away as she has financial power of Attorney over her. Her only child, a Son, has medical power of attorney and by every way conceivable, is a real S.O.B.! There are so many factors that figure in, of course heredity is one, but there is also a sizeable increased risk in people who take the flu shot, especially the more times you take it. It isn't the virus, it is the preservatives and heavy metals in it. Love your family as much and often as long as you can, and don't be one of those who desert them when they no longer recognize you. Always remember that they didn't have a choice to stop remembering. Rog My Mom never got to the mean stage, my Dad shows no signs of that either. He has mostly good days. He probably doesn't know what day it is, but can remember my baseball pitching stats from 40 years ago It's interesting how his mind works. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 5 hours ago, -js- said: reading only this page - you are a caring, compassionate individual He's really a butt I think the worst thing for my mother as Alzheimer's was progressing was in the moments of lucidity. She'd realize what was actually happening and know that there was nothing she could do to stop it as she saw it ravage her mother as well and knew what was coming. She never would admit it but we could tell the times she was "with us" what was going through her mind. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 11 minutes ago, Ceptorman said: He probably doesn't know what day it is, but can remember my baseball pitching stats from 40 years ago It's interesting how his mind works. That's normal. Short term memory goes and long term remains. My mom definitely hit the mean stage. It was so out of character for her as she was always just the opposite prior to the disease. Another manifestation of the disease is hiding things and accusing people of stealing them. We'd find her personal items everywhere, normally wrapped up in tissue paper or baggies. We never found her "lost" wedding band till after she passed and we were going through her things. She had put in in an envelope and put in the back of a filing cabinet that my father kept important papers in. She had claimed that it had been stolen for a year or two. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Montego Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 17 hours ago, BigStewMan said: I’m thinking foe. Have thought about this a couple of times now and struggling to find the good in them. Bad memories go without saying; but, even the remembrance of good times is painful because i know that they are times that have past and won’t be lived out again. That’s a sad thing. How can i be happy knowing that the happiest times (thus far) are gone forever? I've felt this way for the last several years. I can't let go of the past. I built a chopper like the one I had in the 70's. I've have a house full of old stereo components. Sometimes all of this makes me happy and sometimes sad. I know how you feel. Sorry I don't have any helpful wisdom. Thanks for posting ⏳ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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