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Memories -- Friend or Foe?


BigStewMan

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Perhaps those that are married are 'chained' to someone that might or might not enjoy the future experiences where-as, the single person can always have a chance at creating some new memories without an external influence (spouse) altering it.

 

Though I've been with my wife for 30 years, I can still remember the (pardon the word) freedom I had while single.  I think both have their good/bad points of view.

 

I for one am a sentimental type so like/appreciate old memories.  If things are tough now, they can give a nice reflection of what could be again.

 

 

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Steve, I think we just need to stay positive, and think tomorrow might be the best day we've ever had! 

A local radio station has a morning comedy show. One of their repetitive sayings is from a movie, Morgan Freeman saying "either get busy living, or get busy dying"....they meant it to be funny, but it actually rings true.

 

I get sentimental, and fondly remember my childhood. Looking back, I had a wonderful childhood. My typical summer day, or after school activity, my family owned property behind us, so I was usually playing in the woods, or playing baseball next door. When I heard my Dad come home from work, I would rush in to see him, and for dinner. After dinner, he would take us for an airplane ride, he owned a small 4 seat airplane and the airport was right across the street from us. Looking back, I took it for granted, I had it made. 

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Harry Chapin "I let time go lightly"  I think it was actually sung by his brother Steve Chapin

 

In the song is a phrase...  (trying to recall it word for word)

 

Old friends....  they mean much more to me than a new friend...

Because they can see where you are...

And they know where you've been.

 

(then goes on to say Music is his oldest friend...)

 

 

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Memories can never be more than that, good or bad.

 

1 hour ago, BigStewMan said:

But what about single folks who live life day to day and have no bond to pleasantly link the present to the future; or who have lost the people that once shared the good times?

Almost everyone has lost people they have shared good time with but this has nothing to do with tomorrow, it never happened yet. Married or single there is no telling whats going to happen tomorrow, it just means you may be doing something with someone else, but I bet there are many married people who feel alone.

 

It sounds like you want to be with someone, nothing wrong with that. Just remember then it will be two people trying to figure out what to do tomorrow. :mellow: But really try to find someone, just don't put all the pressure on them to create good memories, or expect any more out of it than what happens on it's own. A relationship is hard enough in the beginning even without expectations of either person, it just happens.  I swear I never expected to me married almost 40 years, it just happened.

 

I don't know what to say except what was said by JimJimbo above.

 

 

I see you changed your avatar, went from a past bad memory to something positive, if it works out or not it's a good thing either way.

 

EDIT: I just thought of something you are in a position already many wish for, retired and can pay your bills with no job to answer to everyday.

 

I think this may be part of the problem, recently retired and more free time than you know what to do with. I bet this is the problem after so many years of having to be somewhere everyday want to or not, this is a big change for anyone.

Maby a part time fun job just to be out in front of people you may find one you get along with, who knows there may be a odd cat-ette out there you get along with ? 

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1 hour ago, BigStewMan said:

I’m thinking foe.  Have thought about this a couple of times now and struggling to find the good in them.  Bad memories go without saying; but, even the remembrance of good times is painful because i know that they are times that have past and won’t be lived out again.  That’s a sad thing. How can i be happy knowing that the happiest times (thus far) are gone forever?

Perhaps being single gives me a different perspective.  A married person plans on remaining married, so the possibility of new memories with their spouse seems like a sure thing. 

But what about single folks who live life day to day and have no bond to pleasantly link the present to the future; or who have lost the people that once shared the good times?  How can remembering the good old days be a fun experience?  Perhaps, i chose the wrong road in life and my feelings are the logical conclusion of those choices, or is this just what happens as one gets older? 

Anyway, just wondering how others deal with the fact that some good times are gone forever. 

 

Not Foe at all...Life is a learning experience...All of society has experienced Up's and Downs...

I've been married twice...

My first marriage I raised 2 beautiful children, one Son and one Daughter, first one wanted a different life....

My Second marriage lasted 10 years....We both married for the wrong reasons...

My best friend is Michelle...Nothing like having a woman that is your best friend...I mean this...Guys will be enlightened...

"The past is just that...The past..."

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Bigstewman, good memories of good times gone now, with people no where to be found, can be painful, but why waste time on dwelling on the past, and not making today, a good memory for tomorrow,..

Life comes with the good and the bad, it is not a menu we pick from. At some point in everybody's existence, life stops giving, and stars taking away,....Few memories will be a good thing to hang on, good or bad, it means you have lived, you have learned, you have experimented and you have conquered,..

 

You just need to keep re inventing yourself everyday, finding new challenges, new hobbies, and pre occupying your self with something new.

 

Being alone is not as bad as being with the wrong person. The future can be either scary or exciting depending on which side of the cup you see: the 1/2 full or the 1/2 empty ?.

 

Holding on to too much memories will rather make us like hoarders you see on TV, their lives becomes so cluttered just like their homes, they can barely move.

 

Stay uncluttered, memories belong in the past, and you live in the present. 

 

 

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3 minutes ago, twistedcrankcammer said:

I've seen to many old ladies with late stage Alzheimer's role their poop into little balls and either stuff them up their who-ha or eat them to think that no memories is a good thing! 

You hang out with funny people.

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learning is a function of memory



Therapist Erik Ericsson said in his six stages of life that the last stage is “Ego Integrity vs Despair”. Do we come to the place that in our life we have lived lives of integrity or that our lives have been lived in despair.


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