Groomlakearea51 Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 First, all the best wishes for Christmas from me and my family to all of our "Forum Family" who are looking around in the Two Channel section. Now to the post.... [H] For many, many years I have been studying, doing the requisite research, strange experiments late at night with vast quantities of Sam Adams, numerous interviews with my wife's "candidates"; most of whom refused to cooperate, waltzing out of the man cave with that Greta Garbo, "I Vant To Be Alone" look.... Finally!! It's time to take off the lab coats, put away the cattle prods, clean up the Fancy Feast bribes, and get "The Diva" ready. Months of practice and rehearsals have finally paid off. It was not easy, let me tell you! She has the temperament of a pis*ed off miniature water buffalo on a strange LSD experience, but with claws that remind me of the wolverine dude from the Fantastic 4 movie; but once she realized she was the prima donna of the show, she shaped right up and for the audience's benefit, can now put Lady GaGa to shame!! A few obligatory pre-performance glitches, but what the hey!! Festus (the dog...) carries her around by her head alot, so I had to do the shampoo thing to remove the slobber, but she cleaned up just fine. A couple of "moments" with the hair dryer, and the usual totally spoiled temper tantrums about her ballet tutu costume (hand made by my wife!!! [Y], but after making sure she knows that the turkey giblets will be hers as sort of a post performance reward, she's "on board" as we say! After many tears and frustration trying to get her, and the other uncooperative, if down right totally negative and ungrateful feline cohorts that do not contribute to the household and only suck down food and torture the dog because they are big and mean and want to rule the world..., we decided that cats are far more cultured and sophisticated than we thought. They just did not like the initial Euro-Trash Rock selections we envisioned. After many trials and errors of biblical proportion and magnitude, we discovered that it was the classical ballet that soothed the savage beasts. Lady's and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce Ms. Tatiana Muffinskaya (named so as she is a clever thief..... and her favorite crime when she's not doing her ballet practice is stealing and stashing the nice triple chocolate fudge muffins that my wife so kindly bakes for us....). For her debut, she shall perform to Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky's classic, "The Nutcracker" (Leonard Bernstein/ New York Philharmonic with performances by Yo-Yo-Ma; Sony Classical, 1981). Le Grand Entry and Overture! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Share Posted December 25, 2009 Interlude and her stunning interpretation of the Chinese Dance! A classic!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Share Posted December 25, 2009 Now for the Arabian Dance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Share Posted December 25, 2009 The Waltz of The Flowers!! Stunning!!! Bravo!!! Bravissimo!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Share Posted December 25, 2009 Now for the Piece' De Resistance!!! Her interpretation of the much beloved dance of the Sugar Plum Cat Fairy..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted December 25, 2009 Author Share Posted December 25, 2009 A Very Merry Christmas! Autographs will be signed after the performance, and flowers (with Eau De Fancy Feast aroma) should be delivered to her devoted chauffeur, Festus..... [H] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbsl Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 When does the tour start? [] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MechMan Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 ENCORE......ENCORE.... Golf clap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Disturbing, yet soooo Marshal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom b. 57 Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Have you hired an agent yet? I have connections! Give me a call 555-555-1234 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhoak Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 And "en pointe" too... I'm very very impressed. Great job! Having been in the employ of many cats over the years I always thought that "training cats" was an oxymoron. [] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarryC Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 We need the video Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CIGARBUM Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Can Boogie and scooter be groupies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallette Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 OK, GLA51, you should know that putting cats in a bag and blowing bong smoke in there is a crime. Taking pictures to boot. Shame, shame! Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seti Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Whatt kind of shrooms were in the holiday stuffing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunburnwilly Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 OK, GLA51, you should know that putting cats in a bag and blowing bong smoke in there is a crime. I'm thinking no bong smoke required . That critter is displaying classic cat treat addiction . I should know , I've got one of those as well and mine goes crazy when he hears that bag shake . Although mine would bite the fool out of me if I tried to put a tu tu on him . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigerwoodKhorns Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 Awesome, what this world needs is more dancing cats. Can Klyde help? He is missing a few chromozomes but he tries real hard. He has no talents and isn't really good at anything but drooling, but he would appreciate the opportunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted December 25, 2009 Moderators Share Posted December 25, 2009 Very very nice, I can only imagine how much Sam Adams it would take to achieve that level of talent. Your patience and dedication in consuming the amount of Sam Adams to get to that level is well...well,... OK not that surprising, but you finally achieved a level most could only dream of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkrop Posted December 25, 2009 Share Posted December 25, 2009 The sadness lies in the fact that YOU must have worn a tutu for that poor impressionable feline to feel comfortable sporting one.. What she must have witnessed can only be described as inhumane![] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted December 26, 2009 Author Share Posted December 26, 2009 Ok!!! Booger, Scooter can be groupies; but it's paws off the babe until after the shows. Booger looks a little disturbing, but that's probably just the picture..... Klyde looks a little demented (in a good Freddy/Jason sorta' kinda' way), so he can help Festus with chauffeur and bodyguard duties; besides, with the "drool factor", he and Festus will get along just fine! Festus drools alot when he carries the cats around by their heads, so when Klyde heads home after a tour, he'll look fairly normal.... [Y] The truth? The ugly truth? Even I could not handle the truth!!! My wife started about 2-3 months ago when she noticed that the Great Muffinsky would sit up on her hind legs, using her massive tail as a balance prop and beg for anything that was being prepped for supper. Katrina (my wife!!! NOT the Hurricane.... although on ocassion there is little difference, especially when I have been playing the tunes too loud, etc...) started getting "Precious" to stand up and walk for the "treats". The dance routine naturally evolved, and after some intense efforts to find an appropriate venue for her "Dance Like The Stars" show, it was discovered that she showed the most coordination and motivation with the ballet, Klipschorns, and raw bacon (but not in that order, I suspect...). Actually, my wife made the tutu and then went through a weird reality show level hell as Ms. Tatiana refused to wear it; claiming that unless more snacks were involved she was going to just go "nekkid" and shift her "artiste" focus to a feline pole dance routine. The bribes were significant, lemme' tell you!!! Disclaimer: No bongs were hurt during the training or the making of Ms. Tatiana's debut. [H] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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