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The difference between Liberals, Conservatives, and Southerners...


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You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question. What's the motivation for the attack? Have I ever done anything to him that would cause him to attack me? Am I sure it's me he's attacking? Is there someone else in my immediate vicinity that might be the true object of his aggression? Are there any other viable options? Could we run away? May I converse with my wife, and kids? Could I possibly negotiate with the attacker? Might I wield the gun as a club, and knock the knife out his hand? What does the law say about this situation? What are the consequences of any action I might take? What type of emotional scarring might my children incur if I choose to "pull the trigger"? Maybe it is better to simply allow the attack. I might even survive the attack, and injury might be minimal. It's possible the attacker is simply a victiim of some horrid circumstance. This would allow the attacker an opportunity to seek professional help, thus preventing future attacks on others. At any rate, there is simply not enough information to make a decision. Could I possibly have an opportunity to do some research and inquire from others the proper course of action. I also question why I have to have a gun. Not possessing a weapon alleviates me from the responsibility of having to make this ridiculous choice in the first place. I'm afraid I'm going to have to get back to you on this.

Conservative Answer:


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...(sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right, Dad. I saw it too..."


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Southern "Words of Wisdom":

Rules for a Gunfight:

1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring two guns. Bring all your friends with guns.

2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough or using cover correctly.

5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (lateral and diagonal movement are preferred)

6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a rifle and a friend with a rifle.

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.

9. Accuracy is relative: Most combat shooting standards will be more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun. Use a gun that works every time. "All skill is in vain when an angel whizzes in your frizzen."

10. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.

11. Always cheat, always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. Have a plan.

13. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.

14. Use cover and concealment as much as possible.

15. Flank your adversary when possible while protecting YOUR own flank.

16. Don't drop your guard.

17. Always tactically-load and threat-scan 360 degrees.

18. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust, everyone else keep your hands where I can see them.)

19. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

20. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.

21. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

22. Be courteous to everyone...friendly to no one.

23. Your number one option for personal security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.

24. Do NOT attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4".


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Well said for a southern redneck. Us northern neo-conservatives could not have said it better. I especially liked the quote:"All skill is in vain when an angel whizzes in your frizzen." Where is that from?

My philosophy: .40 or .45 only; single action semiauto; magazine drop saftey; round chambered. There is nothing worse than being shot with your own gun. Most punks think all you have to do is pull the trigger and shoot. That will give you enough time to get out the back-up and protect yourself. Oh yea, and when alone at the range practice your drop and roll shooting.


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"Drop and roll"? He'll, I don't do that unless I'm on fire.

Gee Rick, why didn't you just say "1911". :)

I'm sure you gunners know the most common encounter is going to be in the home, and take place at less than 15 feet. At home, I opt for cowering down with my DA Sig P220ST. Chamber a round and it's good to go. For that first shot, I prefer 10 lbs. on the trigger rather than 3. No chance of an andrenaline shot that way.

No aggressor should get close enough to get your gun away from you. They should be downed long before that. If it should happen, and a round is chambered -- it doesn't matter if you're single action or not. No one should be using a safety when the threat is imminent. As far as a backup goes, a good knife is much better -- since this type of combat ends up in your face almost immediately.

If Ohio passes Conceal Carry, I don't really see me carrying but on the rarest of occasions. However, at those times, I would go with the Les Baer and level 2 carry (round chambered, hammer down).

As far as the .357 goes, it might do well on the outside, but I would never consider one for home defense. Muzzle blast and flash are just too much. You get one shot, and then you're deaf and blind.

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My PPK has almost no plastic on it. I can split someones head with it if they get close enough.


Been glad I had mine with me on occasion, although I never had to use it (also VERY glad).

Make sure you practice!


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On 1/4/2004 5:36:07 PM Audio Flynn wrote:

24. Do NOT attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a "4".

Only exeption I can think of is a .357.

Politicians like unarmed peasants, serfs, fools, sheep or pick another noun.

The .357 hot loaded Python always works for me. You got to knock em down.


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Is it me or has the ability to beat the snot out of someone been lost in the ages? Rip somebodies throat out,break their nose, break arms ,legs. physical confrontation at its best!

Take the best ssome knife wielder has to offer and smack the snot out of them!

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On 1/4/2004 7:38:33 PM neo33 wrote:

My .50 Magnum has no safety, always loaded and is too big to conceal. Fitted with a laser target, I never miss from within 25 feet. Just point and shoot!

Statistically, the average gun fight in the US is at a distance of 12 feet.

The Eagle is awesome, but it you dont carry it, it cant help you. (And Ill bet that you dont.) With the laser, that piece would be like toting a small bicycle in your pocket. Yea, my Python is a bit bulky too.

Try the two inch Charter .44 special (15% hot) and the old hammerless .38 special as backup.

At 12 feet......Well......

JMHO...Andy and I live in Arkansas


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