IAmtnbikr Posted May 14, 2005 Share Posted May 14, 2005 Hey, I'd slap you, but shyt splatters.....speaking of shyt, do you know what the difference is between you and a pile of shyt? The pile will quit smelling with age... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texican58 Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 ---------------- On 6/21/2004 8:23:20 AM picky wrote: A blind guy sits down at the bar and asks if the bartender would like to hear a good blonde joke. Bartender: Well, first of all, I am blonde, second of all, the woman sitting next to you is blonde and a black belt in karate. The person sitting two stools down from you on the opposite side is a blonde biker, and there are two blonde championship weight-lifters shooting pool behind you. Now, do you think you still want to tell us your blonde joke? Blindman: No, I've changed my mind. I don't want to have to explain the joke 5 times! (Rimshot implied) ---------------- Caught at work again!!! Laughed Out Loud, (many persons rushing to my office to inquire) What should I say? I just read one of the best 'blonde' jokes ever. LOL.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironwoods Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 The difference between you and rooster is; a rooster says "cock-a-doodle-doo", and you say "any-cock'll-do". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jheis Posted May 27, 2005 Share Posted May 27, 2005 How can I miss you if you won't go away? James Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacksonbart Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 Bump. How about the simple yet effective "you suck" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironwoods Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 ---------------- On 6/8/2005 12:15:09 PM jacksonbart wrote: Bump. How about the simple yet effective "you suck" ---------------- Female T&A only Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mighty Favog Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 ---------------- On 6/8/2005 12:26:29 PM ironwoods wrote: ---------------- On 6/8/2005 12:15:09 PM jacksonbart wrote: Bump. How about the simple yet effective "you suck" ---------------- Female T&A only ---------------- I dunno about that second one. Except if she works for the Love Brothers' phone company....AT&T T&A. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travisc Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 A priest puts an ad in the paper for a new bellringer. After weeks of no replies the priest about gave up until a man with no arms shows up to apply. The priest took the man up to the top of the belltower and asks how he could possibly ring a bell. The man tells the priest to stand back and he backs up and runs into the bell with his head. The priest was amazed at this and tells the man if he can do that again he's got the job. The man backs up again and starts to run to the bell. This time he missed and goes flying out the tower and falls to his death. A police officer sees the whole thing and goes over to the crowd around the bod and asks if anyone knew the man. The priest steps forward and says, "I don't know his name but his face sure rings a bell." Ater a while the priest puts the ad back in the paper. Again no replies except for a man with no arms. The priest thought he was seeing a ghost until the man explains he was the deceased's brother. The priest takes him up to the tower as well. The man rings the bel exactly as his brother did. The priest tells him that he has the job if he can do it again. The man steps back and runs out the tower as his brother did before him falling to his death. The same police officer then goes to the crowd around the body asking about this man. The priest steps forward and says, "I don't know his name but he's a dead ringer for his brother." I know not an insult, come over here and I'll unzip my complaint department. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
st. patrick Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 how about "He's got his head so far up his A$$ that he is looking out of his belly button" or "ya looking out of your belly button again?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Garrison Posted July 19, 2005 Share Posted July 19, 2005 Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxg Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 No darling, you're not fat - but I'd avoid the beach if I were you - we dont want Greenpeace throwing you back in again.... At a youth club when I was about 16, 2 "cool" dudes came in and started knocking stuff over. When one of them caught my eye he stopped and said "whoops - accident." "dont worry," said I, "so were you." Kinda deflated the pair of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Amy Posted July 20, 2005 Moderators Share Posted July 20, 2005 Ugh, I thought this thread had finally died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSport Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 It did...a long time ago... Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuned4life Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 my wife is not easily offended but this one bought me a spot on the couch for a week. union construction workers who had worked together for years. Christopher says, well guys, while im on vacation in getting a sex change operation. when i return to work i want you to call me Christine. guy # 2 says no way. guy #3 says, ya right. sure enough, Christine returns to work with a figure, wearing makeup and fingernail polish. after the intial shock wore off. guy #2 says, so you really went through with it. Christine replies, i said i was going to didnt I. guy #3 says, it must have hurt like hell when they cut your penis off. Christine replies, no, actually that wasnt to bad, i'll tell you what did hurt though. when they drilled a hole in my skull and sucked half my brains out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krustyoldsarge Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 ---------------- On 7/20/2005 7:09:23 AM maxg wrote: No darling, you're not fat - but I'd avoid the beach if I were you - we dont want Greenpeace throwing you back in again.... Buddy of mine told me about a female "companion" he couldn't get rid of: "She was so fat you had to roll her around in flour to find the wet spot". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DRBILL Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Is it just me, or has the FORUM gotten to be tediously uninteresting lately? DR BILL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarryC Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Bill, I don't think it's just you. The last two days have really been striking, with the number of posts barely reaching 100 by the end of each afternoon. It seems to me that posters who have been around for a long time are way down in their frequency and don't respond to other posts as much as they used to, or have disappeared. The forum seemed more dynamic and 24/7 a couple of years ago. I think that while the flare-up of flaming and arrival of the monitors damped forum activity some, I also thought it was coming back. Maybe many have come to feel they've exhausted their "say." I wonder if it's even worth making this a separate thread? Larry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrench_peddler Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Your momma wanted a girl, your daddy wanted a boy. When you were born, they were both happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrench_peddler Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 Your momma wanted a girl, your daddy wanted a boy. When you were born, they were both happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
126mhz Posted July 24, 2005 Share Posted July 24, 2005 I've always been a Clint Eastwood fan. At the beginning of The Outlaw Josie Wales Eastwood is cooling his heals in a dirty small town's jail. A local middle aged woman asked the jailer if she can look at the prisoner, and the jailer let's her. As she stands in front of the bars she is clearly disgusted and says: "If I were a man I'd thrash you. To which Eastwood stands up and slowly walks over to the woman and says: "If you weren't wearing a dress I'd think you were a man you ugly old wart." Bill Woodward Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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