colterphoto1 Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I have an admission I need to make and a request to ask for. Please pardon me if this is too sensitive or personal or in any way inappropriate for this Forum. My photo business has been in constant turmoil because of turnover of temporary, part-time assistants. I have been trying to utilize young college kids as office help for the past 5 years, trying to mentor them a bit in my profession and show them how a small business runs. I do think that I've done some kids a lot of good. Unfortunately, the turnover has led to extreme stress and excessive drinking on my part. I have been in and out of recovery programs for the past two years attempting to get this under control. Just yesterday, I was told by one young person that their parents had suspended their auto privledges so they could no longer work for me. Another gal who is an EMT, enrolled in addtional classes, making her nearly unavalable for work. I can't believe that this is happening again and can't afford a backslide into my previous behaviors, either professionally or from a health standpoint. Therefore, I am trying to marshall all the support I can. I'm just trying to do the next right thing every day and being all alone in this office is scary. Please, if you're so inclined, include this Forum brother in your prayers for health, recovery, and strength. Thank you very much. Michael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deang Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I Peter 5:7 I hear you Michael. Now hear Him. Psalm 46:10 Be strong, we love you Man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frzninvt Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Hang in there Michael! Things will come together! I believe that everything happens for a reason and life is just one constant series of ups and downs. Friends are there to get you through the good and the bad and offer you support. I suppose you have already asked your assistants if they happened to know anyone interested in mentoring and learning the photography trade. I sincerely hope that things work out for the best. I wish I had some other words of wisdom for you right now. Stand up, pick your chin up and press on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j-malotky Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 It is never wrong to ask for help. I will keep you in my prayers as well my friend. The answer to your delema is always in reach, although it may be hard to see. Sometimes we have to take out lumps and roll with the punches although it may be hard to see what the reason is. I have had to start over in my life, and I know how hard it is to see past the trials at hand. It sounds like you have had these trials in the past and have made some poor choises. Be strong Michael as you know that the wrong choises only cause you more problems. I pray you learn from your previous mistakes and do not backslide again. I pray that you find strength from your friends and family as I do believe we are all in this togheter, that friends and family are more important and stronger than any sums of wealth. I will pray that you use the tools that you have to get through this. I also beleive that God will never throw us into any situation that we do not have the strength to handle. Ask him for help. JM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colterphoto1 Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 thanks guys- off to a meeting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audible Nectar Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I am continually amazed with people who throw away opportunities I have never had a chance to see. I would give a left ******** for someone like Michael to mentor me/show me the ropes of a profession/skill I love. In a world where meaningful employment is more difficult to come by, where true craftspeople are increasingly difficult to find, why would someone throw that opportunity away? I am a delivery person at my day job, and visit numerous businesses and people working in them. It is amazing the people I see daily who are drawing a good salary who hate what they are doing, don't want to be where they are, don't want to be good at what they do - they just want to show up and draw a paycheck. Where is the pride in a job well done? When/if I ask them how they got the job, or what training/qualifications are necessary to do that job, it is as if I asked the government for classified documents. Protective, secretive......it's as if a truthful answer would cause that employee to jeopardize thier own job by sharing what they know to get thier own job. "I'm making money, but be damned if I'm going to share any secrets with you." I get these attitudes even at Job Fairs, where I walk in and ask managers and CEO's what they are looking for in an employee, so they ask me what qualifications I have without answering my question, then send my merry hind end on it's way. Then there are rare folks like Michael, who has a craft and a desire to share the skill and pass it on. I get the feeling that Michael's employees aren't just employees pushing paperwork and collecting the mail....but are learning some valuable business and craft skills. A willingness to do this is rare. Most employers want a worker without any effort or investment put in - Michael seems to want people that can develop and grow, and is willing to share and invest time in these people. That is a tremendous gift. Put simply, Michael, please resist the urges you may occassionally have to engage in any self destructive behaviors. You are too valuable here - as a businessperson, as a teacher (that's what mentoring is), and as a fellow Klipscher. I lost a good friend over the past few weeks who couldn't avoid such paths of self-destructive behaviors - and believe me, that was much tougher to deal with than our attempts to help him were. I sure wish we had the opportunity to continue to help him. We thank you for allowing us the opportunity to help you. If the power of this forum is any indication, you have much support right here, and much support to draw from. We will be collectively thinking of, and praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnysal Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 mike, be strong. I too have suffered dependancy problems in the past, many of us have. It is worth the struggle NOT to give in, push forward, work through the hard times to the good times. Keep strong Mike, we will all be praying for you. tony Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fini Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Michael, I'm with ya, buddy! I've been seeing a counselor through Kaiser, working on several health (mental, physical, spiritual) issues. I whole-heartedly recommend this to you, too (if you haven't already). It's my first time seeing a psychologist, and I don't know why I didn't do it sooner. She turned me on to (assigned me to read, actually) "It Will Never Happen To Me!" by Claudia Black. It's been very revealing, and is helping me understand my own issues with alcohol, food, etc. Man, I wish I lived close enough to be your assistant! I'm with Audible Nectar... Best wishes for you, Michael. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myhamish Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Hi Mike, I've always enjoyed your posts and the energy you display in whatever you pursue. (Who else would go halfway across the country for a pair of Cornwalls?) I hope and pray that you can draw on those positive attributes to get you through the rough times. It's been said that you can't change somebody else, but you can change yourself. And family, friends and support groups are there to back you up. Here's my take on this - if you can sort out your personal challenges, the business dealings will improve. We don't want to lose you, Mike, so hang in there and kick this thing in the @$$. Take care. Hamish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3dzapper Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Michael, It's tough, I know I was a three six pack a day (night) guy myself for too many years and still can't go near Scotch. You've made the right first step, asking for help. We are all here to help you and can take any abuse you want to give out as you cope. Have you ever thought about hiring a retiree as an assistant? Kids are too into partying and the opposite sex to be reliable long term. Who knows, an older person may turn into just as much a mentor for you as you for him/her. Rick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dodger Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Prayers AND the advice to get into a 12 step Program, get a mentor and tape yourself when not in control. One has to want to be free - I've never drank nor used illegal drugs. Not because I'm a goody two shoes or the fact of the job. But one of inner understanding. Friends can help, but a professional can help you find the strngths you have, the ability to be proud of them and the weaknesses - trying to improve them or accepting that there are some things a person cannot do well, but can do others very well. Escape is only time in life lost. We are never given more than we can bear. Read Psalm 23 and look at it as how life is. If you do not believe substitute friend where needed. The words show life, not death as is read at Funerals. But one has to say stop, I am letting friends down, I am letting myself down. I am letting my maker down. That is not what I want to do this is what I will not do and this is the way to change. You have material things, THE material things to do what you enjoy. Pick one camera up, place it on a shelf that you can see. When you've enroleed in, or continue to attend a program, decide what your strengths and weaknesses are, take that camera, go to a hilltop, photgraph the sunrise, the view, nature and print them as 8 x 10s frame them and hang them. That is your new day to start your new life. I am not ignoring prayers or faith. That new start will be the result of Faith, Prayers, Support, Inner Examination, Work on your part and seeking the other help needed to come to that day. Good Luck, dodger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Champagne taste beer budget Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Michael, I could have changed 10 words in your post and it would have been me. Essentially, small business owner with work stress, employee problems and a history of alchohol dependancy problems. It's not any fun, which makes that bottle look so much friendlier, which only leads to more problems. Don't get me wrong, I'm not lecturing you, I'm agreeing with you. I'm right where you are. You have a pm. Stay strong. I'm trying to, but not doing a very good job of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.4knee Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Michael, We are here if you need us. Prayers ... that is the easy part. I have experience with this in my family re: the drinking issues and stress. To quote my family member, who has been sober now for 12 years, "You simply change your bleeping life". His was a hard road to get to where he is now. He nearly lost everything he had. I am proud of his recovery, which is neverending, and proud of his conviction and generaly proud of him overall. So if you need to bend an ear, or eye as it were, by all means post away. Take care and God bless. R/Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ricktate Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Hi Mike i got an idea for you...Im 47 and wasnt getting the overtime i needed so i stopped by a cycle shop to try get part time job at something i know a little about.He said he had tried younger people did not work out i agreed to work for small pay in order to learn the trade.Seems to like me and i like the job its not great pay but the idea of doing something you like is best i think.He is trying to get me on the floor to sell some high end bikes will give me 2% if i do i never did sales or even retail before so im lost out on the floor..lol.Just an idea for you to think about....Rick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom Mobley Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Mike, you've got the fabled PM and email. Hang in there for the rest of the day today and you've got today whipped. Work on tomorrows crap tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZAKO Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Perhaps a retired person with photography skill would be better. The work ethic may be there plus the background in darkroom skills are already known. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smokem Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Prayers for yah man. Just take it day by day and it will get better. I have health issues that knock me out for a month when I have relapses. I know how hard it can be to hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m00n Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 ---------------- On 3/1/2005 11:08:54 AM Maron Horonzak wrote: Perhaps a retired person with photography skill would be better. The work ethic may be there plus the background in darkroom skills are already known. ---------------- That's not a bad idea. Or find someone who may not be retired but has a few years of lifes lessons under their belt. There are always people out there who are good people who need a new chance at new opportunities. I'm sure there are some families out there who need a second income who don't want to work in a service type business. Have you ever thought about finding a tallented individual and brining them in as a partner rather than employee? It would take some burden off you and give them a reason to want to stay for the long haul. Just an idea. I'm sure this is not needed to be said, but, you and I know booze is not the answer, it only complicates matters. Take it 1 day at a time... 1 day at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duke Spinner Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Dude ..... i'm self employed too i been where yer at a couple times most onlookers don't fully understand that you have to find work, sell work,do the work, and Collect for the work it can get to you can ruin your life give up on the kids, man i have tried to give so many a start ...only to be screwed over again and again stolen from, left hangin' .. etc. i hired an outta work guy in his 40's yea, i'm payin him $25/ an hour ... but he can show up, and produce work without screwin' it all up hang in there biz comes and goes, it ain't the meaning of life, ya know ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colterphoto1 Posted March 1, 2005 Author Share Posted March 1, 2005 Thanks gang, Just got back from my daily 12-step meeting. You know the one. Thanks for you kind words of support and encouragement. I do know enough about this struggle to know when to call out for help, so that's what the 5 am post represents. Good to know that there's folks out there with same business and chemical struggle who are willing to share a bit. I'll get through this. I'm done with hiring young people though. Michael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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