Groomlakearea51 Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Here's a thought.... The Armed Forces thinks that I'm too old to go back on active duty and track down terrorists. (You can't be older than 42 to join or re-join the military.) They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18 year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join the military until you're at least 35. Researchers say 18 year olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. "My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry!" We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some a**hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while. An 18 year old doesn't even like to get up before 10 AM. Old guys always get up early to take a pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said, "I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some idiot who truly needs it. And a plus!! If we are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser. Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed a real appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in war zones and never saw a single 20 foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after an operation. I can hear the drill sergeants now, "Get down and give me ... er .. one." Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. Let us old guys go after the enemy. The last thing an enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million pissed off old fa*ts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them. If nothing else, put us on the border and we will have it secured the first night. An 18 year old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Just a thought....[] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill H. Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Nice Idea, but we'd blow the Militarys budget on one Item, DEPENDS.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldbuckster Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I would rather go than have the DRAFT start up again, ................ Thought all this crap was behind us !!!!! .... those Coward terrorist's couldn't handle a bunch of Old Dawgs droolin, ooops, I mean foaming at the mouth, for a fight ............ and if we get hurt, we'll pass on sooner and save all that money for the VA ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Dee Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Marshall, Great piece. You should send that to Reader's Digest. An old guy's idea of good literature. seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. RF62 Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. Very well said Groom, I like your analogy, but for us who have fathers, we would want to do our part to kick azz not along side but same area(for emotional sake) and clean house, or territory. That saying I wish it could be put on billboards around the continent!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted January 12, 2008 Moderators Share Posted January 12, 2008 " They could lighten up on the obstacle course however." ..........To say the least ! Also I think we will need way more bullets, we will be shooting anything that moves, and stuff that just looks like it would be fun to shoot. And plenty of those small hand held rocket launcher things, they look like fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvel Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Researchers say 18 year olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Is that why I still feel so young? [:|] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuned4life Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I was looking through my stuff and found my draft card. I explained my wife how the draft lottery worked back then. At that time everyone with a number less than 180 got drafted. My number was 59, the only lottery I ever won. I told her that I thought the military should let folks serve in what ever capacity they could regardless of age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oscarsear Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Oh yeah. A bunch of grizzled old farts with the unbridled ruthless experience only ripened age can bring would be a horrific sight on a battlefield. Dirty tricks right and left. Wheel chairs set up with mini guns and RPGs. Jihad my arse. You want a piece of me, lets throw down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJkizak Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Groomlakearea51: I can see it now. This is the scenario: Sarge says, "Groomy, take 10 grenades and go up that hill and take out that 50 cal machine gun." Groomy says,"I can't run with this 80 pound pack, can I take it off?" Sarge says, "OK". Groomy says, "I can't run with 10 grenades, can I just take one?". Sarge says "OK". Groomy says, "I have to take a crap". Sarge says, "OK". After the crap Groom says, "I can't pull the pin on the grenade because of my arthritis". The new Sarge says, "You viill forget it, the vwar is over, you lost. Do you feel lucky?" JJK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Researchers say 18 year olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy. Is that why I still feel so young? That one puts me in the still too young to join group, although I also wish for a large personal supply of rpg's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebes Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 It's about time somebody came up with some funny and trenchant writing around here. A properly slewed outlook on things. The usual way things are done is for the old folks to send the younger ones out to do their dying for them. Now I'd sign up for this great effort but I'm a hippie at heart so I think I'll start up the Geriatric Underground instead. You drop the GU's by helicopter outside a village late at night. We infiltrate the 'ville and look up the young jihadists/, We do a little dap, spread around a few "groovies" and "oh wows" and settle in with the locals. At some point we say "take a toke off of this blunt, oh and have you heard this group, they really kick". Comes the morning the the old geezers who like to blow up stuff stroll into town on their walkers and strollers and scoop up the comitose terrorists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billybob Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 LOL! And the one's not out yet will be surrendering in droves cause: Show video of the of the "Old Farts" waking up with hangovers and hemmoroids p****d off that they've been called out of retirement, just to help them along to meet their maker. Cussing & asking for their rubber panties, and a little "hair of the dog." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldbuckster Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 nothin' worse than A BUNCH OF CRAZED OL' WAR DAWGS ................. IRAQ THIS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey, maybe old George W. will join us, he'll be out of work soon, ........................... YEAH RIGHT !!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jheis Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Just think how much they'd save on hearing protection.... James Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groomlakearea51 Posted January 14, 2008 Author Share Posted January 14, 2008 Just think how much they'd save on hearing protection.... Well, we could cull out Klipsch owners as a Special Forces unit...Since our hearing is generally pretty good and we generally understand "critical listening", we could handle sensitive night operations (hell, we're up alot at night anyways). We should also set up our FOB's (Forward Operating Bases) with Jubilees in the big mess tent, etc. And to be really crafty about it... Everytime we did a night operation and wacked bad guys (with all those fun explosives y'all really like!![H]) we would leave a "Bose" calling card with the enemy General's cell phone number on the back of the card to call for complaints. A true psycho(logical) operation. [6] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billybob Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 Just think how much they'd save on hearing protection.... Well, we could cull out Klipsch owners as a Special Forces unit...Since our hearing is generally pretty good and we generally understand "critical listening", we could handle sensitive night operations (hell, we're up alot at night anyways). We should also set up our FOB's (Forward Operating Bases) with Jubilees in the big mess tent, etc. And to be really crafty about it... Everytime we did a night operation and wacked bad guys (with all those fun explosives y'all really like!!) we would leave a "Bose" calling card with the enemy General's cell phone number on the back of the card to call for complaints. A true psycho(logical) operation. LOL! General what is that music coming across the desert? Hell, I don't know, my cellphone keeps ringing with people complaining about a "Wave"! We better leave now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryO Posted January 14, 2008 Share Posted January 14, 2008 "Everytime we did a night operation and wacked bad guys (with all those fun explosives y'all really like!!) we would leave a "Bose" calling card with the enemy General's cell phone number on the back of the card to call for complaints. A true psycho(logical) operation." There's a bunch of us "Old Greybush" has beens around that may need to shake off the "dust and rust" but there's still a little attitude and experience that could be beneficial to the cause. Don't count us old farts down for the count just yet. I may ***** about it but I love my country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Nicely put Harry. From your posted pic you probably understand the phonetic viet phrase "doom on you." Maybe it would become the old fart brigade's motto. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klipsched with Yamahas Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Good point, as we Americans have become SOFT. Face it, Vietnam was the last major campaign (NOT WAR) where we had hardcore battles. What could be worse than those N. VietKong tactics. Yes, I am an x-vet, without combat experience, but I've been around enough of them + the war stories depicting what took place. But who put us there in the middle east? Same office as before????? I say we send in the politicians and let them take "the point" Nothing like adding some Klipschorns to the armored tank and let 'em know we're coming Sincerely Oddball (Donald Sutherland - "Kelly's Heroes") Ruff, Ruff[] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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