OT:Today just sucked

[J.4knee]

Found out at work today a friend and coworker decided life was too much and jumped off the 805 overpass into a parking lot. We were "fortunate" enough to get a call form the SD coroner to tell us this. I knew he was not feeling well but I never in a million years woud have picked this man to take his own life. This was a guy who had a perpetual smile on his face. But I learned today over the past few weeks he had begun an horrific downward spiral. I cannot fathom what desparation must exist for someone to go to such an extreme. Part of me is very saddened by this loss yet another part of me is nearly infuriated with him. I simply do not understand these types of things, I am thinking maybe I am not supposed to.

[wuzzzer]

Suicide leaves too many unanswered questions and leaves a lot of emptiness in survivors - more so than any other way of dying. I had a friend commit suicide at 15 years of age. No idea what could make someone that young take their own life.

Very sorry for your loss.

[RockOn4Klipsch]

sorry for the loss. Being a young guy myself (25) i've seen a few of my friends take their lifes, too many unanswered question.

Condolences for all the friends and family involved.

[BigStewMan]

that is a tough one for sure. I'm very sorry for this loss. don't be angry at him though. we often use our own "filters" when we view other people's problems. though you & I would likely never do such a thing, I'll bet it wasn't an easy decision for him. suicide is the epitome of selfishness; but, i've had a very hard life and can remember many nights literally praying that i would die in my sleep. I wouldn't kill myself; but, i had lost the will to live and continue in the pain and crap that surrounded me. God obviously had other plans for me. But, I know what helplessness feels like--and it's a heavy burden. I'm sure that your friend's final days were very difficult for him. *Steve*

[sunburnwilly]

Everyone has someone that cares about them and that's who suffers . Don't beat yourself up about not seeing the signs . Suicide is a completely selfish thing .

[DU73]

very sad to hear the news,

[Coytee]

Part of me is very saddened by this loss yet another part of me is nearly infuriated with him

Sorry to hear about your friend. I know what you mean above.

[willland]

Many people who contemplate suicide feel like they don't have any control of anything in their life. With suicide they feel they have complete control.

I am deeply sorry for your loss. We may not always know what is hurting our love ones but we can often tell them we love them.

Bill

[indyhawg]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I agree I cannot fathom why someone would take their own life.

[oldtimer]

I'm also very sorry to hear of this. It does affect the survivors in ways never imagined.

[winchester21]

My best friend- going through a bad divorce- Still everything to live for- Houses at the beach and the mountains- new Ruff porsche-every toy you could possibly immagine- Muiti millionare- Great guy.The guy who turned me onto Klipsch.

We shared a tract of land for hunting/fishing/family outings - ect. We were supposed to meet Friday afternoon. Spoke to him that morning- we made our final plans as to what to bring food-wine. That was at 8:00 on Friday morning. His voice sounded strange and distant. At 10:00 he put a 40 cal Glock 23 in his mouth and pulled the trigger. I got a call at 1:00 in the afternoon from a mutual friend. I was involved in a gut wrenching process of selling off his personal effects and gun/wine stuff. I dont understand suicide. It is a cowards way out. I am crushed to this day with this loss.Every time I pick up a shotgun or a fishing rod I think about him with the same question- WTF??????????????????????????? Why????????????????????????????????????

If I see him in the next world I will slap the s--t out of him for what he did to his many close friends. Sorry for the rant

[Tom Adams]

No - you won't slap him. One of God's promises is that when we die, all things we didn't know or understand would be revealed to us. So when you die, you'll understand why your friend did what he did.

Sorry j.4knee that you're having to deal with a suicide. It always amazes me the comments about suicide being selfish or being cowardly. Seems to me that's being a bit judgemental. To me suicide is the end result of a very powerful emotion consuming the rational/optomistic part of one's being.

Personally, if in the future my wife dies before I do, I will make sure I'm not far behind her. No kids, no parents, no family, no real friends, and having done just about everything I've ever wanted to do. Why would I want to stick around?? So I can "grow old" in a society that on one hand says abortion is OK but then brings to bear every bit of technology they can to keep a human alive because they can and because it creates a revenue stream for health care professionals???? Sorry - count me out.

And like big stew.....I too know what it's like to be right at the brink of dispare with a handfull of hydrocone & oxycotin in one hand and a glass of water in the other. Not something I'm proud of and still hard to understand how I got there. I'm sure I didn't go through with it 'cause I was worried I would be labelled as a coward or being selfish. (sheesh.......sigh.........)

Tom

[winchester21]

Beg to differ- Terminal illness- pain- no problem.

40 yr old productive individual with kids who everybody loved ( in my case)- who choose to bring kids into this world-loads of friends who he choose to cultivate- you have an obligation to the people who care about you. How many crying children have you had to explain to why some self centered individual who they worshipped decided to eat a bullet??? None I would guess. I completely understand why J4N has an element of anger and misunderstanding for this course of action. Suicide is the ultimate act of cowardice. I have been close to 2 of these events and I have not changed my opinion and never will.

You will always beat yourself up for not stopping it.

[J.4knee]

I'll add one final comment on the topic. Like Chris has alluded to. We bear a responsibility and obligation to those whom we bring into our lives to share with them when things are bothering us, to give them a fare shake at being a friend. This guy had a son, who will live through the rest of his life wondering why his dad checked out. He has a sister who gets the dubious honor of flying out here to bring home what used to be her brother. I too fully understand and appreciate that life sometimes just gets too crazy and you want the train to stop. But this act did not solve his problem(s) it just killed him and made a whole new set of problems for the people who loved him. While I was not his best friend, I was one of his friends, a person who considered him a positive part of my life. I enjoyed our camaraderie, our interactions. I enjoyed his influence in my life. Now I sit here thinking I know I saw him not feeling well within a week of this tragic event.....I cannot help but wonder, should I have picked up on this, could I have helped him? These are answers I’ll never get. I know one of his best friends whom I am good friends with and whom I am reaching out to. This poor guy is just too confused to talk about it. His grief and confusion now must run a course they were not supposed to run. So yes this was a selfish act. I cannot fathom what pushed him over the edge of that d@mn bridge. But I sure would like to have had an honest opportunity to see if I could have helped to at least get him to someone who could possibly have helped.

[Tom Adams]

I absolutely envy you guys who have been blessed with such insight and wisdom. But above all....have the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes/world/mind that you know exactly what a person who's on the verge of suicide is feeling/thinking. What a gift you've been given. And let's not even talk about how someone died and left you in charge of criticizing the dead. Yep - only wish I were the manly man you guys are.

I do not disagee that there's an aftermath from such an act. But you're attempting to rationalize an irrational act done by someone who has 10 reasons why they should die for every one reason why YOU think they should "man-up" and live.

Instead of speculation, why don't you stick to guns, scotch, Porche's.....you know - something you know about instead of something you THINK you know about?? How about just saying things like you don't understand, but will pray for him and his family?? Or does it make you feel superior to "dis" him publicly??

Tom

[oldtimer]

It is indeed more complex than most make it out to be. Each individual is different by definition and make their own conclusions accordingly. Those who cannot fathom it are the fortunate ones who have never suffered from certain medical conditions, chief among those is depression. Hopefully they never will have to deal with it, no one would wish that upon anyone.

[jacksonbart]

Bottom Notch!

[Islander]

Even more tragic is when it runs in families. I was buddies with a couple of brothers who eventually did themselves in when they were in their thirties, one a few years after the other. I later learned that of the five brothers in the family, four had either tried or succeeded in ending their own lives, plus the parents had histories of problems themselves.

[Daddy Dee]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Untimely or premature death is hard to take when it comes anyway. Death at one's own hand is even worse for all the reasons you mentioned. We can never really know what is going on in someone's mind or heart. I think you are right, we will always be left wondering. The family is hit hardest of all. I've wondered about the same things about other friends. Lots of questions unanwered.

[winchester21]

TA- Yeah and maybe you should stick to your motorcycles and you infinite knowledge of the next world. I find it interesting and quite amusing that you feel it necessary to engage in personal attacks when an opposing view is expressed. What does Scotch and Sports cars have to do with this discussion? Having been through this type of situation certainly gives me a perspective and a right to my opinion on the subject. Anyone with a family and kids who - terminal illness execpted-paints the bathroom with their own blood leaving children- siblings- parents- friend to mop up the mess is a coward. End of story. My opinion and I will stick to it.