JL Sargent Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 My wife and I have been discussing this since we have an 11 year old. What do you guys think. I found this recommendation chart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USNRET Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 (edited) I have a 10 yo girl and 13 yo boy who are responsible for kids their age and I have no discipline issues with them. Until this school year I had refused to leave them alone (together). I will now very rarely take mom out to dinner and leave them alone for maybe 2 hours in the early evening. Very infrequently my son might arrive home from school and be alone if mom has taken the daughter to an appointment but I will get home within 30 minutes or so. The 10 yo daughter never gets left alone. I will leave work early to meet her if mom has the boy out for an appointment. Edit: I think that our children (boys in particular) are no longer allowed to be BOYS. For example I can't imagine allowing him to jump off the roof with his grandmother's unbrella as I did. They need boy bumps and scrapes but the world is a different place. I think I am being too protective at times. At his age I had a full time job. We are 'fortunate' that mom stays at home but the kids are lacking in the opportunity to make mistakes and learn. Edited February 25, 2015 by USNRET 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taz Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I think a lot of it depends on the maturity of the kids. I can remember being left with a dog to watch us while we were camping. Fire going, lake side campground. Of course times were different then, and there were other campers around. Does your child have a neighborhood home for a safe place? Lot of variables to consider. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustang guy Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 (edited) Just so long as we are talking about every now and then and not having latch-key kids, I think the chart above is reasonable. I reckon it depends on how big an idiot the kid is (disclaimer: this is tongue in cheek meaning maturity). I have 3 sons, so I know the stuff they can get into. Edited February 25, 2015 by mustang guy 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockhound Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I have a 13 year old son. We leave him alone for up to 3hrs during the day and absolutely not at night (I live in a very rural area). We have set ground rules with him and so far he has not gotten off the tracks. Now mind you I took him to the other side of the tracks to see what desperate people are capable of as I had no clue at his age, he was completely understanding after that trip. He understands what to do in emergencies and he has memorized tactics that should be used in given scenarios. This is important in my opinion teach them what to do if plan A escalates to plan B and then to plan C and so forth. My absolute worse fear is to come home to a missing child and I have done everything in my power to educate him on this not happening but still giving him independence to grow into a young man and eventually the man I expect him to be. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wvu80 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 I think its OK to leave an 11 yo home alone if they have the maturity to follow your rules and stay inside. Having a same-sex friend over is OK, again, if you know the friend and he knows your rules. I would not leave a kid home alone to ride the dirt bike, but inside watching TV or playing the ubiquitous video games should not be a problem. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DizRotus Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 (edited) The chart stops too soon. From 18 - 30 should not be left alone for more than a few hours unless you want your home littered with beer cans and urine stains. For the ages shown in the chart, the general advice makes sense for the safety of the children. After 17, the young person's safety is still important, but it starts to be in lockstep with the safety of your house. Edited February 25, 2015 by DizRotus 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JL Sargent Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 Some good thoughts on this subject. We live in a very rural area. Closest neighbor is 1/2 a mile down the driveway. So far our son isn't interested in being left at the house alone for more than a few minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DizRotus Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 That changes everything. Without a trusted neighbor close by who would welcome an "emergency" contact from your child, I'd add at least 2 years to the recommendations. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Travis In Austin Posted February 25, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 25, 2015 What age do you get them cell phones? My GF's son is 13, he got a cell phone a year ago. She can and does monitor him constantly if she is away. She is a bit more conservative then that chart. She won't let him walk or bike anywhere. She can do face time and see what is going on. Seems like technology is what they need protection from, but also can be your friend. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallette Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 (edited) My son is 13, nearing first class scout, is respectful, obedient, and a lot of fun to be with. He's left alone on occasion for up to three hours or so. We have a web managed lock program on his phone and it's only available a couple of hours on school evenings and when he is on a scout trip, church activity, or the like. He's pretty much totally computer game restricted at the moment as he has a couple of c's in school. A's and B's will get him an hour a day on school days, 3 hours a day on weekends or holidays. If he get's straight A's, he gets unrestricted access. He's fine with the above, and it seems to work for him. Dave Edited February 25, 2015 by Mallette 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Dee Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 i think the ages on the chart sound about right. i don't think we left our girls alone for that long, though. of course, as others have mentioned, the maturity of the individual child is a key consideration. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JL Sargent Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 We have a web managed lock program Dave, can you expound on what this is and does? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2point1 Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 When I was 11 or 12 our parents went on a weeks vacation. We ate dinner at a friends house, went to school everyday and had a high school senior (family friend) stop by and check on us at night. Love those old small Minnesota towns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallette Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 We have a web managed lock program Dave, can you expound on what this is and does? Here you go. Blocks everything outside specified hours except calls to numbers we've defined, provides text logs of all texting (we really DON'T snoop without a very serious reason), and all website visits. We've been very happy with it so far. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Travis In Austin Posted February 26, 2015 Moderators Share Posted February 26, 2015 (edited) We have a web managed lock program Dave, can you expound on what this is and does? Here you go. Blocks everything outside specified hours except calls to numbers we've defined, provides text logs of all texting (we really DON'T snoop without a very serious reason), and all website visits. We've been very happy with it so far. Capture2.PNGCapture1.PNG Does mobile watchdog work with all service providers? AT&T is the one I am most interested in. They used to provide a service similar to this gutted it, so she discontinued it.It looks exactly like what she needs. Travis EDIT: I went to their site and see that it is an app so I am sure they have it for iphone and have a free 14 day trial. He will be having that on soon I am sure. Edited February 26, 2015 by dwilawyer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JL Sargent Posted February 26, 2015 Author Share Posted February 26, 2015 My son does not have a phone yet but that program looks good. Easier to control how the phone is used that way for sure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallette Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Travis, to my knowledge it is not carrier specific at all. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CECAA850 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 Travis, to my knowledge it is not carrier specific at all. Dave Looks like it's time to have "the talk" with that boy after seeing the #3 and 4 websites he tried to access. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max2 Posted February 26, 2015 Share Posted February 26, 2015 8 years old sounds too young to be left alone, but that's just me. I know if your 8 year old gets scared and calls 911 and says Im alone, I heard something and Im scared, etc. Mom and Pop will have some explaining to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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