OO1 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OO1 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OO1 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You're the father of twins.” “That's odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse then yells the second man, “Congratulations! You're the father of triplets!” “That's weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse goes up to the third man saying, “Congratulations! You're the father of quadruplets." “That's strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What's wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OO1 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 There is a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there is a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!'' Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!'' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OO1 Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 An Amish husband, wife and son travel to the city on vacation. They visit a shopping mall and while the mother is shopping, the father and son are standing in awe in front of an elevator (having no idea what it is). As they watch, an elderly lady walks into the strange silver doors and the doors close. The father and son watch as the numbers go up, and then back down. When the doors open, a beautiful young woman walks out. The father leans over and whispers to the son, "Son, go get your mother!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geoff. Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Anyone living in Canada, or close enough to the WORLDS LONGEST UNPROTECTED BORDER, who remembers rabbit ears on a TV can relate to this... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilC Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Fixed 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Fail? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1290 Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George441 Posted July 30, 2020 Share Posted July 30, 2020 How can a woman make you a millionaire? First you have to be a billionaire 😏 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilC Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilC Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DizRotus Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 Staged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJkizak Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 4 hours ago, EmilC said: Fatsoround. JJK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilC Posted July 31, 2020 Share Posted July 31, 2020 war is hell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1290 Posted August 1, 2020 Share Posted August 1, 2020 grasshopper??? 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofers and Tweeters Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KlipschFish Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 They can't do pushups either. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave1290 Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KlipschFish Posted August 3, 2020 Share Posted August 3, 2020 ^^ It pays to look ahead! 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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