(NFL) Ray Rice's Boxing Career is Over

[Fjd]

 

 

She is every bit as bad as him they were made for one another.

 

So she deserved to get KO'd right?

 

 

Think of it this way; if person A offered person B a million dollars if A could take one solid punch at B, who is worse, A for punching, or B for accepting the million dollars?

 

 

Complex issues. There are many that believe that relationships are about who has the control and in this situation her reactions may be more about how she is now trying to deal with her public shame and humiliation over the incident. 

 

In these situations one person is undermining the confidence of the other giving them feelings of worthiness, making them feel crazy and unstable and overall gives them a feeling of fear and shame.

 

From another perspective, how many people would be proud to “wear the video” as a badge of honor for the world to see that they got the crap beat out of them?

 

In the most violent families you will find the actual incidents to be cyclical.  For example, early in the abuse cycle, a violent outburst toward the girlfriend/wife is typically followed by a “honeymoon-like” period where the abuser shows remorse, attention, affection, and generosity, but not genuine compassion toward the other party.  Then the cycle of abuse repeats itself. 

 

The names Rhianna and Chris Brown seem to come to mind…..

[dtel]

Some NFL wives opinion's, what they said to the Today show, (being nice for TV) wonder what they really think, especially if it were them or there daughters ? 

 

http://www.today.com/news/wives-ex-nfl-players-ray-rice-we-understand-why-janay-1D80139010

 

More from the four women:

• Mioshi Johnson, wife of Rice's former Ravens teammate, Chris Johnson, on how the Rices are faring: "I do know Ray and Janay very well. They are good friends of mine and my husband, Chris. They're just feeling very ostracized. Like, you're not helping. Everybody is continually making us relive this when we're trying to heal and grow from this. So where's the help? Where's the support?" 
   
• Johnson, on the shock of the assault: "I would definitely say it was out of character for both of them. They are not violent people. They are very loving, doting over each other, over their daughter." 
   
• Melani Ismail, wife of former NFL wide receiver Raghib Ismail, on how NFL wives are often viewed: "I think the first word that comes to mind is that we're gold diggers, and that we don't have a true love for our husbands, and we're just in it for the money or in it for the fame or whatever. The money comes and goes, and there is no amount of money that could even touch the injuries and the heartache and all the things that go with the NFL. It's a very, very difficult business. It's not just the man. It's his wife, his children and everybody associated with him." 
   
• Ismail, on Ray Rice's future: "He doesn't have to remain a bad guy. He needs some help. You know, it was wrong what happened." 
   
• Neufeld, on the NFL: "I do believe the NFL mishandled this situation tremendously. The NFL can figure out who draft picks or potential draft picks are dating, what their grades are in school, but they couldn't find this video. I think that's troubling." 

[wvu80]

 

Think of it this way; if person A offered person B a million dollars if A could take one solid punch at B, who is worse, A for punching, or B for accepting the million dollars?

 

In this instance, you're purchasing the right to punch someone with their consent.  I don't see the correlation.  I don't believe there was a contract in place in the Rice incident that included violence.

 

 

Of course you're right. 

 

I was trying to separate the emotional issue from the financial incentive.  Boxers exchange punches for cash.  Is it really different for this woman to accept being a punching bag for millions of dollars?  I would point out that AFTER she was punched, she willingly married him.  So IF she married him, she knew IN ADVANCE what the consequences might be.

 

One might conclude (perhaps erroneously) that she was exchanging her acceptance of violence for money.

[CECAA850]

Is it really different for this woman to accept being a punching bag for millions of dollars? I would point out that AFTER she was punched, she willingly married him. So IF she married him, she knew IN ADVANCE what the consequences might be.

 

Domestic violence is not that cut and dried.  It's about control and he obviously has that over her.

[Fjd]

 

I am stopping on page one, but this is pretty much my opinion...That said, in my experience woman have the upper hand when it deals with extracting an emotional response...

 

To me, emotional abuse seems somewhat different than physical abuse as it tends to be more constant; however, it may be a precursor to physical abuse.

 

I believe that emotional abuse is fairly common from both sexes and that women probably do engage in it as much emotionally abusive behavior as men; however, I tend to notice a difference in approach depending on gender that can usually be identified as follows.

 

From what I have seen, an emotionally abusive man controls his partner by manipulating her fear of harm, isolation, and deprivation.  In these instances there is are constant threat or implications that he might hurt her physically, leave her, or keep her apart from family and the things she loves.

 

While it is usually said in private, I have heard guys tell their partner in public that "You spend too much on clothes and you don't look good anyway" or "Quit complaining about how bad you have it, no one else could love you" or "I have to drink to be able to stand you."

 

The difference is that an emotionally abusive woman seems to control her partner by manipulating his fear of failure as a provider, protector, lover, or parent.  Common retorts seem to be, "I could have married a man who made more money” or “I had more orgasms with my last boyfriend” or “you're not a real man” or “you don't know the first thing about raising kids."

 

Therefore, while women seem to engage in as much, or even more, emotionally abusive behavior as men, the physical abuse to control another person seems to be predominately the domain of men.  I suspect for the main reason that it is much easier to control someone with fear as opposed to shame.

[wvu80]

 

Is it really different for this woman to accept being a punching bag for millions of dollars? I would point out that AFTER she was punched, she willingly married him. So IF she married him, she knew IN ADVANCE what the consequences might be.

 

Domestic violence is not that cut and dried.  It's about control and he obviously has that over her.

 

You are correct again sir.    There are MANY issues here that just stink to high heavens. 

 

I think all of us have the right to speak to the issue of domestic violence, but NONE of us can address the SPECIFICS of this one case.  I don't know Ray Rice, his wife, or their family situation.  SHE was the victim of violence here, and her voice should be heard the loudest, instead of all of the media, the bloggers, and others speaking for her.

[CECAA850]

SHE was the victim of violence here, and her voice should be heard the loudest, instead of all of the media, the bloggers, and others speaking for her.

 

Now I'm going to jump on the other side of the fence.

 

She's saying just leave us alone.  It was nobody's business but ours.  Classic Stockholm Syndrome.

[willland]

So she deserved to get KO'd right?

 

 

Absolutely not, but she did help to instigate the situation.  From what I saw in the video, she was yelling, cursing, striking, spitting, which appeared to be fanning the flames in this already intense and volatile moment.  Both participants most likely were intoxicated which even more helped the situation along.

 

I do think RR had the right to defend himself but he absolutely should not have gone on the offense to do that. 

 

As I mentioned before, I don't think Ray Rice should be totally black balled from the NFL but some form of eye opening reality check punishment is in order.  Something along the lines of voided contract, 1 year suspension, 6 months public service working in a battered women's shelter, comprehensive anger management program(both parties), and of course the already occurring public shame and humiliation.

 

Bill

Edited September 10, 2014 by willland

[Fjd]

 

SHE was the victim of violence here, and her voice should be heard the loudest, instead of all of the media, the bloggers, and others speaking for her.

 

Now I'm going to jump on the other side of the fence.

 

She's saying just leave us alone.  It was nobody's business but ours.  Classic Stockholm Syndrome.

 

 

In addition, she is probably looking to hide from the public attention as a mechanism to help her deal with her public shame and humiliation over the incident as well as she has probably entered into that “honeymoon-like” period where he is showing remorse, attention, affection, and generosity, but not necessarily genuine compassion toward her.  Of course, who knows, there could be a few emotional threats and manipulations going on too.

[CECAA850]

And now the AP is reporting that the NFL had the tape 3 months ago.  True or not, it's certainly fanning the stories flames.

[Ceptorman]

The National Organization for Women is calling for Roger Goodell to step down. 

[willland]

The National Organization for Women is calling for Roger Goodell to step down. 

 

Isn't an employer(NFL) the only one with the "right" to ask for an employee's resignation?

 

I love it when these "organizations" demand to have someone's head on a platter.

 

Bill

Edited September 10, 2014 by willland

[Sancho Panza]

Rather the NOW cease to exist.

[CECAA850]

Isn't an employer(NFL) the only one with the "right" to ask for an employee's resignation?

 

The only one(s) that can fire him are the owners and he puts too much money in their pockets.

[Ceptorman]

 

The National Organization for Women is calling for Roger Goodell to step down. 

 

Isn't an employer(NFL) the only one with the "right" to ask for an employee's resignation?

 

I love it when these "organizations" demand to have someone's head on a platter.

 

Bill

 

I doubt if they have enough clout to pressure the NFL to release him.

[Cody_Mack]

I love it when these "organizations" demand to have someone's head on a platter

 

Like Eric Holder is doing in Ferguson, huh?

[oldtimer]

 

Isn't an employer(NFL) the only one with the "right" to ask for an employee's resignation?

 

The only one(s) that can fire him are the owners and he puts too much money in their pockets.

 

Yes the NFL is not the employer.  The team is.  Get ready for this---the NFL is a non-profit organization.

[Zen Traveler]

 

 

I am stopping on page one, but this is pretty much my opinion...That said, in my experience woman have the upper hand when it deals with extracting an emotional response...

 

To me, emotional abuse seems somewhat different than physical abuse as it tends to be more constant; however, it may be a precursor to physical abuse.

 

I believe that emotional abuse is fairly common from both sexes and that women probably do engage in it as much emotionally abusive behavior as men; however, I tend to notice a difference in approach depending on gender that can usually be identified as follows...

 

 

...Therefore, while women seem to engage in as much, or even more, emotionally abusive behavior as men, the physical abuse to control another person seems to be predominately the domain of men.  I suspect for the main reason that it is much easier to control someone with fear as opposed to shame.

 

 

Just to be clear I included my whole comment below and I wasn't talking about emotional abuse:

 

 

 

I am stopping on page one, but this is pretty much my opinion...That said, in my experience woman have the upper hand when it deals with extracting an emotional response...Arguments between men sometimes escalate to fisticuffs when civil discussion gets too much for one side...All I can say is if a chick pisses you off so much that you feel the need to hit her then you better end the relationship because you cannot win morally or legally, imo. ...

 

 

 

That said, I agree men can be every bit as emotionally abusive as women but very rarely do they have the strength or muscle mass of a man so NEVER is it okay to hit a woman unless it's an unprovoked stranger or if she has a weapon and is attacking you--Even then a man better have a good case.

[Zen Traveler]

 

I love it when these "organizations" demand to have someone's head on a platter

 

Like Eric Holder is doing in Ferguson, huh?

 

 

Honestly, that's nothing like this situation unless you've been brainwashed by "the media" into thinking so.

[Zen Traveler]

And now the AP is reporting that the NFL had the tape 3 months ago.  True or not, it's certainly fanning the stories flames.

 

Gosh--If this is true it does make one wonder why they did nothing about it back then...Then again, the NFL is a Corporation and their job is to protect their financial interests....It reminds me about that Sandusky situation in College Football.