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oldtimer

Parental Phrases

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1 minute ago, Jeff Matthews said:

You'll never amount to anything!

They were right.  You became a lawyer....lol

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7 minutes ago, tigerwoodKhorns said:

I once told my mother in response to something, "you have been like a mother to me"  her response, "I am your mother you jerk!"

:lofr:

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44 minutes ago, Jeff Matthews said:

I'll slap you naked and burn your clothes!

 

I forgot....  she also threatened to "smack that taste right out of your mouth"

 

Funny how violent she spoke to  us when we said OJ was guilty.

 

 

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Put you're wants in one hand and you're pee in the other and see which one fills up the fastest ; thanks Mom 

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This is what we're having for supper.  if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it, just don't ask for anything else before breakfast.

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10 hours ago, sunburnwilly said:

Put you're wants in one hand and you're pee in the other and see which one fills up the fastest ; thanks Mom 

because you don't have a pot to piss in.

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20 minutes ago, oldtimer said:

because you don't have a pot to piss in.

Or a window to throw it out of.

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Speaking of pots and windows.... we once had a dog out here on the farm....  had some family over for the weekend in their camper.  One of the gals (wife's first cousin) lives in Nashville and does the "country" thing....had some brand spanking new boots on.

 

Well...don't  you know the dog went up to her to check her out.....  hiked his leg....  peed on her leg which....yes.....  wait for it.....  went down into her brand new boots giving her squishy feet.

 

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

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15 hours ago, Coytee said:

Said by a black woman friend that we razzed about OJ Simpson being guilty...

 

"Ya'll better shut up or I'll smack that white right off your face"

 

"Yall better shut up or I'll slap you into next week"

 

 

Even thought he was let off by the "race card," not a single person, black or white, believes OJ was innocent, even thought he PAID for a "not guilty verdict."

 

From a random black guy in line for something locally: "She better not do that again or I'll pull an OJ on her."

 

To stick to the OP, my mom used to say: "Don't put butter on your toast if you are putting peanut butter on it."

 

My science teacher once said: "You can fool the butcher, you can fool the baker, but you can't fool the undertaker." I still don't know what that means!!

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Johnny Cochran, gloves didn't fit, you must acquit, Furman nullified jury. Detective with tube of blood.

 

You can't get blood out of a turnip.

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On 11/16/2020 at 9:05 AM, billybob said:

This is going to hurt me more than you...

Or the variation...

"This is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me..."

 

I appreciate the honesty. 

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12 minutes ago, muel said:

"This is going to hurt you a lot more than it's going to hurt me..."

 

I appreciate the honesty. 

 

lol, went to dermatologist once to have some basil cell taken off the tip of my nose...  needed to be numbed.  As he approached me with (what appeared to be a three foot long needle to numb it....but was of course, a small one)  I asked him "Is this going to hurt me more than it hurts you???"

 

"Yep" was his only reply.

 

 

 

 

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Funny!  Dad was a surgeon in Vietnam... he had said the same thing to patients.

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17 hours ago, oldtimer said:

You don't know shit from shinola.

 

I use to get that one too. 

 

One of Dad's favorites any time I decided to do something my way, as opposed to the way I was told....  he'd yell out,  "I'm Hoyle!!".  lol,

 

Does anyone get it?

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He is the final arbiter there and he has the rulebook to show it.

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10 minutes ago, Gilbert said:

he'd yell out,  "I'm Hoyle!!".  lol,

 

Does anyone get it?

Yep.

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2 hours ago, Coytee said:

Speaking of pots and windows.... we once had a dog out here on the farm....  had some family over for the weekend in their camper.  One of the gals (wife's first cousin) lives in Nashville and does the "country" thing....had some brand spanking new boots on.

 

Well...don't  you know the dog went up to her to check her out.....  hiked his leg....  peed on her leg which....yes.....  wait for it.....  went down into her brand new boots giving her squishy feet.

 

ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

......warm and squishy feet.

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