Dflip Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Sorry to hear about your mom. It is a difficult time. I lost my father to heart problems seventeen years ago when he turned 60. My friend's mother is going through breast cancer right now with some spots in her bones, but so far, nothing in her organs. My understanding is the cancer in the organs is the biggest problem and very difficult to overcome. She decided not to do chemo in March of last year and tried drugs like tomoxiphin (sp). What it did to her; she lost 30 pounds on an already small frame and the drug corroded her stomach. She then tried an experimental drug from the US, but it didn't work much better. She finally agreed to the chemo in February and has got some relief. She can now eat, has a nice wig that I didn't notice the first time she wore it and can get around some, but does become tired. She is only 63 and did not want to lose her hair, but the other options did not work and were bringing her too much pain. As a last resort she agreed to the chemo. Ask the physicians the questions you need answered and ask for suggestions, timelines, etc... It is not an easy time, more than a few times a week I have to give Donna a long hug because it is taking a lot out of her. Donna is relieved that the chemo is giving her mom some quality of life at the moment. Make the time special and try to do good things with both your mom and wife. Your wife can provide a lot of help later on and she should not be forgotten at this time. You need her support as well. Feel free to vent, when the need arrives. It helps bring us all together in a positive way and I am sure that many prayers are being said for your mom and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoggy Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 My mother died of Liver cancer 3 years ago. I feel your pain and you and your family will be in my prayers. My father passed away 2 weeks ago so I have been recently reminded of how much these things hurt. hoggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cluless Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 smilin- You and yours are in my thoughts. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Thanks to all my extended KLIPSCH FAMILY, today has been an emotional rollercoaster, all the while trying to keep busy enough to let the reality sink in over a period of time. Your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes are of great comfort to me at the present time. I appreciate the responses from your hearts, and am learning thru your own experiences the right way of dealing with my family crisis. I will be flying out on friday with my brother and sister to see my mother. My father is flying back tomorrow and tomorrow night he along with my other brother and a doctor will spell it out for my mother her exact condition, which she has not been told yet. It is a real comfort knowing you guys here on the forum are helping me thru this time of crisis. Thanks again, I have to run now, but will keep my extended family informed. This actually is hellping me to deal with the situation. Thank You again. Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkrop Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Feeling 4 U Smilin... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt1stcav Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Sorry I missed you (just got home), but I wish you and yours the best through this troubling time. I can also relate to your mom's situation; my grandmom had colon cancer and had her entire large intestines removed. Instead of chemotherapy, she had radiation treatment which seemed to help, but later caused much pain due to the scar tissue healing. It's a tough situation to be in, and even tougher for your mom. But like everyone else said, be supportive of your mom's decisions and support her with all your heart. She knows you love her and that you want the best for her. Be strong, and remember...we're all here for you as well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IB Slammin Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 ---------------- On 4/20/2004 3:16:15 PM Tom Mobley wrote: Well, when the stuff is getting deep it is always a time to remember that ODAAT thing. Heavenly Father, I thank you today for being a good God of all understanding and mercy. I ask today for mercy for Smilin's mom, and I ask that You help him to find the strength and courage to to blow off the old "I must be strong " guy thing and just cry for a couple hours. Father, I remember your Word that promises comfort for those who mourn, And I remember it doesn't promise much to those who won't admit how much it hurts. Also Father I ask that You would help smilin choose not to use the things that are not good for him. Thank You Father. ---------------- ......."any two that agree on earth".....and I do agree..... You put things in the right perspective Tom. Smilin, you and yours are in our prayers. Terry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GRB Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Steve, So sorry to hear the news of your mother. Stay strong and all the luck to you and yours. Rob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Robinson Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 ---------------- On 4/20/2004 5:30:08 PM hoggy wrote: My mother died of Liver cancer 3 years ago. I feel your pain and you and your family will be in my prayers. My father passed away 2 weeks ago so I have been recently reminded of how much these things hurt. hoggy ---------------- Hoggy, man, I'm sorry to hear of your recent loss as well. Damn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuisis Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin My mother died of cancer in 1992. She never told my brother or I how far advanced it was and as a result we thought everything was going to be okay. Maybe the only thing I regret is the fact that I didn't spend enough time with her until we finally realized how bad it was. If I was you I would put everything you can on hold for a while and spend as much time with her as you possibly can. I would give anything to spend more time with her, but no matter what I will never be able to. Needless to say I feel for you and my thoughts are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thebes Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Right now it's all about family. Give her as much as you can of what she gave to you. Sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J M O N Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Sorry to hear of this, I wish only the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neo33 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, your mother will be in my thought and prayer. Please be a good son to her. And keep on smilin! . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtaylor Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Lost both of my parents to cancer and my wifes Mom as well. My wife went through a bout with breast cancer 4 years ago but is now still clean. Life is tough. Enjoy what time remains. All the best to you smilin. Randy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HDBRbuilder Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, My mother was killed by a drunk driver who ran off the road and hit her (she was a pedestrian) while I was stationed overseas in 1976. I never got a "last chance" to tell her the things I should have told her. My father had 3/4 of his stomach removed in 1963, then the Army medically retired him just four months before he would have been eligible to draw retirement pay for thirty years of service instead of the twenty years of service they paid him for. It left a really bad taste in his mouth towards the military! But he continued on, and used to laugh because the doctors at Walter Reed told him that he likely wouldn't live over a year after that surgery...he used to say "I made fools out of those damned doctors!" Then in 1982, he suffered a massive heart attack at about 2 AM, but by the time I got to the hospital at around 7 AM, he was still sitting up on a gurney and having CONTINUOUS "little aftershock" heart attacks. The doctors could not do anything for him at that small county hospital, but were afraid to move him, because "the move will kill him." My stepmother asked me what to do...I said, "Get him somewhere that they CAN DO SOMETHING for HIM!! He is surely gonna die if he just keeps sitting HERE on that damned gurney!!" So they hauled him 80 miles to a hospital and he MADE IT! He survived that heart attack and went in for surgery a month later...triple bypass, artifical valve, pig aorta (they originally planned on FIVE bypasses, but were afraid to leave him on the table any longer than the LONG TIME he was in surgery!!)! Before he went into surgery, he was told by the doctors to say goodbye to us, but he refused to do so. The doctors gave him a 30% chance (at best!)of making it through the surgery! After surviving that 6-hour surgery ordeal he used to laugh and say he made fools out of the doctors again!! In 1987, he had urinary tract problems, so he went to get the old "roto-rooter" treatment. They found some kind of gelatinous substance was blocking up his tract near his prostate, and did a biopsy of it. Prostate cancer! So, off he went to chemotherapy and radiation treatments, swearing he would "fool those damned doctors yet again!" They got the prostate cancer in remission, but a few months later, he started having trouble talking...this time it was throat cancer...he laughed and said "I must have nine damned lives, and I am gonna fool those doctors AGAIN...just watch me!" Radiation treatments and chemotherapy again...throat cancer went into remission...BUT within a couple of months, his prostate cancer kicked-in again, then the throat cancer kicked in on top of that and it all met in the middle! His systems "shut down" on a Thursday morning, but he struggled to "fool the doctors ONE MORE TIME!" On Sunday night, he knew that I had to run back home (80 miles away) and get some lesson plans for my classes delivered to the principal for the substitute teacher(I was teaching back then). He was at home in his bed, refusing to go back to the hospital again because he didn't "want to die in a hospital"! He asked me to give him a shave late Sunday afternoon before I left...so I did so as he lay in bed...hot towel, the works! Grinning through his pain, he feebly felt his face and told me "good shave...well worth two-bits! Get a quarter outta my pocket over there" Then he had everybody but me leave the room...so he could tell me "goodbye". I knew what he was doing, but I refused to admit it to myself! I told him "I gotta run, but will be back in the morning. Hang in there!" He told me to drive carefully and that he loved me. But as I left, I knew that would be the last time I would hear his voice! And it was! I cried all the way home...did what I had to do there, tried to grab 2 hours of sleep before heading back. I got up at 3 AM, got ready to head back, and something told me not to leave home yet...so I waited by the phone for maybe 30 minutes. Then I got the call I was dreading! Unlike the situation with my mother, I got a chance to say goodbye to my father! My father had one big worry that he wanted to get off his chest before he gave up his struggle. Just after I shaved him, we talked alone. All he wanted to do was to tell me that he had done the best he could for me as a father. He worried that he had not been as good of a father as he COULD have been! And I made sure he KNEW that there could NEVER have been a BETTER FATHER for ME! I also reminded him of how much I loved him and would ALWAYS LOVE HIM! He said the same to me! Dad is with God now...no more pain...just everlasting bliss! Know that my prayers are with you and yours...and that I hope that your mother will "make fools out of those doctors" this time and many times to come! You know what you have to do now, so go do it! Reassure her, comfort her, and let her know how you feel! I pray that you will be making this trip unneccessarily and that everything will turn out better than you are expecting, with your mother recovering from this!! Go with God, my friend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
space_cowboy Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It just doesn't seem fair, I try to live the life to know. Mark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynnm Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Smilin I have nothing to say beyond what your other friends here have already said. I can only say that your pain will pass some day but for now know that we all wish you and your mom the best. Sorry to hear of her ( and your ) misfortune. Hang in there Bud ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators dtel Posted April 20, 2004 Moderators Share Posted April 20, 2004 I don't post very often but am always here! Sometimes you have to post,very sorry to hear about this. My father had heart problems for years and at the last minute got a rare heart transplant,he came through that just fine. 1 year later he got cancer exactly where the defibulator was placed in his chest when waiting for the transplant.He did get chemo which did nothing except make him very sick and the last few weeks he did not even know where he was,i think of him every day and was very glad for the time spent with him. Strange things happen,the 2 consecutive years after on that date i became a grandfather.one very nice reminder of him. Sorry for the long post. Good luck and many prayers to your famly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skonopa Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 ---------------- On 4/20/2004 8:31:39 PM HDBRbuilder wrote: Unlike the situation with my mother, I got a chance to say goodbye to my father! My father had one big worry that he wanted to get off his chest before he gave up his struggle. Just after I shaved him, we talked alone. All he wanted to do was to tell me that he had done the best he could for me as a father. He worried that he had not been as good of a father as he COULD have been! And I made sure he KNEW that there could NEVER have been a BETTER FATHER for ME! I also reminded him of how much I loved him and would ALWAYS LOVE HIM! He said the same to me! ---------------- Wow! I was doing everything to keep myself from tearing up. That is probably one fear that I have. I pray that when that time does come, I'll be able to say goodbye. I almost lost my parents to a car accident, but if not for my father's skillful driving. Some jack@$$ decided to pass somebody on a two-lane road on a double-yellow over the crest of a hill and nearly hit my mom and dad's car head on (a 1999 Mustang GT convertable - one of four cars my parents have). My father was able to bail on the shoulder. They did get the license plate number of the car and reported it to police. Never did hear what happened to that driver, though. I love my parents dearly and I know "Smilin Steve" does too. Although I already posted here, but just reaffirm he and his family are still in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Steve I too will offer prayers as others here have..I will agree with others that you should use this time to spend with your mother..she sounds like a very strong woman, and please heed her wishes..if we could only be so brave!! My best thoughts are with you..take care! Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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