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 Hello!  Is this Gordon's Pizza?
 
 No sir, it's Google's Pizza.
 
 Did I dial the wrong number?
  
 No sir, Google bought this pizza store.
  
 Oh, all right - then I’d like to place an order please.
  
 Do you want the usual?
  
 The usual? You know what my usual is?
  
 According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust.
 

 Okay - that’s what I want this time too.
 
 May we suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?
  
 No, I hate vegetables.
 
 But your cholesterol is not good.
  
 How do you know that?
  
 Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
  
 Maybe so, but I don’t want the pizza you suggest – I already take medicine for high cholesterol.
  
 But you haven’t taken the  medicine regularly. Four months ago you purchased a box of only 30 tablets from Drugsale Network.
  

 I bought more from another drugstore.
  
 It's not showing on your credit card sir.
  
 I paid in cash.
  
 But according to your bank statement you did not withdraw that much cash.
  
 I have another source of cash.
 
 This is not showing on your last tax form, unless you got it from an undeclared income source.
  
WHAT THE HELL!   ENOUGH!   I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp. 
I'm going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me. 
  
 I understand sir, but you’ll need to renew your passport . 
     It expired 5 weeks ago.
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