middlecreekguy Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Steve, I have had some experience with cancer on my mom`s side of the family. Not one of my favorite subjects. Cancer that is. You have some great advise within this thread. I can not add any more. Log on when you need a friend. We are here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stan krajewski Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I am so sorry. I will pray for her. My heart goes out to you. But she is not gone yet and there is always hope. My brother died of a brain cancer on September 9, 2002. He wasn't even 50. I think of him every day, remembering all we did together. All the differences, arguments, bad posts and name calling that we all do here seem rather insignificant at times like this. Lets all hope and pray for a miracle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cal Blacksmith Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Smilin, This is indeed a tough time in your families life. I am new to this board and haven't had the chance to "get to know you" yet. I lost both of my grandparrents to cancer several years ago so to a smaller degree I have been where you are now. Just 4 days ago, we nearly lost our son in a car accident, he came out of it without anything more than a few glass cuts. It was a very bad accident and brought home to all of us just how fragile and short life is. He asked me how to get through this tough time in his life and I gave him the advice I am going to give you. Take it one day at a time, one hour, one minute, one breath. Do the upright honorable thing in every situation, lean on God and let him take you through this. At times like this, we often ask "why them?" yet it is our lot in this life to die. In all of history, only God, Jesus, came back of his own accord. He has been there for me, for you, for all of us. Let him help you and your family through this trial. I will be offering prayers for your strength. Spend as much time with your mother as you can with the time she has left. Say good bye. Don't let anything go undone that will give you regrets. Praying for you and your family, Wayne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piranha Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Smilin, I feel for you brother. You, your mom, and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers. You have my number. Let me know if you ever need to talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Robinson Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 ---------------- On 4/21/2004 9:34:27 AM cablacksmith wrote: At times like this, we often ask "why them?" yet it is our lot in this life to die. ---------------- I just got this from a friend this morning. It is really a timely read ... ============================================== Commencement speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Anna Quindlen at Villanova University: I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account but your soul. People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is a cold comfort on a winter night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've gotten back the test results and they're not so good. Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my profession stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, or at best mediocre at my job, if those other things were not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red tailed hawk circles over the water or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger. Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beers and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister. All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough. It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our spouse's eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live. I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned . By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived. -- Anna Quindlen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timmikid Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Hello Smilin', as many others have on this forum I've been there too. Sometimes it's good to share with people who understand a little bit of what you are going through. Most has been said already. Quality time spent with her and her other loved ones is your only priority now. Now and whatever time you have left is the time to do all you ever wanted to do together. I found the hardest task was to abandon all shame and uneasiness. I didn't talk with my father as I did to friends. Changing this very quickly meant to me and my dad that we became best friends just before he died, even more than we already were. Just do the best you can. There will always be moments when you think; I wish I'd... I wish you strength and I consider it a great honour that you share this with me. Tim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kris K Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Smilin, my thoughts and prayers go out to your and your family. I lost my mother in September of 2002 to cancer.She fought a long hard battle for 2 years. The time that me and my siblings spent with her weeks before her passing is priceless and left wonderful memories that will last me a lifetime. Spend time with her, ask her questions that you always wanted to ask her in which she only has the answer. Photos, family movies bring about a soothing effect. Your mom will have good days ahead of her, so enjoy those days with her. There is a book that Hospice puts out called, " Gone from my sight", please read it if you have a chance, it will help you understand what she is going through. Anyone that has read this book will agree. The people from Hospice are wonderful if you need them. Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gibbie Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I lost my father when I was one so I never got the pleasure of knowing him. To this day I enjoy hearing about him from his friends and family. All of the memories shared by the group prove that we are all here for a very short time and should remember how previous life is. Everything else pales in comparison. Thanks, Chris for sharing the commencement speech. My thoughts are with you and your family Steve. Alex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarkBK Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Steve, So sorry to hear of the news regarding your mother. I too have been there as many have said. I lost my father to cancer 9 years ago - 2 of my children never had a chance to meet or know him. He was a great man. I was smart enough at the time to realize that some of my family may never know the man as our immediate family did and did something I would recommend. Take the time to sit with your mom while her health still permits and video tape her talking about her life - from earliest memories of her life all the way through her being your mom, etc. The good times, the troubled times, the laughter and the pain. This will allow your mom to give you one last gift - a memory of her spirit in a way only living can deliver. My tapes of my father were never completed and then he past all too soon...still it is the most important 8 hours of film I have the pleasure of viewing - with my family and without. I know you will find a way to get through this tough time and wish you and your family all the best. If you ever want to rant just for release or whatever - don't hesitate to call. MarkBK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-MAN Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Smilin, I lost my mom to the ineptitude of the medical community after she was diagnosed with cancer. The cancer was not even fatal. But the treatment was. Your mother is making a good decision in my opinion. I am sorry that this doesn't help anything, but others have been there before you and more will be coming after. DM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtaylor Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 Nice Chris, r Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhawk92 Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Smilin- Can't add much else to what everyone above has posted, but my thoughts are with you. Spend time with your mom. I was fortunate to be able to do that will all three of my grandparents before they passed and it made things a bit easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gilbert Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Keep your chin up, and stay focused. Warm Regards, Gilbert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarryC Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 I am very sorry for your mother and what you and her loved ones are going through. My thoughts are very much with you. Larry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of my fellow Klipsch lovers and audio nutz. Your words truely helped me during the last 50 odd days. My MOM passed away on Friday June 11th at 6 in the morning. I will always remember this day for it is the day I married my wife. Yes she passed away on my 15th anniversary. 2 days after I wrote this initial thread I flew to Florida to help her fight in whichever way Mom desired. She was in so much pain she could only move her head a bit. The bone cancer in her spine had caused compression. Mom was strong, and was not taking anything for pain. I talked to her about pain management, and she agreed to see an oncologist and to use morphine patches. This helped take some pain away. My brother hired a vegin chef, and she had acupunture and moxa treatments, Mom was fading fast, and I found the best oncologist in south Florida to see her, turned out Mom was malnurished, and had hypercalcemia, she was in the hospital for a week and this gave Mom another month to live. I stayed with Mom in Florida for 2 of the three weeks she was there, than we chartered a plane to get Mom back home to Chicago. She wanted to live, to fight, she was a super strong woman who touched many lifes. My 2 brothers, my sister, and my father struggled to keep her alive, happy, and out of pain. The past 2 months have been the hardest in my life. To see what someof my family put Mom thru in the effort to save her brings much grief to me. I attempted to abide by my Moms wishes and did not force anything on her. My oldest brother forced her to take 30 pills a day, green vegetable drinks, and vergin food that did not give her the calorie intake she needed. I was sad to see her suffer even more than she was. I could write chapters about what we went thru, but suffice it to say, it no longer matters. Mom is with god now, and in my heart. I will always be honored with her day of death for this marks the begginning of my nuclear family. The 10 days before death were the hardest, Moms liver was blocked and she turned yellow, we were working with an oncologist who specializewd ton natural foods for healing, combined with staged chemo treatments. Mom was not strong enough for any of thisa experimentation. I am happy for this. We took her to the hospital for an afternoon to find out if we could unblock her liver, turned out to be eaten by cancer, so we took her home. God gave her a miracle and somehoe the liver started working a bit, she lasted 9 more days. I have not worked in the last 45 days, but spent most all my time with my parents and siblings. Mom had moment of lucidity, but was working real hard at coming to terms with her life. She said so many things that make me cry, but I try to remain strong. I strive to be the Man who taught my daughter how to handle DEATH. Yes it sucks, but this is also reality 101. Thanks for helping me get thru this horrific period in my life. Shiva will be over with Friday at 1 oclock. Maybe I can than get back to a more normal life. Mom, I love you and miss you, you will always be a part of me. Thank you god for taking away Moms pain,and bringing her home peacefully, with her family by her side, at her home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy Landau Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 My condolences to you and your family, Smilin man. If you need anything, I'm here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Champagne taste beer budget Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 My sincerest condolences. Thankfully her pain is over and she has went to a much better place with no pain or fear, only happiness and love. Stay strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
picky Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 smilin: I am extremely sorry to learn about your mom. I don't know what else to say but you have my sincere and deepest sympathy. May God bless her and watch over you and yours. Try not to let this get you down too far. Good days are ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3dzapper Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 Steve, Very sorry for your loss of your mother. May your future be brighter. Rick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fish Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 smilin,I too would like to offer my condolences and wish you peace and better days ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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