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 One for today that I "borrowed" from a Jewish humour group I belong to on FB:


Chaim comes to his rabbi with a problem he’s been having lately:

— Rabbi, as you know, I’ve been working at Katz’ Deli for the past few years. But lately, I’ve been overcome with an immense desire to stick my penis into the pickle slicer. All I can think about is fulfilling this dream of mine.

The rabbi is disturbed and suggests to Chaim to join Talmudic studies at the synagogue a few times a week to see if the wisdom of Talmud may help him overcome such a peculiar desire.

After a few weeks, Chaim comes to rabbi again. He clearly lost a few pounds, his forehead is sweaty, and he shares with rabbi that even though the study helped to dull his obsession a little initially, but it came back with a vengeance and the only thing he really can think of is sticking his penis into the pickle slicer at work.

Rabbi thinks hard about it and finally says: Chaim, since the desire in you is so powerful and it consumes you so much, then perhaps the best course of action would be to follow up on it.

So Chaim leaves, and comes back next afternoon proclaiming:

— Rabbi, Rabbi! I did it! I stuck my penis into the pickle slicer!

Rabbi looks at him in disbelief and asks him:

— Are you OK, Chaim?

— Yes, yes, I am more than OK! It was the best experience in my life! I did get fired from Katz’ Deli, but it was absolutely worth it!

— And what about the pickle slicer?

— Well, she got fired too.


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Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf.


 At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf, and head for lunch.


 "Where do you wanna go?"



 "Why Hooters?"


"They have those servers with big boobs, tight shorts, and gorgeous legs."

 "You're on."


At age 42, they meet and play golf again.

"Where you wanna go for lunch?"




"Again? Why?"


"They have a cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."




At age 52 they meet and play again.


"So where do you wanna go for lunch?"






"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."




At age 62 they meet again.


After a round of golf, one says, "Where do you wanna go?"






"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."


"Good choice"


At age 72 they meet again.


Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"






"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts."


"Great choice."


At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"






"Because we've never been there before."


"Okay, let’s give it a try."

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