Jokes?

[oldtimer]

And that's no joke!

[babadono]

 

5 minutes ago, jason str said:

Wind and solar are not the only sources of natural renewable energy.

Yea there's cow farts

[oldtimer]

1 minute ago, babadono said:

 

Yea there's cow farts

And a lot more hot air from the usual suspects...

[OO1]

A Women Went On Holiday Leaving Her Husband Behind. Before She Left, She Told Him To Take Extra Special Care For Her Pet Cat.

 

As Soon As She Arrived There, She Called Her Husband And Asked If The Cat Was Aright.

 

He Husband Said, "The Cat Just Died!" She Burst Into Tears And Said, "How Could You Be So Blunt? Why Couldn't You Have Broken The News Gradually! Today You Could Have Said It Was Playing On The Roof, Tomorrow You Could Have Said It Fell Off And Had Broken It's Leg. Then On The Third Day, You Could Have Say The Poor Thing Had Passed Away In The Night. You Could Have Been More Sensitive About The hole Thing.

 

By The Way, How's The Mother?" He Said, "She's Playing On The Roof!"

 

 

[OO1]

 

A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.

Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school. The robot slaps the son.
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda! The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching war movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.
 

[OO1]

 

 

A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

 

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having s... with the nanny.

 

He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.”

[Desert Noises]

A grandpa and grandson go fishing. While sitting on the end of the dock, grandpa pulls out a bottle of whiskey and takes a swig. The grandson asks, “can I have a sip?” Grandpa asks his grandson, “can you touch your butthole with your wiener?” “No,” replies the grandson. Grandpa says, “well, you can’t have any, then.”

 

Some time passes and the grandson pulls out a bag of cookies that his grandma had baked that morning. Grandpa asks, “how about giving gramps one of them cookies?” The grandson replied, “can you touch your butthole with your wiener?” “Why, yes, I can” replies grandpa. The grandson looks his grandpa in the eye and says, “well, I guess you can go f#$k yourself then.”

[RRR]

1 hour ago, babadono said:

 

Yea there's cow farts

There's likely enough thermal energy under Yellowstone to run the country even if we reverted back to steam engines.

 

Maybe we could somehow recycle the farts.

[Shakeydeal]

Actually the percentage coal contributes is double your figure. In any event fossil fuels account for 60% of power generation. I work in the nuclear industry and the tree huggers have been chipping away at that form of energy for over 30 years now. Renewables? 20%.

 

So for the foreseeable future some type of non renewable energy will power your electric cars.

[oldtimer]

It is pointless to argue the actual numbers, especially when there is a wide difference between "capacity" and actual "production," but as a whole I agree with you.  The important point is that diversification and seeking out new and better technologies is good for the nation.  There are many steps in the right direction.  

[Dave A]

Hydroelectric is used around here. Best thing going most of the time but no substitute for nukes.

[JJkizak]

4 hours ago, jason str said:

There's likely enough thermal energy under Yellowstone to run the country even if we reverted back to steam engines.

 

Maybe we could somehow recycle the farts.

Yellowstone is some 40,000 years overdue to pop it's cork.

JJK

[OO1]

A little boy gets on the public bus and sits right behind the bus driver.

 

The boy keeps repeatedly saying," If my mom was a cow and my dad was a bull, I'd be a little calf.

 

If my mom was a hen and my dad was a chicken, I'd be a little chick.

 

If my mom was a deer and my dad was a buck, I'd be a little deer.

 

If my mom was a duck and my dad was a goose, I'd be a little duckling."

 

The bus annoyed bus driver stops the bus and turns to the boy saying, "What if your mom was a drunk and you dad was a bum?" The boy responds, "Then I'd be a bus driver."

[oldtimer]

1 hour ago, JJkizak said:

Yellowstone is some 40,000 years overdue to pop it's cork.

JJK

And then the joke is on us...

[Woofers and Tweeters]

[Fish]

On 1/28/2022 at 10:59 AM, jason str said:

Wind and solar are not the only sources of natural renewable energy.

But...they are the most expensive and unreliable...so there's that.

[Islander]

On 1/28/2022 at 11:39 AM, Dave A said:

Hydroelectric is used around here. Best thing going most of the time but no substitute for nukes.

 

When I worked in the Thermal Division (which uses/used coal, oil, and gas across southern Ontario to power their boilers) of Ontario Hydro in the late 1980s/early 1990s), I learned that nuclear power generation was very efficient, but it worked best with sustained loads.  For short term demands (under 24 hours) on the grid, like on Monday mornings when factories across Ontario would all power up within a few hours, thermal power would be called on, because of the long times required to power up and power down the nuclear reactors.

 

As well, hydro power, which was generated at water-powered stations, like the one at Niagara Falls, and many others, contributes to the energy available to Ontario’s power grid, and has done for over a century.  How much it contributes, I don’t know.

 

That was how things were in Ontario 25-30 years ago.  Now I live in British Columbia (BC), where the population is much smaller and the terrain is much more mountainous.  That makes renewable power as close as the nearest river, which is how BC makes so much hydro power that they can sell surplus power to California.  That’s cool!

 

Lakeshore Thermal Generating Station in Port Credit, on the shore of Lake Ontario, just west of Toronto, was where I worked for several years.  After Darlington Nuclear Generating Station, located east of Toronto, with its huge reactors, came online in the early 1990s, Lakeshore TGS was declared redundant and all its workers were laid off.  The same thing happened at thermal stations across the province.  A few years later, the station was demolished, including the 4 big smokestacks, which had long served as a landmark for non-commercial air traffic (and maybe some small commercial aircraft, too).

 

It’s not clear how the loss of the more flexible thermally-generated power affects Ontario’s power grid now, in the 21st century.

[oldtimer]

q  

[JBCODD]

Gallimaufrey:

 

 

[veloceleste]

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