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A businessman ordered flowers to be sent to the opening of his friend’s new branch office. When the businessman got to the event, he was shocked to see the flowers with the inscription “Rest in Peace.” 

He was so outraged that he stopped at the florist to complain. “It could be worse,” the florist said, “Just think: Today someone was buried beneath a floral arrangement with the inscription ‘Congratulations on Your New Location!’”

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16 hours ago, Woofers and Tweeters said:

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Reminds me of a county sheriff I once knew of. Wrecked lots of cars, so they told him he'd have to provide his own car. He drove a Mustang GT and would instigate people to speed and turn the lights on. Glad I wasn't the one dating his daughter.....

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5 minutes ago, CWOReilly said:

Reminds me of a county sheriff I once knew of. Wrecked lots of cars, so they told him he'd have to provide his own car. He drove a Mustang GT and would instigate people to speed and turn the lights on. Glad I wasn't the one dating his daughter.....

 

In my home town there was a straight, almost flat stretch of road that had a posted 25 mph speed limit for about three miles, because there were several schools along the way. I was aware that it was also a speed trap, so I always drove at the limit. One dark evening about 8:00 I was driving this road, and I saw a pair of headlights behind me, coming up fast. The car got so close that I could no longer see its headlights in the mirror. So I slowed-down. The driver refused to back-off or pass, so I slowed-down more. Finally we were crawling along at less than 15 mph when he gave up, floored-it, and passed me.

 

It was a local cop. You can guess what he was trying to do.

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On 2/4/2022 at 4:43 AM, oldtimer said:

 

Then there’s the 1000-year-long song called Long Player.  It started to play in 1999 and will play until 2999.  Surprisingly, it was composed by one of the members of the Pogues.  It’s based on a 20-minute composition and is said to never repeat for the full 1000 years.  Long Player is played on singing/prayer bowls, and sounds sort of like chimes.  It makes for relaxing background music.

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