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HER TELEPHONE COMPANY

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An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar. 
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

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An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant. They order one hamburger, one order of fries and one drink.

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife.

He takes a sip of the drink, his wife takes a sip and then sets the cup down between them. As he begins to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them keep looking over and whispering `That poor old couple – all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.`

As the man begins to eat his fries a young man comes to the table. He politely offers to buy another meal for the old couple.

The old man replies that they`re just fine – they`re just used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn`t eaten a bite. She sits there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man comes over and begs them to let him buy another meal for them.

This time the old woman says `No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.`

As the old man finishes and was wipes his face neatly with the napkin,the young man again comes over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asks `May I ask what is it you are waiting for?`

The old woman answers… the teeth.`

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1 hour ago, Jeff Matthews said:

Ha ha!  True, but the time-frame is off.  We never wore helmets.

I thought everybody had a Pepsi Logo hat. It's the shorts and socks that shows that I used to dress funny.... meagerly. 

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Growing up it was on the Victrola, phonograph, and Looney Tunes. 

IMG_0708.JPG

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And the 70s
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I also had a paper route, delivered the Laredo Times on horseback.

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

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2 hours ago, JBCODD said:

Growing up it was on the Victrola, phonograph, and Looney Tunes. 

IMG_0708.JPG

It's not a joke but for me it was my mother playing Rachmaninov on the piano.  Well, the funny part was when the dachshund sang along.

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11 minutes ago, oldtimer said:

It's not a joke but for me it was my mother playing Rachmaninov on the piano.  

Cool!  She must have been good!

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Finally got to see a TV (with no signal) in first grade. Saw and tasted my first pizza at 19.

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Finally got to see a TV (with no signal) in first grade. Saw and tasted my first pizza at 19.

We had a black & white TV until the mid 70’s.
My oldest brother is ten years older so when he was about 17 he brought home pizza from a pizzeria, so I was 7 and had never had it before. I thought it was the best food ever. That was in about 1973.
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