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1 hour ago, mungkiman said:

 

Thank you.

 

No problem.  There's some good content here.  Would be a shame to shut it down. 

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10 minutes ago, CECAA850 said:

No problem.  There's some good content here.  Would be a shame to shut it down. 

 

Agreed. I questioned my Chargers Security Guard post, but left no links, nor images.

 

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After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl every night.

Now, I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 69-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

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........A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.
So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your
note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk.
Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"
The blonde said,
"No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

 

 


Wait for it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


The blonde said,
"No, just up to my **** ...
I can splash it on my eyes if I need to!"

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On ‎12‎/‎13‎/‎2016 at 2:29 PM, oldtimer said:

Who was it that said "I spent all my money on booze, broads, and boats, and the rest I wasted?"

 

It was George Best, the footballer/soccer player from Northern Ireland..

 

The actual quote was, "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars - the rest I just squandered."

 

Sadly, he died at age 59, due to complications from a liver transplant.  He did a lot of drinking...  However, he was very popular.  At his funeral, the route taken by the cortege was lined with 100,000 mourners.  In 2006, Belfast City Airport was renamed George Best Belfast City Airport as a tribute to him.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Best

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One day while walking through the countryside a poor Russian peasant discovered an old lamp. He started to polish it and out came a genie who told him that for freeing him from the lamp he would grant him one wish.

Ivan thought for a minute before declaring, "I am a poor simple man with simple needs, therefore I wish that Ivan pee vodka!" The Genie exclaimed that Ivan's wish was granted and disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Ivan runs home and bursts through the door yelling, "Wife, bring two cups, tonight we drink vodka!!!" He pees in the cups and sure enough, it's the best vodka either had ever tasted. They drink into the wee hours of the morning.

The next night he comes through the door and again hollers, "Wife, bring two cups, tonight we drink vodka!!!" This continues all week until Friday night when Ivan comes in the door and exclaims, "Wife, bring me one cup!!!"

His wife is upset and asks, "Ivan, all week you say bring two cups and we drink vodka, so why tonight do you only ask for one cup?"

 

 

 

 



Ivan smiles and replies, "Because tonight wife, you drink from bottle

 

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27 minutes ago, Wolfbane said:

Our Slogan: Fly United! Coffee, tea. cash voucher or beating?

 

 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll0-next-trip-i-fly-united-im-taking-the-money.jpg

When the pilot tells you to get off the plane, then GET OFF THE PLANE!

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On 4/12/2017 at 7:36 AM, Wolfbane said:

Our Slogan: Fly United! Coffee, tea. cash voucher or beating?

 

 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllll0-next-trip-i-fly-united-im-taking-the-money.jpg

That is to funny, lol.

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Unexpected sex – that’s a great way to wake up. If you are not in a prison…

 

Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?  Everyone that can run, jump and swim are in the USA.
 

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On 4/12/2017 at 9:04 AM, HDBRbuilder said:

When the pilot tells you to get off the plane, then GET OFF THE PLANE!

I'm thinking you and I might be the only two people who think that way.

 

Back to reality, I'm thinking that after the jury trial that guy gets more than the $800 he was offered to leave peacefully.

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51 minutes ago, derrickdj1 said:

Unexpected sex – that’s a great way to wake up. If you are not in a prison…

What does Bill Clinton say to Hillary after sex?

 

"I'll be home in a half-hour."

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11 minutes ago, wvu80 said:

I'm thinking you and I might be the only two people who think that way.

 

Back to reality, I'm thinking that after the jury trial that guy gets more than the $800 he was offered to leave peacefully.

Not only that, but it was the cops that caused the damage, not the airline.

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12 minutes ago, wvu80 said:

I'm thinking you and I might be the only two people who think that way

You would be wrong.  Count me in.

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1 hour ago, oldtimer said:

Not only that, but it was the cops that caused the damage, not the airline.

I had no idea, I didn't know that.  I haven't watched any of that coverage except the part one is forced to endure while flipping channels.  If it comes on a channel I am watching, I change to something else. 

 

I fully admit the hospital photo further upstream ^^^ of the guy's face looks pretty bad.

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Dave,

 

That photo above does look bad, but it's not a photo of Dr. David Dao. This one is.

 

image.jpeg

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Many wrong things here. Too bad the available videos do not show the entire confrontation. Even with reported past behavior and licensing issues no one should have to go thru this but again no one should let their pissed-off-ed-ness get to this.
 

With this particular incident aside the airlines need to get back to understanding that we are customers and they are sales providers. I travel more than I want and I do not like being treated as if they are doing me a favor. I PAID your salary!

 

Edit: whoops, sorry, forgot this was in jokes section.

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I found my roommate hanging from a rope in his bedroom.


On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."


I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.


As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

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A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was
named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

Whereupon the blonde responded, "What else you gonna name watch dogs?"

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